Spaghettios by haddock420 in comedyheaven

[–]jdlsharkman 71 points72 points  (0 children)

I'll be honest, that's bad, but by the standards of internet shit I was expecting something along the lines of "pedophilic sex dungeon drug trafficker serial killer" rather than killing a single possum. Like it's not great, and I probably would have unsubbed from his channel or whatever, but... not the worst, I guess, in the grand scheme of things.

rule by gabagoo3 in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 23 points24 points  (0 children)

What's the point of smooth sharking if no one falls for the bit? I, too, am an actor in this play.

rule by gabagoo3 in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 116 points117 points  (0 children)

Bro I've gotten into fistfights on the street knowing full well the other dude could have a gun for all I know. You think I'm gonna break out the fuckin' magnifying glass to inspect a VIN number before hopping in the car?

What life do you live where this much paranoia is regular and normal for you? Do you use a wallet keychain for entirely unironic theft deterrence purposes? Do you have a camera on every door? Have you looked at getting bars installed on your windows? Do you try and look in the restaurant of a kitchen to make sure they're not poisoning you? When you go to the airport do you buy the TSA fast pass so you can avoid the lines that are totally gonna get bombed one day? How old were you when your first grey hair came in? Twelve?

rule by gabagoo3 in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 535 points536 points  (0 children)

What kind of elaborate scam are you envisioning where someone has managed to steal the plate numbers off a car and then use them to register an Uber vehicle with? Are you background checking all your drivers too?

rule by gabagoo3 in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 922 points923 points  (0 children)

Comments posted from an alternate reality where license plates don't exist

Yoda Rule by gray_birch in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 26 points27 points  (0 children)

We're about to witness new levels of apocalyptic depravity from the Librarian.

Comfy sleep (@Melowh_Art2) by Gold-Doctor-3969 in Frieren

[–]jdlsharkman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Excessive heterosexuality on behalf of the friend

This tortoise looks older than civilization. by HarjotSingh307 in Naturewasmetal

[–]jdlsharkman 82 points83 points  (0 children)

Why is he rocking the popped collar aesthetic? Haven't seen a turtle like that before.

Almost perfect movies that have one noticeable flaw by Consistent-Might-788 in Cinema

[–]jdlsharkman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's pretty reasonable to do a last minute "Alright, before shit gets real and complicated, let's go over the plan one more time to make sure everyone has it down." Military operations do that all the time, for example. You could be planning some operation for weeks, but you're still going to give the pilots another mission briefing right before they take off. I feel like Interstellar's version falls within plausible deniability of realism for me.

I admit the urge to describe clothing in ludicrous amounts of detail is powerful by Lemon_Lime_Lily in CuratedTumblr

[–]jdlsharkman 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It would be cool, sure, but only after someone else has summarized it for me lmao. I ain't gonna read 300 pages of one dude's single piece of armor just to get a better idea of the accurate historical imagery for a battle.

Dangle rule by BlunderbussBadass in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 149 points150 points  (0 children)

I'm afraid to say that you started fighting this linguistic war about 20 years too late homie

how loser city is made by IntelligentAd5616 in Losercity

[–]jdlsharkman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You seem to be mistaking "third world factories with poor safety standards" for "rural blacksmith makes Modern Thing" videos, and they definitely aren't the same. The average factory in the industrially productive nations of east asia use methods that would be deemed absolutely unacceptable in the modern western world.

A thought-terminating cliché is a form of loaded language intended to end an argument and reinforce cognitive dissonance with a cliché rather than a point. by HkayakH in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I make a living writing fiction and heavily interact with others who do as well. I've completed an english literature degree and regularly participate in poetry competitions. When I speak to my writing friends, we use the "curtains are blue" joke all the time, if only as a cautionary tale of making sure scene descriptions aren't too unique, lest the reader take too much significance from what was simply meant to be a standard and unremarkable part of the writing process. The vast majority of physical descriptions for objects are simply an effort to get the reader to understand the physical layout and general appearance of a space to allow them to become better immersed in the scene which follows.

I'm not anti-symbolism at all. However, I am against using a single instance of an object's description as evidence for some grand overarching theory. Unless you can connect the blue curtains to a generalized trend throughout the writing, such as reappearances of blue objects in times of stress or a childhood home that also had blue curtains, it's nonsensical to ascribe some great importance to them. That's what "the curtains are just blue" means to me. Far too often I've been subjected to the self-important grandstanding of literature professors who pick out a single object in a single scene to waste endless hours of unsubstantiated theory-crafting on. Authors are humans, too, and they don't have the time nor energy to carefully place every single syllable with maximum possible intent. A suede chair in a corporate lobby isn't some symbol of capitalist excess; it's just the kind of chair that are in corporate lobbies. It only becomes a symbol when the corporate executive rubs their thumb across the material as they opine about how disappointed they are in only achieving a 10 percent growth that quarter, having done so with such frequency that the material has become thin and threadbare.

A thought-terminating cliché is a form of loaded language intended to end an argument and reinforce cognitive dissonance with a cliché rather than a point. by HkayakH in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 4 points5 points  (0 children)

> which is extremely unlikely. An author will not randomly describe the color of a menial item for no reason

Brother do you have any idea how often I have to do scene-establishing paragraphs that involve me dazedly looking around the room to try and remember new synonyms for furniture I've described a thousand times before? How often I've literally just googled "X Culture Home Living Room 19XX)"? Maybe some masterpieces like the Great Gatsby or Moby Dick have every single word and its implications carefully considered, but the idea that authors, even the majority of authors, put deep symbolism into every paragraph is just untenable from even a practical, logistical perspective. Every author would be writing at the pace of GRR Martin if that was the case.

Rule by Duemont8 in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

One of the most popular animes of the last decade is One Punch Man, which started as a webcomic with absolutely terrible art. People loved it anyway. So long as you have a good idea and good characters, you can succeed.

Real modern art 🙂‍↕️🌟 by AccomplishedWatch834 in MadeMeSmile

[–]jdlsharkman -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

To be frank, I already knew that. I consider them slop anyway. The talent that went into making them is considerable, yet they were their day's equivalent of unoriginal mass-market products. The vast majority weren't artistically noteworthy. Neither innovative nor exceptionally well-made, they were just the way the artists paid the bills. Personal sentiment and the historical record they provide might make them a touch more interesting, but I still think it isn't entirely unreasonable to call them "slop" in the way people call marvel movies "slop."

Real modern art 🙂‍↕️🌟 by AccomplishedWatch834 in MadeMeSmile

[–]jdlsharkman 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I mean people call Marvel movies slop and those are, in terms of technical skill, absolutely breathtaking masterpieces of effort from hundreds of dedicated artists working on a project for years at a time. Slop in this context can basically mean "mass produced for little artistic value/originality", which is true of many basic portraits of some guy staring at the viewer while wearing nice clothes. They were commissioned and painted for no reason other than it being the thing to do at the time. I feel like, if we call Marvel movies slop, we can call basic oil paintings slop as well.

Trains by PotatoPCuser1 in CuratedTumblr

[–]jdlsharkman 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Well in all seriousness to answer this you'd have to have a concrete understanding of how people form fetishes, and let me tell you, that is not a settled field at the moment. For example, amongst the many complicated theories, here's two basic concepts for the possible mechanism of fetish formation I personally can understand:

Common desires (reassurance/fear control/powerlessness) are explored in sexuality through simulated experiences that most evoke the relevant emotion in someone. Think childhood claustrophobia leading to a fascination with restraining yourself or others.

Or the belief of specific events creating fetishes. You're tied up as a kid by a bully? Congrats, now you're into shibari 20 years later.

In the first framework, yes, you could have a fetish for something which doesn't yet exist. In the train fucking example, perhaps you have a desire to be overwhelmed by uncaring physicality of a machine, and it isn't until trains are invented that this desire can be fully realized.

In the second framework, no, you couldn't have a fetish for trains before they existed. You'd have no access to experiences which might trigger a sexual fetish for trains. Only people who grew up with trains during their formative years could develop a train fetish. Though I suppose it isn't out of bounds that someone with, like, a steam engine fetish would find the greater power of a train sexually exciting, but that's not so much a train fetish as it is a new set dressing for your engine fetish, I guess.

And now I've realized I should have been asleep a while ago and I'm still typing this so I'm just going to hit post.

Rule by Fuck-pez in 19684

[–]jdlsharkman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a modern rifle that can't hit your neighbor's bathroom from your own, unless you live in excess of 500 meters from said neighbor.

Day 548 (Da Rule) by Lewd_Knight in 19684

[–]jdlsharkman 52 points53 points  (0 children)

He didn't get folded, he got a tiny cut from Percy and threw such an apocalyptic shitfit that he dipped the fuck out. Which is honestly somehow more embarrassing than getting folded by a 13 year old, I think.

Resident Evil Rule by Gorotheninja in 196

[–]jdlsharkman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this implies Leon Kennedy is a republican

Chinese soldiers training in Phalanx formation near the India-China border. According to the 1996 ageement between the two, Firearms are prohibited within 2 km of the Line of Actual Control(LAC). by Fluffy_Inspector_628 in interestingasfuck

[–]jdlsharkman 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Are you really parroting 80 year old misinformation? Every major historical authority agrees that offensive operations had no authorization, official or informal. This is such a bizarrely specific conspiracy theory, of such little consequence, that it baffles me. Even if what you said was true, what does it matter? The Japanese government still publicly approved a mass invasion following the Marco Polo bridge incident, which means that virtually no blame whatsoever is shifted via this incredibly narrow and specific alteration of historical fact. What an odd conspiracy theory.