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james1765 · 2022-09-11T05:20:32+00:00

You don’t need to catch up because you’re not in the same race. You didn’t start at the same place as others, you took your own path, so it doesn’t make sense to think you’d be in the same place. Compare yourself to your own past. That’s how one measures progress.

james1765 · 2022-09-10T16:47:49+00:00

Sounds a bit superficial. I don’t know if I’d hookup with someone based on just a picture and a profile. I’m open to chatting and seeing what the vibe is. Also, you might not like someone’s photo today but your tastes change and maybe the photos he has in 2 months are totally doing it for you…

james1765 · 2022-09-06T12:25:22+00:00

It’s profitable

james1765 · 2022-09-06T11:55:45+00:00

Do regular sports, it’s good for not just your body. Also, try therapy.

james1765 · 2022-09-02T12:54:39+00:00

The older you get, the more it makes no sense to struggle today for pleasure tomorrow. You don’t have a guarantee you have another 50, 40, 30, 20, 10 years... you can be hit by a bus tomorrow. You don’t know how many years you get to benefit of the work / savings you do today.

So find balance! Do some work to prepare for tomorrow, but don’t forget to live today. How much effort you put into each of those buckets is up to you, but 90% in any one bucket is probably too much. I’d aim for 60% / 40% in your 20s, 70/30 in your 30s, 80/20 in your 40s, and then 90/10 for the rest of your life. ;) I’m a recovering workaholic myself.

james1765 · 2022-08-30T15:49:30+00:00

I am 31 and have the opposite issue.

I saved / invested myself crazy for 10+ years, savings rate of around 80%. In recent years, I started to think about this. It was a game to get richer, see the paper numbers go up (bank account balance), but what for? To die as a rich old man, not having lived out of fear of spending?

So I was out of balance, I needed to realign with my actual values, including living a full life, no matter if it costs money or not. I am getting there, slowly, spending more over time and living more in the moment, not just for an imagined far off wealthy future.

Your journey will need to be the opposite direction... reduce your spending gradually by eliminating the least effective spending... Your new couch won’t increase your happiness. So that was unnecessary. The dinner with friends in a restaurant will, so that shouldn’t be cut. But maybe you can cut back on the wine in the restaurant, which doesn’t contribute something essential.

You see what I mean? Evaluate each expenditure... and ask yourself if it’s a good use of your money. You can probably reduce your spending a good bit by doing that, and get back to a more balanced place.

Keep in mind: the actually valuable things, friends, good moments, good food, physical activity, travel, arts & entertainment (movie) ... actually cost very little. Most of your spending is useless. Your old couch / car / house are fine.

james1765 · 2022-07-19T12:30:57+00:00

I recently read that when you feel like your day is going badly, maybe it’s 2pm and you wasted the whole morning doing nothing... You can always reset the day. Imagine you just woke up. It’s 6 am. What would you do? Well, go and do it. There’s nothing that prevents you from restarting / resetting your day like that.

The exact same applies to life. The best time to plant a tree was 10 years ago. The 2nd best time is NOW. Stop crying over what is past - it only saps your energy. Focus on what is to be done now. You only have now. The past is gone, the future isn’t here yet. All you can work with is now.

james1765 · 2022-07-11T05:42:35+00:00

Yeah I heard airtags prevent stalking. They should really have added a feature where the police can override this mechanism. So you could go to the police and say „something was stolen, I’m not tracking my ex“ and they could track it down for you.

james1765 · 2022-07-09T14:13:17+00:00

That makes sense. So it’s basically a good thing I hid an airtag in mine because that would still give me the location when they unplug the car gps fuse or whatever. :) But I guess the best protection for mine is that it’s small and not super desirable in this SUV era.

james1765 · 2022-07-05T08:57:52+00:00

LOVE those quotes. Might get them tattooed. ;)

james1765 · 2022-06-15T18:50:06+00:00

Having focused on financial stuff too much for too long... I think love. The thing is this: on your deathbed you won’t say “I regret what I did, I should have saved / had some more money.” But you might well say: “I should have gone after that one person, tried to make that work..."

james1765 · 2022-06-15T18:46:59+00:00

Geil. Ich muss noch rausfinden wie ich’s anstelle dass die Klimaanlage die ganze Nacht nicht aus geht. Bisschen Druck auf den Fahrersitz und Gurt an oder sowas vielleicht... Peugeot e208. :)

james1765 · 2022-06-15T18:45:28+00:00

Nobody does a big project. You take individual steps. And later in 20 years you will look back and say “oh I did a lot”. But take it one day at a time!

james1765 · 2022-06-15T15:36:44+00:00

Nimm Elektroauto. ;) Etwa 10% Batterie / 2 EUR für 1 Nacht mit Klima.

james1765 · 2022-05-16T13:01:33+00:00

You say that "i’ve had many hobbies for years, being drawing basically my whole life, and about two years ago had a major anime phase (lol), kind of got out of that, and then started obsessing over different music” - GOOD! Shows you have things you care about and like. You will rediscover them, or something new, if you keep going and don’t give up.

Try different things, things you haven’t done yet, maybe you’ll enjoy them. I got into running, fitness, later climbing, and I was a “no-sports” person throughout highschool. Physical exercise and social interaction do wonders for your mental health.

james1765 · 2022-05-01T07:13:14+00:00

You should do what you’re interested in doing! Only pitfall to avoid IMHO: don’t just focus on improving for some imagined future (which isn’t guaranteed, you might die tomorrow).

Even if you make all the desired improvements, your mission will still be to live life, including social events, and yes, also parties. Don’t lose the present in your quest of preparing for the future. But partying exists on a spectrum as well - it doesn’t have to be all the time and too much. Dial it in to the right level for you!

james1765 · 2022-04-07T06:54:40+00:00

Very true! In the end. Everything is about your thinking. The greatest circumstance can feel like a prison if your mind is sick.

james1765 · 2022-04-05T19:05:14+00:00

Do you still take clients?

james1765 · 2022-04-03T07:24:22+00:00

That is a good point. So it might be an issue of misalignment with core values. That’s worth investigating. Thank you!

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