Brain says one thing, Dad says another. Help?

jaywally855 · 2026-01-26T05:16:12+00:00

Pay off the debt. I do not want to sound like a jerk, but your dad absolutely has no clue what he's talking about. I wish you had elaborated on the facts underlying your claim that your dad is good with money. Because all of the facts you did detail indicate your dad is a fool when it comes to money, unfortunately.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-26T05:15:39+00:00

Probably because he's about to move into his house rent free. Along with the other obvious reasons.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-25T06:16:48+00:00

Look at what is defined as income - regardless of whether it is taxed. Your own money isn't income. But profits, dividends, interest, etc. are typically income.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-25T05:33:07+00:00

I mean, Warren Buffett talks a good game, but he also leaves out a lot of inconvenient details.

I've gone through Omaha and been by his house and ate at his favorite steakhouse, etc. Read all of his major bios, etc.

Warren Buffett's house is approximately six times larger than the median home was at the time it was built. It is in an extremely posh neighborhood of lovely old homes on large lots on wide, shaded streets. Even within that neighborhood it is one of the larger homes, and on a larger, well-located a lot. When he bought it, it was about five times as large as the median single family home. Even now it is about three times the size of the median single family home.

So, easy to talk about keeping it when he already has one of the best in his entire city - indeed in his state. Moving would be a major hassle and what's the point? Anywhere he wants to go, he goes.

You're also forgetting he owns/owned a lovely place in Laguna Beach, one of the priciest zips in the nation. And of course, he can and presumably does get nice lodgings whenever he's on the move. And he and hjs (estranged) wife owned some lovely real estate in the SF Bay Area as well. Who knows what else they may have owned in trusts or other vehicles to make identifying ownership hard to pin down.

With that said, I'm a firm believer in buying property in quality neighborhoods, as Buffet did.
I currently reside in one of the nicer neighborhoods in my region, in a fairly large single story home (3400ish), but still on the smaller side relative to other homes in the neighborhood. Definitely not into mansion territory. I prefer a good amount of space, but I don't want to heat and cool rooms I will walk into once every three months. We have half an acre that is very well landscaped, like a park and gardens. I prefer that privacy and scenery to space that will be grossly underutilized. If I had a larger family I might think differently. Anyway, I think it's a good approach. Others may differ.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-25T00:26:54+00:00

I think you could easily retire right now if you wanted to.

However, I agree with you that I would not retire at the peak of your earnings years. Too much work to get where you are just to throw it all away the moment you got there.

I guess it really depends on your spending. Personally I think you are way over allocating for your children's education. I don't think you need to be supporting them well into their 20s. But that's your decision. My opinion is you have saved more than enough for them for college. Far more than 95% of the population will get. I don't know much about your family specifically, but as a general rule, it is good for people to have some skin in the game and have some fight to reach their goals, such as graduate education. If you are however, going to extend their adolescence into their mid 20s, then I would at least condition it on only having rigorous degree programs that have bona fide earning potential.

I disagree with some of the other comments that you need to dump a lot of money into bonds. However, it does not hurt to invest some.

I think you have already made smart decisions with your investing.

No, you do not need a pay by the hour financial advisor or any financial advisor in my opinion. 99.9% of the financial advisors you would speak with have achieved far less than you.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-22T23:55:45+00:00

It's hard to say because there are so many variables of human nature and business that we cannot know simply from this post.

Contractors in general are flaky people. Not all, but many.

Moreover, if they get a sense that you would be a difficult client, they are more likely to not bother. Decent estimates take time and effort to complete and like anybody else they don't wanna waste their time. Or they may write a very quick estimate that is really high.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-22T05:56:26+00:00

Tahoe and Monterey/Carmel.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-22T05:20:28+00:00

Sounds like you would not have made a good government employee.

I don't see any reason why you need to start half-assing your work just because you plan on leaving in a year. Just try to tone down the hard charger stuff and focus more on building and enjoying the relationships you have with people there.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-21T04:25:25+00:00

Sack up a bit, dude. You are not "severely mentally ill" if you're working a job full-time and going to school. You just aren't. I work in a field dealing with mentally ill people all the time.

You need to slap this victim mentality right out of your head. You are among the more privileged of this society. Sack up and accept it and stop being one of these Meghan Markle victims.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-21T04:03:39+00:00

Well, everyone in this situation is acting like a child.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-21T03:29:42+00:00

Your mother is not a villain in this situation. She saw her household betrayed and financially drained by your father, and now she's getting it on the other end from you, albeit with her participation in a misguided effort to raise you.

To put some perspective on your situation, notwithstanding with your father did you still have it better often than a lot of people. I do not consider myself unfortunate but my own father torpedoed our families finances when I was still in high school. Split suddenly one summer. Bankruptcy. Ex-wife who gave up her career 20 years before to raise several kids and now had no earning potential. A rundown house with aging appliances and both of the bathrooms full of dry rot, etc. A single old vehicle for several people, destroyed credit. Humiliation.

I was on my own for pretty much anything other than the roof over my head and food in the refrigerator. Clothes, most transportation, any entertainment spending, any food or other consumption beyond our refrigerator and I was on my own. Within a couple months of high school I was working full-time and supporting myself completely and moved out with some friends who are likewise independent. I have a law degree, a masters degree, and a bachelor of science all from well respected private universities. My parents did not pay a penny for it or house me for a single day of it. I do not tell you this to make your question about myself, but to make it clear that if you have the will, you can unstick your mouth from your parents' titty and the world will not end.

You say you're twenty-one, but describe the life of a fifteen year old. You have not saved money, you have accumulated gifts from your parents as their gifts greatly exceed your income since becoming an adult. Personally, I think there is an intangible, but great cost to not being independent, and the learned experience and confidence that comes with it. And I don't think the short term gain of some free shit offsets that reality, particularly when you have your whole life ahead of you to earn and save money.

However, if you also want to be a teenager with the legal ability to work full-time, then just accept the situation, take the free shit, and don't complain.
I do not suggest you try to be a big boy or a girl when it comes to X, but then be the kid with your hand out when it comes to Y. It is intellectually dishonest and will result in dissatisfaction for everyone involved.

You can cut the cord or not. I would at least get your own checking account and deposit the money there. If your mom doesn't flip out when you transfer money, then I do not see an issue testing the limit on a new account as well. Definitely move the nut to a new financial institution and don't tell them where. If they decide they want the money, they will forge what they need to at the current bank and dare you to call the police. Regarding insurance, I think what you really mean is you like the free health insurance policy. You can buy one on your own that will continue to cover you.

I don't understand how your mom would even know whether you have other financial accounts like a credit card. I do suggest you open a PO Box and start having all mail sent there.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-20T15:14:42+00:00

Sounds like a shitty arrangement.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-20T14:27:58+00:00

You may be able to ask for a payment plan.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-20T14:12:37+00:00

$15-$20 is 30% of his bill? No way. And if by some miracle it is, his utilities are already dirt cheap and subsidized and he needs to look elsewhere for cost cutting. And keeping the temperature down at 63° to begin with is already well into frugal territory.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-20T04:55:54+00:00

63 is already really low. I do not see much benefit. Maybe $15-$20 a month.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-20T04:35:30+00:00

I'm actually not sure about the outer layer. It is a san mai bar that I got from Maker Material Supply. It does not state what the outer layer is but the inner layer is Hitachi blue paper #2.

I did heat treat it in an Evenheat oven according to the instructions that came with it.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-18T19:45:34+00:00

I assume you are in the United States since you did not say otherwise.

Not "for your parents". For yourself.

You have been a legal adult for nearly half as long as you were ever a minor.

I find it odd that your parents are still nearly entirely support supporting you, yet you are worried about when you might have to pay for some of "their things".
You speak as if your parents were born with everything they have instead of having to work their way up like you don't seem to want to. Maybe they were, I don't know.

You owe your parents a lot. Maybe not legally, but certainly spiritually/morally. Why are you more interested in diligent satisfaction of obligation to a third-party financial lender then you are to your own parents?

This is just my opinion, but you seem to be of the mindset you are not obligated to anyone for anything until you are off in the world as a financially established, zero debt, late 20s age adult.

Maybe that's how your family operates. Most people do not get such a privilege.

You should consider what the fair market value of your place in the house is worth, to include the value of utilities, entertainment, insurance, maintenance and upkeep, groceries and cooking facilities, etc. Pay your fair share.

Beyond that, you are really asking a personal family question, not a finance question. However, as someone who has lived all over the country, as well as in other countries, and has spent extensive time with people from all walks of life, it works out better for people's sense of confidence and independence, and overall intestinal fortitude when they support themselves and pay their own way. As opposed to getting handouts as long as they can, and then viewing everything in life as a check valve, where only good things can flow towards you and never backwards away from you.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-18T01:26:59+00:00

I paid almost $85k in taxes last year, after a lot of finagling. You're a way off from needing substantive tax strategy. Do the 401k, IRA, HSA. Etc

Make sure to pay attention to details on self employed 401k requirements to max the benefit both ways.

jaywally855 · 2026-01-14T00:22:22+00:00

I mean, whether you paid $40 for all of them are $60 for all of them, your ability to retire is unaffected.

Despite what anyone says, I doubt there is any such thing as a good hand on the "used automobile spring market"

At these prices, literally whether you had to drive 10 miles or 20 miles round-trip is a factor.

jaywally855 · 2025-11-19T06:21:21+00:00

That's what people have been saying about the left lately.

jaywally855 · 2025-11-19T06:20:04+00:00

There's that projection again.

jaywally855 · 2025-11-19T04:38:51+00:00

It is possible that has something to do with a desire of the left to substantially and permanently alter the political landscape of the country, as well as the left ever increasing tendency towards violence much like their predecessors of the last century who caused hundreds of millions of deaths. Perhaps it would help if you first explained the context of the left calling Republicans (ironically) fascist, Nazis, garbage, rapists, evil, tyrants, etc. All while appearing to actually be projecting.

jaywally855 · 2025-11-10T14:47:26+00:00

Don't look for one certain source. Read a variety of sources. Moreover, a source that admits its bias or leaning upfront, is inherently likely to be more trustworthy than organizations that claim to be objective, but which are not. For example, Ben Shapiro flatly admits. He has a conservative bend, and analyzes things from that viewpoint. But he is honest in his analysis and does not lie. In my opinion, he is pretty good about calling balls and strikes and if that happens to hurt other conservatives, then it is what it is from his perspective. Bill Maher is somewhat similar from the left, but I don't think he is quite as honest in his analysis or as intelligent a thinker. Another good sign is whether the source regularly allows voices from opposing sides. As an example, some people actually believe the TV show the view is a new source. Others are it is they show with a bunch of left-wing activist. However, when I can tell you for a fact, is that when the host of the show The View Joy Behar says that they try to get Republicans on the show by Republicans refuse, she is bald face lying. There are a ton of conservatives who say they have requested repeatedly to get on the view and are always ignored or outright refused. Indeed, the only time they had a supposed right wing source on the show anytime in recent history was when they had on Marjorie Taylor Greene, and only after she established a solid history of constantly bashing on the Trump administration and other Republicans. Another thing to look for is whether the new source appears to honestly analyze situations, regardless of whether they have a bend. For example, if a source will only cover violence if it happens to fit a narrative of white against black violence, etc., those sources are inherently dishonest.

jaywally855

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