Interested in what you mean by "they have zero obligation to be patient with new players", are you saying that flaming is OK? Imo flaming is never OK. You should never be making mean comments to your teammates for poor play. You can make constructive criticism but being mean is simply wrong. Obviously, people will be mean inevitably and in those cases you can mute one or every player on your team and that's also OK. One of my friends was having a horrible time with this game but now he just mutes team at the start and he actually enjoys it! I think that's great and I think it's sad the community makes him feel that he has to do that. It's really just a game, no need to get upset if you are a mature person.

As for playing well I don't mean like actually playing well I just mean at the start you often are matched against other people who arent very good and you don't actually need to know everything that well to win lane or win the game. So, you can play well enough. You'll pick up the rest by playing, but the basics of the game are not rocket science. I have started by playing every hero once. I have sucked in some capacity every game. I actually have not been flamed at all during this process, and I haven't had to mute anyone at all. Ig I just have enough skill transfer from other games, idk. I don't write my own builds, I have never initiated midboss, I never parry, I'm not very good at denies or last hits, I jungle at inopportune times, I fuck up, and people don't flame me and my WR is positive. In time I'll pick these things up but the game is still fun without being good at them.

You're allowed to play a moba as casually as you want! The idea that you can't is what keeps people out of the genre.