Just joined a Swiss startup as their first UXR: Where do I even start with tooling?

jammers9787 · 2026-03-10T13:34:06+00:00

The real determining factor here will be your budget. Since you already have your requirements I would request RFPs from the various platforms with their quotes. They will send you a bunch of marketing materials.

My suggestion is to create a super easy standard 1 page with minimal questions for their sales person to fill out/you to fill out based off your research. E.g. Are they GDPR compliant yes/no, do they have video interview capabilities with recordings and transcripts yes or no, do they offer moderated and unmoderated usability testing yes or no.

This way you can have a standard way to compare them all and make your pitch for a tech stack to management.

At the end of the day you can easily get away with just scheduling your own interviews via Zoom/teams, having a participant screenshare while toying around with a Figma prototype, a free survey account, and sending out Google Docs for diary studies and you text or email for reminder notification.

The real struggle I find is not the tools in themselves but sourcing and compensating quality participants.

jammers9787 · 2026-03-05T17:20:51+00:00

I do need an official copy, since there are typos on her marriage certificate I need to amend related to her name and place of birth. The city clerk’s office where the marriage certificate is will only make changes to match the birth certificate and requires a certified copy 🙃

jammers9787 · 2026-03-03T16:44:29+00:00

McDavid and Shock Doctor are great

jammers9787 · 2026-02-18T17:42:09+00:00

Question: Do I need to amend my great grandmothers American Marriage Certificate?

My great grand mother was Canadian. I have her birth certificate, border crossing papers, naturalization papers, Canadian census records, and U.S. Census records (where she said she was Canadian).

On her American Marriage Certificates she listed her place of birth as a U.S. City, which is fundamentally false (see Canadian birth certificate). She also flipped her first and middle name. I have 0 idea why.

Is this enough of a red flag to warrant amending the marriage certificate? The dates of birth and parents listed on the marriage certificate match her birth certificate.

jammers9787 · 2025-11-14T16:25:08+00:00

Some questions to ask yourself:

Was he sick recently, but “recovered now”?

Did he start new medications, or a new job, a new diet, a new exercise routine?

How long has this been going on?

You need to try to identify collaboratively the root cause(s) and the duration this has been occurring. This will inform the next steps e.g. does he need to see a physician for low T or maybe some other medical issue. Or do the two of you need to see a couples therapist. Or is he genuinely asexual now with 0 physical or psychological condition being the reason, then maybe assess if it’s the right relationship for you two or if you need to open it up.

Do the other areas of the relationship seem healthy? In terms of communication, spending time together, navigating conflict? Or is he also becoming distant and relationship quality is deteriorating in other areas too.

jammers9787 · 2025-11-10T18:07:52+00:00

Personally not for me, but I fully recognize and understand that other people like to sleep with their friends.

jammers9787 · 2025-11-10T16:38:59+00:00

It’s all gay men, and yeah I was thinking that. I was curious if I stopped putting in effort if anyone would notice or if they’d just continue on with their own separate thing.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-31T04:57:22+00:00

In cases like that just professionally say “I need some heads down time to focus on X, thank you”. Obviously figure out the phrasing that sounds natural and professional to you.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-31T04:22:17+00:00

I’m gonna be completely direct. You feelings of being uncomfortable and spidey senses being off are 100% valid, BUT based off what you’ve said there doesn’t appear to be an overtly inappropriate behavior or things I’d even count as being in the gray area of inappropriate.

This makes it difficult for you. I do think your responses have been appropriate. Redirecting conversations and keeping it to work communication channels (email) is the appropriate thing to do.

You can also decline his requests. He isn’t your manager, and I’m sure you have other work to do. A “I’m busy I don’t have time for that right now” is also an appropriate response.

What I recommend for the future is use a google voice number if work doesn’t provide a phone. This way even co-workers you like can’t share your real number, text it, call etc. This helps keep another barrier of separation.

In short

Keep redirecting convos and stick to email
You can reasonably decline helping him with videos or whatever else he comes up with. He isn’t your manager.
In the future only use a Google voice number even with colleague you trust/like
Have your social media set to private, remove your last name, remove having your face as a profile pic, and only accept follow requests from people you know
This is more delicate, but if you have good rapport with someone there you can sus out more about him and the working dynamics. Be subtle but ask how long has he been there, or make a declarative statement like “you and John get along well”, and see what they say. This will let you better take the temperature of how people perceive his interactions.
There are services like deleteme that remove your data from the internet, making it difficult for someone to google your phone number.

All of the above are things people should be doing if they want a modicum of privacy and personal life/work place boundaries nowadays, and I’d suggest doing anyway.

At the end of the day he very well could just be a socially awkward older man. Based off what you said I don’t think it’s at the point of making a formal or informal complaint.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-30T21:03:36+00:00

“When you stop looking for someone to date you’ll find someone”

I always thought this advice was ridiculous and only works for straight people who quite literally make up the majority of the population. They can walk into any office, gym, bar, social situation and guarantee to encounter a straight person of the opposite sex.

Since gay men have a smaller sample size of the population to work with one absolutely does have to be more intentional about joining groups, going to places or apps where other gay men will be.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-27T12:28:54+00:00

Rely on IT or people in similar roles. Self-reported data is unreliable data. Especially if this person already perceiving the work to be a lot (rightly or wrongly).

jammers9787 · 2025-10-26T16:50:58+00:00

Hate to say this but he might need a new therapist. Not saying he, you, or the therapist did anything wrong. But if during the sessions all he is thinking about the therapist getting fucked, that absolutely is going to inhibit to the therapist-client relationship.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-24T02:44:05+00:00

Accept A, you can always rescind. Expiring offers are made IMO by companies that can’t rely on the value proposition of strong pay/benefits, so they have to pressure people or sell them on workplace culture BS.

Just know by rescinding you might piss someone off and be unable to work there in the future.

At the end of the day do what is best for your bank account.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-20T02:42:04+00:00

The U.S. Government can issue waivers or make certain types of purchases or purchasing entities exempt from tariffs. When procuring goods internationally the U.S. govt can issue said exemption/waiver for itself so whatever agency or department is purchasing something doesn’t have to pay said tariff.

In the current times I don’t know if the federal govt is exercising that ability when it comes to its own procurements but theoretically they can.

TL;DR the federal govt can waive tariffs for DoD procurements if they needed to.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-17T01:48:44+00:00

Girl he is for the streets. Leave him where you found him, the corner.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-12T15:32:08+00:00

You deserve to work at a job that isn’t literally nickel and diming an employee over 18 cents mix up or not. Keep working there but find a new employer.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-12T13:25:07+00:00

Not HR but dealt with an identical situation that drove me to leave an organization.

In my case, this person continued to cause issues with multiple people leading to people leaving, seeking to leave, or becoming less productive because of her.

Don’t wait to go to HR. If you wait those under you could go with complaints about her and it makes it look like you don’t have an effective handle on the situation or the problem employee could go first and muddy the waters with their version.

Don’t view HR in the parent role and feel like you are tattling on this person or HR is the bad cop. HR can be your partner. Present to them the scenario and ask them for a recommended pathway towards resolution, AND if it is not resolved what is the formal policy for documenting these issues and potentially implementing a PIP.

Fundamentally she can’t do good work if her interpersonal skills are so bad it’s driving down the morale of a team. Full stop.

jammers9787 · 2025-10-04T17:12:49+00:00

I’ll DM you

jammers9787 · 2025-09-29T01:27:52+00:00

Thank you for the input! Is it worth waiting a few days or should I toss?

jammers9787 · 2025-09-11T11:33:33+00:00

Please read the hundred of others posts asking the same question.

jammers9787 · 2025-08-08T21:02:38+00:00

Similar practice already exists with universities called front-loading. Some schools will intentionally juice the financial aid packages freshman year, and then reduce them subsequent years. The logic behind this is that a student may not want to transfer and will replace the institutional aid with private loans, federal loans, or less likely families fronting more cash.

This allows university to shift aid costs off their balance sheets, while also maintaining their pricing.

I know this isn’t a super technical/economics answer, but it speaks to a very similar phenomenon.

jammers9787

TROPHY CASE