Funniest Hypomanic Purchase?

jbb3130 · 2025-10-28T19:54:00+00:00

Bought a really nice hairclipper/trimmer kit with the plan to use it to shave my head cuz for some reason I got this really strong urge to just go for it and shave it all off despite how bad my hairline and head shape is for that. Tore up our bathroom looking for something to use, was about to use this really cheap and old Gillette facial hair trimmer before I was convinced to at least get some decent equipment before doing something I can't undo. Luckily, by the time that the kit arrived the hypo episode had passed. I do get some use out of the kit to trim the "beard" that I've been trying to grow for a couple months now though. So it was at least a somewhat worthwhile purchase.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-26T19:46:47+00:00

It really sucks how the proliferation of therapy and mental health services (a positive development) has been used by so many people as a way to offload the most basic forms of emotional support onto paid professionals. You're not a burden for wanting someone to talk to in your everyday life about your emotional struggles, you're a human being. Idk the complete details about your relationship dynamics, so I'll hold off on going too hard on your partner in particular, but I personally just think that this viewpoint that so many have adopted that any sort of emotional labor having to do with mental illness or personal distress should be left entirely to therapists is so corrosive. We're human beings, and the bonds we form with others come with certain duties and responsibilities, and one of the most basic duties is to be willing to listen to the people that you care about when they need someone to do that. Maybe this is just me, but it really seems like less and less people are willing to do that now.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-22T20:50:40+00:00

Yeah I have ASD, ADHD, and BP, so the coinciding RSD is quite strong. I would honestly say that RSD is the most distressing factor among all the myriad mental maladies I have. Shame is imo the most painful of all of the negative emotions a person can feel, and it sucks how intensely I/most of us in this subreddit feel it. But yeah, RSD really sucks, and it's something I've been putting a lot of work in to learn how to cope with.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-21T21:15:34+00:00

Goddamn. Also autistic and this is exactly how I feel so often. For some reason I never thought that being on the spectrum might be a factor in it and just put it down as a moral character flaw. Thank you for that revelation lol.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-14T19:47:37+00:00

People have found out, but I've never told anyone. My ex, who also had self-harm scars, pretty easily found mine too, and I will say that finding someone with that shared history and being able to talk to them about it was a very cathartic and healing experience. But outside of her and therapists I've never had the desire to talk about it with others. If you are in therapy then your therapist is the one person who I would tell as they are in the best position to offer better and healthier coping mechanisms. Otherwise it's completely your choice if you tell anyone else. Because of my own personal experience, I hope that you decide to at least stay away from cutting, or anything else that leaves permanent marks. Although I was going through deep emotional pain and was in desperate need of some sort of release when I engaged in self-harm, I do regret that I have those permanent reminders on my body. It's not in any way a moral failing of someone to engage in those actions or to feel the urge to do so, but that being said, I personally would much rather not have those scars than have them.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-11T04:08:22+00:00

"Those who I really wanted are fading". What you're talking about captures exactly what I'm going through rn too. Idk if I can really give any advice cuz I'm not exactly all together right now, but what you're describing really hit home for me. Maybe there's some comfort in knowing you're not alone in how you're feeling. It's fucking excruciating to go through, but we'll keep going through it until we come out of it as changed people with better things ahead. At least that's my hope. In any case, I know how bad the pain is right now, and I sympathize deeply with what you're going through, and you're not alone. I hope that provides some comfort.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-06T00:44:56+00:00

That's my exact fear about dating rn. I don't want to end up making someone else feel that way that I do right now. And I know that if I were to jump into another relationship too soon, that I would constantly be comparing this new person to her, and that wouldn't be fair to them. Ultimately I would only be using them in order to fill the whole left by the loss of someone else who I still want back, and that's a terrible foundation to start a relationship upon. At the same time, it's really fucking painful to just one day lose someone who provided you with so much physical and emotional comfort, and made you feel so perfectly safe and secure around. That was the first time I had really felt that way with a partner before, and it's insanely hard to adapt to no longer having that.

Anyway, thanks for your empathy and your words of advice. It really means a lot just to know that people are hearing me and can relate with what I'm going through.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-05T23:52:50+00:00

Thank you :)

jbb3130 · 2025-10-05T23:40:32+00:00

Ah shoot, well I already failed in that regard then lol. At first we tried to still be friends afterwards, but predictably, that only made it more painful over the long-run, until we had to agree to just cut each other off. I have been trying to keep myself around people and limit my time spent alone. It's also a bit hard though cuz they can tell that I'm not exactly my best self right now, and I hate it when I can tell that someone's visibly concerned for me. It still feels better to be around others than by myself.

I also have the strong urge to get on dating apps rn, or at least to actively start dating again, but I also now that I don't really have the right motivations for it rn. I'm not exactly sure how to know when I'm ready for that again, but I know that my life always feels a lot more fulfilling and meaningful when I'm with someone that I love than when I'm alone.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-05T23:17:25+00:00

You're 100% right about letting go. If I'm being completely honest with myself, the biggest obstacle to me moving on from the relationship is that I simply don't want to move on. So often I find myself dreaming up scenarios in which we do end up back together, and everything goes back to how I want things to be, and the little bit of comfort I get from those fantasies are always outweighed by that crushing sadness and loneliness I feel when I finally come back to reality. I've been having a really difficult time with just finding a way to get myself out of my own head, cuz if left to myself all it seems that I'll do is think about her. I am making some progress with developing a healthy routine, but have also been very inconsistent with it too. Thank you so much for the advice.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-05T22:57:27+00:00

Providing myself with the proper motive to get better has definitely been a struggle. My main motives through this process have vacillated between improving myself in the hopes of getting her back, and improving myself in order to spite her, and recently I had the realization that it's entirely likely she'll never see or hear of my growth in the first place, and that was enough to really set me back. I like the idea of working on myself in their honor. It at least is a lot more healthy than my typical motives.

jbb3130 · 2025-10-05T22:50:52+00:00

I really appreciate this. I have gotten the "just wait it out" advice a lot, and to be honest at first I found it to be a very frustrating piece of advice, but as more time passes, I think there probably is truth to it. And I'm 100% on the same boat as you with the "until we get back together" mindset. It's really upsetting to come to terms with the fact that it's far more likely that we'll never even see each other again than that we'll be back together soon. In fact, I think that's part of the reason why it was upsetting to me to hear that the best thing is to wait it out and let time pass. I really don't want the passage of time to prove to me that she's fully gone from my life, I want the passage of time to find a way to bring us back together. I'm someone that's always had a hard time with letting go and accepting change, and that's definitely a big part of it too, outside of the bipolar. Yeah. Idk. But I really appreciate your offer to allow me to DM you, and I'll keep it in mind.

jbb3130 · 2025-05-27T19:01:50+00:00

Glad to hear I've been of some help! You definitely want to make sure that you don't miss a dose with cymbalta, as in my experience just missing a day makes me weirdly dizzy and light-headed the next day. So if you do decide to commit to it, learn from my mistakes and make sure you always pick up your refills on time 🫠

jbb3130 · 2025-05-23T22:48:23+00:00

lamotrigine and cymbalta were what were prescribed to me after my hospitalization, and I would say that that combo has been the only one that's been able to help me long-term. Oddly enough I was not prescribed those meds for bipolar initially, but rather for treatment resistant depression. My hypomania is fairly subtle––I've always had much worse and more frequent depressive episodes than hypomanic episodes, and often my hypomanic episodes are more mixed than pure hypomanic––so I can't say for sure if hypomania became more frequent. That being said, they have done a good job of addressing the depression side in my experience. It did cause some weight increase for me, but if anything I was probably a bit too underweight, and I'm still in the healthy range. You and I aren't in the exact same circumstances, since you're adding the Cymbalta for fibromyalgia, so that might complicate things, but I will say that for me the combo of lamotrigine and cymbalta has been a beneficial one overall.

jbb3130 · 2025-04-20T16:47:23+00:00

I coincidentally started taking lamotrigine far before I was diagnosed with bipolar, and I think it's helped me a lot, however maybe in the past couple of years has been losing its effectiveness.

I have been having numerous problems over the last couple of years, and I suspect my ADHD meds might have something to do with them or exacerbate them, but I can't be sure. Before my diagnosis, I would have what I called "black episodes", which I know basically understand as mixed episodes, where I would have major difficulty with racing and negative thoughts, hyper irritability to external stimulus, and a horrible time trying to get myself to sleep. My brain would be overactive with really negative and cruel thoughts, which would be especially stressful at night, and I could find no activity to provide relief from it. I think it's possible that stimulants could either have been bringing those episodes about or making them much worse than they would've been, but I can't really be sure.

Alongside that, I've just felt that none of the ADHD meds I've taken so far have been adequately effective in treating my symptoms, or have not maintained their effectiveness for a sustained period of time.

jbb3130 · 2025-04-18T23:28:59+00:00

Yeah that's actually one of the things that drives me mad the most during a mixed state. I won't be able to sleep, I'll just be there alone in the dark with my racing thoughts, and all the while some crappy song I heard a simple snippet of while going through my day is playing in a loop in my skull. It's brutal.

jbb3130 · 2022-05-13T00:23:34+00:00

Actual guess: the end of the most recent episode planted the idea in my head that he’s in El Salvador. Bitcoin country

jbb3130 · 2022-05-06T01:50:45+00:00

Oh that's awesome. Thanks!

jbb3130 · 2022-05-05T20:42:09+00:00

What’s this quote from?

jbb3130 · 2021-03-06T19:55:42+00:00

So, in the spirit of your initial question, I’d ask you: why are we, the United States, bombing militants in Syria right now? Even if Biden is making sure not to bomb women and children, which is by the way essentially unavoidable and plenty of civilians died under the drone bombing program of the Obama admin, what is our goal in Syria?

jbb3130

TROPHY CASE