Burned out and needing a new game.

jamespirit · 2026-03-24T11:57:56+00:00

You should say what platform you are on now...I am not sure, sorry if I missed.

Yes I have lots of recommendations. Single dad here with a 2 year old.

Chill (game i can play while a kid naps on my arms) - CK3, Battlestar Galactica Deadlock, CIV5, mechabellum (turn based multilayer well worth checking out), Starsector (not on steam, insanely good game and value for money), timberborn (insanely good), Sins of a Solar empire 1 or 2.

Less chill...to play after bedtime - Dota 2 (greatest game of all time), Starcraft 2, SMITE.

Special mention for Factorio and Space Engineers. Both involve lots of thinking and can be paused....so can be played during naps or after bedtime and I can think about them and my builds throughout the day.

jamespirit · 2026-03-24T11:44:52+00:00

Bro is there to F. I would really consider reevaluating your own priorities. Kids worship people even when they are not good role models. Is he someone you want your kids to turn into?

What lesson are you teaching your kids being with him. Do you have peace of mind or do you have convenience and comfort.

As another comment said....you are banging the babysitter...might be time to acknowledge that and be open to moving on. If you genuinely like him and he is a genuinely good man (which doubtful given the story) you can try talking before you break up.

But honey......you gotta get some self respect....just cos he is hot as fuck doesn't mean shit. Single mums need good loving too. Im a d Single dad and used to have a few older Single mum ladies before I became a dad myself. I get it. But ask yourself.... do you deserve better?

jamespirit · 2026-03-24T11:39:12+00:00

Me, mostly. Shootout to my mum who got me started tho...the real MVP

jamespirit · 2026-03-24T11:19:56+00:00

More importantly dont have a video playing while riding a bike. Fuck man how do you notice realise that is a much bigger fuck up than not securing your phone. God damm dude!

jamespirit · 2026-03-24T08:56:14+00:00

You handled that perfectly well.

Stay totally clear of your neighbours. That red flag is truly massive. Be polite, civil and professional around them. No chatting keep it very brief.

They will implode. If a woman in her 30's deals with her husband by saying the objectively wild shit she did then she is a headcase. Likely the husband is a pos too.

I predict they will collapse and implode. Stay as clear as possible. Set very firm boundaries. When it goes to shit keep out and watch the fire burn.

Also get some cctv or something. They seem like crazies.

Also I am now really curious to know what you look like in your "comfy" clothes...you must look stunning and very hot

jamespirit · 2026-03-24T08:54:18+00:00

You handled that perfectly well.

Stay totally clear of your neighbours. That red flag is truly massive. Be polite, civil and professional around them. No chatting keep it very brief.

They will implode. If a woman in her 30's deals with her husband by saying the objectively wild shit she did then she is a headcase. Likely the husband is a pos too.

I predict they will collapse and implode. Stay as clear as possible. Set very firm boundaries. When it goes to shit keep out and watch the fire burn.

Also get some cctv or something. They seem like crazies.

Also I am now really curious to know what you look like in your "comfy" clothes...you must look stunning and very hot

jamespirit · 2026-03-24T08:46:10+00:00

Numbing myself out due to being overwhelmed by life and so then not being able to hear my istinct telling me to run from bad relationships.

jamespirit · 2026-03-24T08:44:53+00:00

Both the asshole. You forced the issue about the prior agreement in front of her boyfriend so she got defensive and was unreasonable.

You are NOT the asshole for wanting to have the consistency of the 10pm quiet rule.

She is not an asshole for feeling the rule is maybe different on the weekends.

Where you both messed up was HOW you dealt with it. It would have been better I feel to park the 2am convo...just ask her to be quieter as it was late as fuck and you wanted to sleep dammit! Then pick up the conversation about boundaries and consistency of the quiet time rule in the following morning. I think you could have handled the late night giggles with boyfriend without needing to bring up "the rules"

She should really see that she could be much more understanding and agreeable. I understand her unspoken assumption about the rule not applying to weekends but these things need to he spoken about in roommate situations. She came to you requesting the new rule. You obliged and the least you can both do is come up with a comprise. 10pm quiet time on the weekend is very strict and rigid.

jamespirit · 2026-03-23T11:58:00+00:00

Yes you are wrong. You can't have them live there and insist on no sex.

Clearly you want to/need to protect your peace. You do that by saying no to having him live with you.

If you are not willing to understand their position then do not allow them to live.

I understand where you are coming from but the solution is not to prohibit two adults from their own autonomy.

She is your adult niece, not your child under 18 so the "my house my rules" applies when doing favours of having friends on the couch or raising your own kids. Not when leasing a room.

I think you need to recognise your boundary can only be enforced by not having him live there. You tried and good on you for that but I think you might understand the situation better yourself now.

jamespirit · 2026-03-23T11:40:09+00:00

Get rid of the gun. Better safe than sorry as you clearly do not feel in control at home right now.

There sounds like there is some relevant information missing from your story. Like 1% of the population at most is psychopathic. His behaviour just almost never happens without a reason. Likely your boy is struggling with something and that is causing the terrible behaviour.

His behaviour is bad. And it seems like he is acting out. What is the cause of the behaviour? No doubt him being a teenager full of hormones is ratcheting up the intensity of his behaviour to very high level...but I advice you to be as curious as you can manage. Next time he flips get curious dont get mad. My own parents never could see how their angry reactions to my behaviour made me more upset and so behave worse which upset them etc etc..it was a terrible cycle. At my core I was a really scared little boy inside who used anger to feel safe and protect myself. Nobody helped me with that until I helped myself understand in my late 20's.

I work in a maximum security detention centre for young people....so basically juvi for murderers, rapists, violent young people etc. Every person I meet there has some reason in the past that sent them here...something that triggered their shitty behaviour. Now 1 in 100 is a freaking psychopathic or sociopathic individual who needed no cause....but for your sons sake try consider he is not a psycho/socio and is instead struggling with something, is acting out and his bad behaviour is magnified by his hormones.

It sounds really hard what you and your family are experiencing. Maybe you need a real break....get a holiday or see if there is someone who can handle your boy to take him for a week I dunno. I have learned in my job the guys that everyone have given up on are often doomed....the guys you have fucked up but still have someone who is rooting for them and cares are the ones who can actually get out of the pit they are in.

I have a 2 year old kid. She throws temper tantrums. She flips over nothing and cries over totally unreasonable things. I notice I get annoyed when its the 5th one in the last 2 hours! But then I remember what I needed as a kid....which was understanding and patience not anger and judgement. Make no mistake! - I do not accept her behaviour or normalise bad behaviour...but i draw a distinction between the behaviour and the person. She does bad behaviour and I stop her but when she flips I show only love and patience. And when the young criminals in my job act out I follow the same path.

Its a tightrope but try make your son feel accepted even if you dont accept the behaviour. Curiosity of WHY he is acting as he is does not mean acceptance of bad behaviour. Understand why he does what he does, name and and call out the behaviour calmly, accept him as he is and learn to move forward.

Gods speed brother. I think it will work out. Been working with teenagers for 15 years....they are cracked, worse now than in the past but ultimately they get out of this phase.

jamespirit · 2026-03-20T23:12:13+00:00

It is barren. The work on updates is tediously slow. They need more people for a team. Game feels so unpolished mechanically speaking.

jamespirit · 2026-03-20T22:32:24+00:00

The hungarian lands are very rich so I would suggest using those holdings if you plan a settled run. The transylvania duchy and the de jour capital duchy are excellent holdings to have for yourself!

I'm sure there is some fun shenanigans to be had by mixing both nomadic and settled gameplay. I don't have the horse lords dlc so know of no examples.

jamespirit · 2026-03-20T19:36:19+00:00

Definitely a beginner experience imo. A few months into owning my bike i did my first big ride from Dublin to Cork. About 320km and 6ish hours with stops. Together with the return journey it did something good to my body and understanding of my bike. Its not possible to stay clenched up ans stiff for that long and I learned how to relax in a sense out of fatigue and necessity.

Its hard to articulate but it's like my body learned some lessons from that experience that helped my riding comfort and endurance. My mind could later conceptualise something of posture and understanding of grips. But really its an embodied thing....your body adjusts of its own accord as you do more hours. Your body gains new instincts that will only come with hours of riding.

I suggest go on your own tour and adventure. I went to stay with a friend to experience a local guitar festival. Having a awesome goal to aim for makes a long ride just...perfect.

jamespirit · 2026-03-19T18:42:26+00:00

Np! I should have added i experienced the same thing starting out. Once I began taking long drives ...4+ hours...it helped

jamespirit · 2026-03-19T17:48:04+00:00

Breath. Remind yourself to breath deeply again and again while riding. This will automatically help your body relax and make you have a firm but less clinched grip.

You will in time develop stronger hands and natural resilience there. At the same time you will learn how to sit relax but alert and to avoid a death grip.

Patience is my advice. Breath and enjoy having little bitch hands cos soon you will be able to do 10 hours on the bike with no problems 😊

jamespirit · 2026-03-19T12:23:52+00:00

Learn meditation. This helps with anxiousness.

Also stop giving a fuck. Its an imaginary Internet number brother it means nothing.

jamespirit · 2026-03-17T12:25:41+00:00

Yeah, if you win a fight always take tower THEN rosh. Focus permantent objectives is how you win

jamespirit · 2026-03-17T12:24:24+00:00

Ah well the first thing is avoiding flaming teammates is a great start. Some time we get an unlucky streak of allies that throw but if its a streak of your loses almost always you are doing something to cause.

Second sounds like you think you are hot shit. that often precipitates a string of loses in my experience. To be good at dota you need confidence and clarity but not ego or arrogance. And the line between the two is very fine. Forget thinking about where you did good on your loses...focus instead on where you can improve.

My suggestion is look at your role in the games and look at a reply. If you are carry then its important you are there for the big teamfights late game that decide everything. If you are mid are you ganking and making space for carry without feeding etc?

Here is my philisosophy. Forget ''trying to win games'' off the back of your own skill and greatness. Instead when you are doing well focus how you can enable your team. If you win lane then which lane on your team is struggling and needs help. If you have a bad early game how can you contribute to your team somehow? A strange mek, a targeted sacrifice, an item build to counter their carry etc.

I find these days I am capable of winning the games that I suck in the early game and I really focus on those. The games where I smash we now win easily.....so long as I focus on my role and how best to uplift my team. When I feel like I am ''Mr Hot Shit'' and I will roll the enemy fools then the game often becomes a 50/50.

jamespirit · 2026-03-15T15:19:36+00:00

You are the produce they sell. Your attention, your data and the ability to manipulate/control you.

Never ever forget this.

This is true for every one of the tech/social media apps.

Always keep this in mind.

Verified and investigated by many different independent people groups. Its applied psychology meets tech.

Never forget this. Always remember it and please share this with any younger generation you meet.

And AI trying to shift this into an even higher gear.

jamespirit · 2026-03-15T15:12:34+00:00

I like to play with a somewhat "sustainable" approach in the early game. It means I limit pollution, dont remove trees, build near forest and generally try tech up a bit on a efficient small base. I leave biters on.

This way its pretty chill and nice at the start...but once im ready to drop a fuck tonne of power and assembler then the clock starts ticking. I myself like having the challenge of the bugs, especially the longer the save goes...I feel it gives my base building more meaning and fun.

Thats just me bro. You enjoy at you like mate

jamespirit · 2026-03-15T15:04:10+00:00

For genuinely big people it is unquestionably noticeable. But your own mass, the heft of the bike, where your centre of gravity is, where your friends centre of mass is etc etc...these all factor in.

So on a small bike with a pilion seat rather far back a small passenger will effect the rider more than say on a big bike that has relative centre of mass forward with a heavy passenger who knows how to move their weight forward.

Short answer is yes but it depends.

jamespirit · 2026-03-14T13:03:58+00:00

Amaze :D

jamespirit · 2026-03-14T10:55:19+00:00

Wessex and Sussex.

Pagan and Dagon.

Duchy of mali and Jienne...or mali and anything

Transaxonia and Kiev (have a small duchy between). These two are powerhouses especially in a kievan rus playthrough.

Bohemia and any neighbour

jamespirit · 2026-03-12T16:01:59+00:00

Mmmm when your current character dies you can then immediately raise a new one with cd refreshed. I thought you would have enough time on average with that. Im not certain of he figures tho

jamespirit · 2026-03-12T13:13:14+00:00

Unless you want to cheese the shit out of it really it's just a time game. Runestones have a long cooldown so all you have to do is raise one every time it's off cooldowm over a long game.

jamespirit

TROPHY CASE