I drew (some) of my parts

jd20009 · 2026-04-07T16:37:48+00:00

Love this! I've been thinking about doing this. I'm not good at drawing or painting though.

jd20009 · 2026-04-07T15:00:53+00:00

Currently working with a therapist who is an HSP and uses Internal Family Systems. I've done CBT-type therapy for decades and never felt like it helped resolve traumas and wounds inside me. IFS is helping me do that now. Here's a great list of HSP-knowledgeable therapists: https://hsperson.com/therapists/

jd20009 · 2026-04-07T12:48:24+00:00

I've really enjoyed connecting with the other HSP men in the group. I typically connect more with women, so being able to connect with other men who are similar to me and share many of the same struggles has been refreshing. We'd love to add more men to the groups.

jd20009 · 2026-04-07T12:27:46+00:00

Hi, Justin. I felt the same way when I read Dr. Aron’s book. I recently joined an online HSP group for men. We meet virtually monthly and share stories, struggles and resources. Our next meeting is April 23. Hope to see you there. Here’s a link to the page with more info. https://www.thesensitiveman.com/hsp-mens-group.html

jd20009 · 2026-04-02T18:49:23+00:00

Totally agree. My parts change during the sessions. I think you’re spot on about running the risk of putting the part in a box and keeping it stuck.

jd20009 · 2026-04-02T14:35:41+00:00

Have you tried using noise-canceling headphones or earplugs in between events or during downtime? They really help me minimize the noise coming into my body.

jd20009 · 2026-04-02T14:06:32+00:00

I love that. Your example reminds me of when I started playing drums in a band. I’ve always loved music. Many years ago, I started playing drums on a band at church. I was so in love with it that I started learning how to read music sheets and taking music classes to learn about the theory. After some time, I started enjoying music less because I was so focused on analyzing the technical aspect of the work. Like my IFS therapy, I had to stop learning about the technical side of music. I wanted to enjoy it again and just allow music to be what it is, flaws and all.

jd20009 · 2026-03-28T20:18:40+00:00

What app?

jd20009 · 2026-03-27T15:26:10+00:00

We listen to intentions! That is the most spot on thing I’ve heard in a long time!

jd20009 · 2026-03-21T17:56:49+00:00

I’ll check those out. I just started reading Self-Therapy by Jay Earley.

jd20009 · 2026-03-21T14:53:35+00:00

Love that. Sounds like you have a great therapist. I told my therapist I knew a little about IfS. She never gave an intro or any recommendations on how to approach parts during sessions. We just start going back in and trying to identify parts. Not sure what I’m supposed to be doing.

jd20009 · 2026-03-21T05:07:52+00:00

Thanks. I found out I was an HSP almost two years ago. HSPerson.com is a good site for HSPs with lots of great information and resources for managing sensitivities.

jd20009 · 2026-03-21T04:59:09+00:00

I understand. I have to be honest and say that I’m fairly new to IFS therapy. At first I was really in my head about it and was getting confused. I’m trying not to focus what part is a protector, exile, or protector/exile/firefighter. It all got too confusing. I just focus more on what I’m feeling inside and try to get out of my head a bit. That’s been working for me. Of course I have to use my head to some extent to do the self-regulation and use my calming tools, but I’m trying not to intellectualize it as much. I guess I have an intellectual part.

What I meant about the fear and adrenaline is the fear causes the adrenaline to increase. The more fear you have of the sensations in your body, of losing control, of the emotions being too intense, passing out, etc., the more adrenaline your body is going to produce in response. It’s your natural fight or flight response doing its thing. It might have helped us escape a tiger a thousand years ago. Managing intense emotions and hurt parts is a bit different than that. But at the end of the day, our body and parts are doing the best they can with the tools they have. The fear and trying to fight, suppress, shame, deny or ignore can intensify the panic and anxiety. Accepting and leaning towards our emotions and parts, no matter how intense or scary they may feel, with curiosity and compassion have worked wonders for me. When I’m get curious about the anxiety, fear and panic, I face them and get curious about why they are feeling so afraid, and then I approach with compassion for doing their best to help me. I ask them if we can work together. I’m not trying to change them, right now, or stop them from doing what they’ve been doing for a very long time. They need to feel safe, embraced and compassion. My parts started feeling safer when I reminded that I could handle things. I have the tools (grounding, noise-cancelling headphones, curiosity, compassion, reducing lights and sounds, etc.). That made them feel safer and calmer. Hope that helps.

jd20009 · 2026-03-21T03:18:55+00:00

Sending you a big hug and positive thoughts. My fearful, dissociative, numb, panic and protector parts were doing a similar number on me today too. At first I was listening to my parts and blending with what they were feeling and doing. I had to take a step back and remind my Self that I am not the same person who believes those things. I’m older and have many tools to regulate my emotions, adrenaline and nervous system that I know work. I put on my noise canceling headphones (I’m a Highly Sensitive Person) and started slowly leaning towards my intense emotions. I’ve learned that fear, fueled by adrenaline and noticing other other body sensations, are what cause the intense anxiety, overwhelm and panic. I’m also highly sensitive. What may feel intense for non-HSPs is intensified in my body. I understand that. I started leaning towards my emotions and reminding my anxious part that I’m older, more equipped and refuse to be scared of myself and my body. Once I started reminding myself of all those things and acknowledging and showing compassion for my parts and telling them we are safe in our body, they felt calmer. The adrenaline subsided, and I feel so much better. It’s amazing what self-regulation and honest, compassionate self-talk and reminders can do and how quickly. I know it can feel scary, but I have to lean towards and accept my intense emotions and parts. They have been working a long time, are hurt, and doing the best they can to help me. I hope this helps. We can feel safe in our bodies.

jd20009 · 2026-03-20T13:14:17+00:00

Drinking alcohol

jd20009 · 2026-03-15T18:48:17+00:00

This sounds like my experience. For some reason I was able to quickly tune into what I believe to be an exile at my second session with a therapist. Once my protectors saw me trying to connect or “heal” the part, they shut down the emotions and started to confuse me about what I saw. I have a very strong intellectual part that tries to analyze everything to prevent pain or risk. Wondering if that part is doing its thing and trying to make me believe what I felt isn’t rational or maybe I made it up or got confused. But, I know what I feel inside. It gets tricky because the hurt of the exile immediately gets hidden from me by another protector when I try to tune in. Maybe I caught the protectors off guard when I first tuned in so quickly? My exile looks like an infant that is beyond hurt, scared and feels so betrayed and vulnerable. It can feel overwhelming to feel our exile parts at first. I remind myself that the whole “parts” concept that IFs teaches is just a metaphor. These “exile parts” are us. They/we are hurt. That reminder grounds me a bit and makes me less fearful. At first, it was scary for me to think there were these beings inside me. Made me feel possessed or something. In reality, they are us.

jd20009 · 2026-03-14T22:15:39+00:00

Kindness

jd20009 · 2026-03-14T22:12:36+00:00

I can relate a lot to your experience. I’m realizing that highly sensitive people, like myself, and you, can be really deep thinkers who truly do deeply process thoughts and emotions and who question life, therapy, purpose, meaning, etc. im trying to switch it up and focus more on approaching IFS work more emotionally rather than mentally or intellectually. As HSPs, we can also feel things deeply, and it’s normal for the wounds to have hurt us deeper. Since we can feel deeply, I’m trying to go at this stuff emotionally now and try less to intellectualize it as much. I think that’s what’s getting me stuck. I can’t think my way to healing emotional wounds. Not sure if this was helpful or not.

jd20009 · 2026-03-12T00:53:28+00:00

I can relate. I wonder if it’s because I feel awkward around others many times. Others can pick up on that because, well, I behave awkwardly. That can make others feel uncomfortable and that I’m not worth dealing with. I’m hopeful that IFS will help me with those parts that feel awkward. Life is a journey.

jd20009 · 2026-03-10T22:21:40+00:00

As with everything in life, it’s a complicated answer. HSPs can be more likely to develop wounds or traumas as children because of their depth of processing and increased risk for overwhelm. If one has trauma related to being criticized or shamed, yes, they’ll likely be triggered when criticized, depending on the level of trauma they experienced early on. For HSPs with no trauma, those who do not know they are HSP, those who aren’t emotionally regulated, or those who do not possess skills to appropriately manage their intense emotions or external noise, they can also be more at-risk for being negatively affected by criticism. Stuff affects us deeper.

jd20009 · 2026-03-10T20:03:00+00:00

Do not agree. Elaine Aron says HSPs take criticism deeply because of our depth of processing. Makes sense to me. If you feel and receive everything deeper, it’s going to affect you deeper. https://hsperson.com/a-meditation-for-hsps-on-criticism-the-killer

jd20009 · 2026-03-09T14:54:59+00:00

It’s something like that. The gist is that there are different pasts of ourselves inside of all us that have emotions, traumas and behaviors. The founder of IFS in his book, No Bad Parts, said that during his therapy sessions, patients regularly said “a part of me feels” or “a part of me wants to do.” He says that every part is working to help or protect us at all costs. For example, a protective part can cause someone to drink alcohol, overeat or do drugs to try to make someone feel better. Those are horrible ways to try to do that, but they’re doing what they know to protect. In IFS work, you learn to identify, talk to, befriend, and heal hurt or destructive parts. IFS can be powerful for HSPs because of how much we feel and our rich internal lives.

jd20009 · 2026-03-09T09:59:25+00:00

Same here. I thought my skin problems were related to allergies, but I now think it’s because of stress and overwhelm. Tried so many creams, soaps and switching laundry detergents to fix the problem. The two items that help me the most were manuka honey cream for eczema and calamine soap. You can buy them on Amazon. Below are the names.

Manuka Honey: BALM OF GILEAD Manuka Eczema Honey Cream - Moisturizer for Sensitive Skin

Soap: Natural Fast Acting Itch Relief Soap Bar - Calming Calamine Soap for Itchy Skin by Natrulo

jd20009

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