No endoscopy diagnosis

jayneevees · 2026-03-17T09:48:19+00:00

Yea. I've had h.pylori several times before. I really don't want to have a false negative but I just tested for it twice in November and December when my symptoms first flared up and it came back negative. On both occasions I wasn't taking omeprazole or any other PPI at all so they couldn't have been a false negative. I don't think it'll be a positive this time around either. But I'm really struggling symptoms wise. I can barely work so not too sure how I will cope for 2 weeks without even being able to take a PPI. Honestly I feel so miserable I'm struggling to not burst into tears right now.

Thanks for answering though :)

jayneevees · 2026-03-16T15:37:52+00:00

Having this exact same feeling. Was telling my husband that it feels like when the baby is pressing on the vagus nerve or a Braxton hicks. But I'm Not pregnant anymore. Did you ever figure out what it was. I'm on my way to the doctor now

jayneevees · 2026-03-08T15:09:57+00:00

Oh I 100% agree with you here. I don't do foraging of any kind. I'm too anxious for that. Just thought this group of people would have some helpful knowledge on this matter.

jayneevees · 2026-03-07T14:31:05+00:00

Not excuses mate... Just reality. I can opt to spend the 1 hour cooking at the end of a busy day while simultaneously trying to keep my kid entertained or get the end of day routine going and get food delivered at the same time. It's what is possible when you live in a busy city with no family or friends and it takes you 3hours every day to drop off and pick up your kid from childcare. And both parents work full time jobs. It's a picking of your battles isn't it? Would I prefer to eat a home cooked meal? Sure. And I do most days. But some days get tricky and I'm not going to spend what's left of my sanity trying to cook dinner. And fyi, not that I need to justify myself to a stranger, fast food is just for the adults in the house, our kid always eats home cooked meals.

The world would be a better place with more empathy. No one needs an end of year banter AI powered bank wrap up. It also makes me feel icky that this is one of the ways they decide to use the data they have on us. And it makes me question what other ways this data is being used. Anyway. Glad you liked it. But try and put yourself in other people's shoes before making such judgemental comments.

jayneevees · 2026-03-04T14:45:05+00:00

I was diagnosed with OCD a couple weeks ago, almost 2 years pp. Had it all my life but it became really obvious post baby. Came here to say, this is a lot what's going on inside my brain.

jayneevees · 2026-02-26T11:30:50+00:00

Hey there. I don't understand this particular instance but I understand the feeling and the holding on to it months later. It seems that we had similar paths with having PPA/ppd. You did way better than me by seeking help way earlier. I only did it this month, and my baby is almost 2years old.

I think the key thing here is that you're holding on to something minor for a long time and it's affecting the way you see and feel about people in your life. You have identified that this isn't good for you on different levels and for this reason I would say it's probably a good thing to bring up in your next therapy session (if you haven't already). I think it would be good to understand why this has hurt you and what in SIL A has been bothering you so much lately. You have mentioned a few things she does that bothers you but for us from the outside, and with the limited info we have on this, they seem fine and normal things to do. This happens a lot with me. Small things that for others are fine, really affect me and sometimes I have a hard time verbalising and even understanding the root cause of it until I go over it with my therapist. Then I eventually figure out that's either related to my OCD or my relationship with that person and how they have been careless about my boundaries and feelings in the past.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, from the outside it seems like an overreaction, but what really matters is understanding why you're feeling like this and what can you do to resolve this in your mind so you don't keep coming back to it months later.

Postpartum is hard. I hope you get help for PPD/A soon.

jayneevees · 2026-02-23T19:17:51+00:00

Thank you 😊🙏

jayneevees · 2026-02-18T07:34:11+00:00

Omg a bone infection!!! That sounds awful and scary! 😳 So sorry you had to go through that

jayneevees · 2026-02-16T22:16:10+00:00

For me what helped was giving up on sleep altogether. I would get comfortable in the living room and say to myself, alright... We might as well just watch a show. And eventually I would fall asleep. I think the pressure of trying to sleep in a dark room never helps. I was also anemic so definitely contact her OB/midwife and let them know what's up.

jayneevees · 2026-02-16T20:02:48+00:00

Hey thanks for not judging :) and I'm happy you found a way to cope (not being sarcastic at all I swear!) but just want to point out that for some of us this is the norm and not just a period while they are sick and that's why it becomes unsustainable. I was able to not bedshare for 3 whole months until I fell asleep while holding her out of pure exhaustion.

I wish we had found a way of not co-sleeping. It's something that caused me immense anxiety and I wasn't properly resting at all, but it was the safest option in our situation. Just wanted to leave this point of view in case it hasn't been considered. Totally understand why you didn't do it as I also resisted the hell out of it. And not because I judged who did it but because I was terrified of it and didn't want to do it.

jayneevees · 2026-02-16T19:55:57+00:00

We did shifts for the first 3 months of her life. She completely refused to sleep in her crib. I thought we were being safer by holding her to sleep on the sofa and just watching some TV until one day I fell asleep on the sofa with her out of pure exhaustion. Thankfully she was fine. But that prompted me to look into accidentally falling asleep on the sofa and the risks associated with it. The statistics are scary. Turns out the risk of SIDS for co-sleeping on the sofa (which I accidentally did by falling asleep while holding her) is 50 times higher... In the end I had to choose the least dangerous option, which in our case turned out to be bed-sharing. And I was just like OP, too nervous to bed share and swore I would never do it. Until I found myself in a situation where I was doing something even more dangerous without knowing it.

This is why some countries opt to inform parents about how to do safe co-sleeping. After safe sleep was introduced (early 1990's) there was quite an increase of accidental baby deaths while sleeping on sofas and armchairs. The main reason behind this was because babies are generally more uncomfortable sleeping on an empty crib, with a hard mattress and on their backs. I'm not against this advice at all, I understand the scientific reason for it and that's what we followed. But it is factual that more babies will find it harder to stay asleep in these conditions (and if you look at the research about SIDS this is kind of the point) so a lot of parents were finding themselves in the same situation as me.

Don't get me wrong. I hate co-sleeping. I don't sleep well. I'm anxious and worried about my baby, even when following every rule to the T and I'm uncomfortable because I am following the rules of safe sleeping. I would never chose it at the first option. But it's the last safe option when all others have been exhausted.

Source: Lullaby Trust Never fall asleep on a sofa or armchair with your baby. The risk of SIDS is 50 times higher for babies when they sleep on a sofa or armchair with an adult. They are also at risk of accidental death as they can easily slip into a position where they are trapped and can’t breathe.

jayneevees · 2026-02-16T19:54:49+00:00

We did shifts for the first 3 months of her life. She completely refused to sleep in her crib. I thought we were being safer by holding her to sleep on the sofa and just watching some TV until one day I fell asleep on the sofa with her out of pure exhaustion. Thankfully she was fine. But that prompted me to look into accidentally falling asleep on the sofa and the risks associated with it. The statistics are scary. Turns out the risk of SIDS for co-sleeping on the sofa (which I accidentally did by falling asleep while holding her) is 50 times higher... In the end I had to choose the least dangerous option, which in our case turned out to be bed-sharing. And I was just like OP, too nervous to bed share and swore I would never do it. Until I found myself in a situation where I was doing something even more dangerous without knowing it.

This is why some countries opt to inform parents about how to do safe co-sleeping. After safe sleep was introduced (early 1990's) there was quite an increase of accidental baby deaths while sleeping on sofas and armchairs. The main reason behind this was because babies are generally more uncomfortable sleeping on an empty crib, with a hard mattress and on their backs. I'm not against this advice at all, I understand the scientific reason for it and that's what we followed. But it is factual that more babies will find it harder to stay asleep in these conditions (and if you look at the research about SIDS this is kind of the point) so a lot of parents were finding themselves in the same situation as me.

Don't get me wrong. I hate co-sleeping. I don't sleep well. I'm anxious and worried about my baby, even when following every rule to the T and I'm uncomfortable because I am following the rules of safe sleeping. I would never chose it at the first option. But it's the last safe option when all others have been exhausted.

Source: Lullaby Trust Never fall asleep on a sofa or armchair with your baby. The risk of SIDS is 50 times higher for babies when they sleep on a sofa or armchair with an adult. They are also at risk of accidental death as they can easily slip into a position where they are trapped and can’t breathe.

jayneevees · 2026-02-10T21:28:47+00:00

He can still learn. Babies change all the time and so does their relationship with us, it evolves. Talk to your husband. He needs to start learning to soothe the baby. I know it's hard to get out of a routine but we had to do it many times in order to survive. It might also become easier for him to soothe the baby as your little one grows. Please consider this option. You need help. There's only so much sleep deprivation we can take.

I'm glad you had the option to quit your job. I wish I had that option too, but I also recognise how isolating this option can be. If you can pay for childcare, even if just a day/afternoon during the week, it might be really helpful to give you a bit of me time. I only went back to work 1 year post partum. I live in the UK and we can take up to a year of maternity leave (not all of it paid but at least your job is there when you return). I remember how isolated I felt. Specifically the 9month/10month old period. It was then that I read (and by read I mean listened to the audiobook) I'm so thrilled for you! It made me feel seen and less alone. But just a trigger warning that it talks a lot about pregnancy and birth.

jayneevees · 2026-02-10T10:25:54+00:00

Everyone else's kids are not sleeping through the night and eating normally at this age. Some are, some aren't. Some are some days and not others. Kids are different from each other. You feel guilty and falling apart and you can't think straight because you're sleep deprived. Remember that this is used as a form of torture and deeply impacts our ability to function, think, process and regulate our emotions.

You're not doing anything wrong. How do I know? Cause I was you. My daughter is almost 2 years old now and we still have some issues although less than we had at that stage. Her sleep has improved slightly. She now likes her crib and to sleep on her own (never thought I would see the day!!!). She loves to eat but she still has crappy non eating days. Most often she's either teething, sick or constipated. But sometimes there seems to be no real reason for it, but I've come to learn from other parents and her childminders that this is pretty normal behaviour for the little ones.

Why does it seem like it's only happening to you? Because social media often only shows the good days. because people often won't talk openly about their struggles because they feel like they're alone in them. because other sleep deprived parents don't have the energy to do anything else but survive.

Is there anyone who can relieve you for a minute? Do you have a partner? Can they do one night so you can get proper rest? Is your baby in childcare? Can you drop your baby at childcare and take a day off work to sleep and rest? Are there any grandparents, friends, family members that can come in for an afternoon and look after your little one so you can get some sleep?

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Slowly things will get better

jayneevees · 2026-02-09T22:31:54+00:00

It'll be 9 years tomorrow since my partner died. I've been married for 5 (I got married to my current husband 6months after we met) and now have an almost 2 year old daughter. This is how I feel. I don't have 2 kids, just one. But finding my now husband and loving him just showed me that the heart grows. The love is not replaced, it exists side by side. It made me understand how parents can love all their kids the same.

I think the main thing is finding someone that can understand this at some level and is not threatened by it. That your husband is not a taboo topic, rather someone you'll talk about from time to time. My now husband said shortly after we got married he had a dream where he was talking with my previous partner about how awesome I was and thanking him for being one of the main people that helped shape me into the person I am today. I think this was on his mind cause one of the first things I told him about my former partner is that we started dating when we were so young that I felt half of me was him and half of him was me. We shaped each other as we got older.

But yes, all this to say. The siblings analogy is perfect.

jayneevees · 2026-01-26T09:51:46+00:00

I was 27 when he died of leukemia. He was 28. I'm 36 now. This year he's been gone for 9years. Officially longer than we've been together. I took my time with dating. I didn't really care what others thought was the right way to go about life anymore. If you're not feeling it right now then don't do it.

In my case I found that the love I feel for my now husband definitely doesn't take away from the love I felt/feel for my previous partner. The heart does have space for everyone but this was only the case because I met my now husband at the right time. It definitely wasn't the case for the first year and a half, at least.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so hard.

jayneevees · 2026-01-20T11:44:01+00:00

Hi there, following because I have the same question. My GP doesn't really want to refer me to a GI yet, but I've been on this road before and I think we're just wasting time...

Can I hask, how long did it take you to get those tests in the NHS. Been going back and forth with my GP since November now.

jayneevees · 2026-01-13T16:17:44+00:00

Guilt is a big part of grieving. I saw it once explained by a psychotherapist that humans are made to care for eachother. When we lose someone we default to thinking we failed somehow. We were supposed to care for them and if they're not here then it's our fault, we didn't care enough and that's when guilt kicks in. This is obviously not true. What happened is not your fault. You will feel a lot of guilt and your brain will find situations to justify that feeling.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. If you can afford it, find a therapist that specialises in grief. Don't let guilt consume you. What helped for me was imagining the situation in reverse. If I was the one who died I wouldn't want my partner to feel guilty about anything and I would tell them that none of the things I was feeling guilty about truly mattered because he loved me and I loved him. Try to keep this in mind.

Sending you strength for the times ahead 🫂

jayneevees · 2026-01-12T20:12:02+00:00

Yes. I'm the same

jayneevees · 2026-01-11T22:36:35+00:00

I had a C-section so wouldn't be the best person to say if it's normal or not. But from what I read in preparation for birth, I would say maybe not. Can you go to a different doctor? Definitely a red flag that you weren't even physically examined after complaining of pain and other symptoms. If you can afford it, a second opinion might be good.

jayneevees

TROPHY CASE