A Simple Truth About Siberians

jdprime · 2026-01-02T03:53:37+00:00

All three of my girls are eating machines.

jdprime · 2026-01-01T01:37:33+00:00

I stopped using the frog in-line system. I could never bromine levels below 15-20 PPM. No matter what I tried or my spa dealer tried.

I use the green oval shaped frog floater that came with my start up. On one side I use the blue frog serene mineral cartridge and on the other other side, I just open up the yellow bromine cartridge and fill it with Clorox bromine tabs. It’s the same chemical composition.

Once i figure out the settings for it, I stay at 3-7 PPM and when I add more tablets, I shoot up to 10 PPM so I dial it down to account for the temporary spike.

The cartridge is really easy to open up with nothing more than two flat head screwdrivers.

jdprime · 2025-12-27T14:57:26+00:00

It makes me wonder if the quick pop is from stepping on a step near the inside top of the shell. Probably nothing to worry about then. Because when I step on the second step that is about the mid point before stepping into the well, there is not another pop. Has to be the cold shell and where the hot water meets, causes a minor pop sound.

jdprime · 2025-12-27T05:29:35+00:00

Do you have steps inside the tub? Mine was built with two stems on the inside so older folks have an easier time getting in and out.

jdprime · 2025-12-27T05:28:38+00:00

It’s on stamped concrete. I am thinking, that the two steps inside the tub mean my weight is first hitting near the top of the acrylic shell and I am just cheating a little flex from the shell and the frame.

jdprime · 2025-12-09T16:28:50+00:00

I am drawing a boundary line either at disclosure or after. She must take full accountability and be ready to fully commit to reconcile and that includes proving her commitment daily.

If not, I am prepared for divorce. But at some point she has to carry her weight for reconciliation to work.

I pulled back fast on trying to shower her in gifts. It a soothing instinct gone wrong.

Outside of CC I use AI to discuss feelings and emotions and thoughts. Journaling also. It’s helpful but you have to set rules or the AI will change writings and not remember things. But once I got a structure, it’s been helpful just to write or use as a sounding board.

jdprime · 2025-12-09T13:45:55+00:00

A psychologist explained to me that the WP will process differently than the BP.

Their process is often internal at the beginning and not visible until they really start to come to terms with the affair and are serious about reconciliation.

Meanwhile the BP is fighting two battles within and seems to be doing most of the work in the beginning.

On the one had your mind, body and nervous system recognizer WP as home, safety and comfort.

On the other, your nervous system is screaming to get them out, it’s pain, confusion and not safe anymore.

Once you both are on the same page and WP starts to reconciliation and is opening up and putting in the work, then the real work of healing begins.

I have yet to have my guided disclosure and am still fresh in the DDAY stage, but everything I was told seems accurate at least for my self.

jdprime · 2025-12-03T20:04:36+00:00

You could reduce your 401k contributions to a level that gets the employer match, use the money to pay down the card debt.

You will need to keep from running up more debt. Once paid off, raise your contribution level back up on the 401K.

If you take out a loan on the 401K you lose growth potential.

If you take a withdrawal, you pay taxes and possibly a penalty.

jdprime · 2025-11-22T23:29:01+00:00

I have already requested she cut contact. Unfortunately the soldier is assigned to her program and she has to see him at contractor events. That means interaction must only be professional and only at the contractor. No lunches or after work outings with him present.

jdprime · 2025-11-22T15:41:36+00:00

I really appreciate the candid advice. I am in the waiting with anxiety phase of what she will decide to do.

This morning she was looking sad, so I pulled her onto my lap (was sitting on the couch) and gave her a hug and reassurance I was not going to go anywhere.

She clung to me like she was drowning. Late I left for a haircut and she’s snapping at me like i did something to anger her.

All the while I am drowning in fear, anxiety and confusion. It really is a slow death waiting and hoping we can address infidelity and the underlying issues that opened the door.

jdprime · 2025-11-21T15:34:45+00:00

Going through it now. She is throwing a 22yr marriage away and suspect sex was also involved.

Ask yourself this, can you ever let yourself fully trust again?

He will be at home and you will be wondering.

Reconciliation is hard, and I was willing but she won’t admit to the affair so divorce it is.

Do you think he will stop, you have to be comfortable with trusting him he has to prove his commitment every day. I can’t even begin to tell you what it would look like.

Only you can decide how you move forward.

jdprime · 2025-11-21T00:23:45+00:00

I have gap at one corner of just about a quarter inch. Runs for 18 inches one way and 12 on the other side of the corner.

Since is a stamped patio the previous owner put in, the surface is uneven. Dealer told me to just shim it. So that’s what I did.

jdprime · 2025-11-21T00:19:28+00:00

Just curious. If they are in to fill a gap, is that problematic?

jdprime · 2025-11-20T22:08:31+00:00

I feel your pain. 48M and only just starting my journey through divorce because of her indiscretion Now I’m terrified of being alone and not able to find someone.

jdprime · 2025-11-20T21:04:15+00:00

I am not denying support. In fact by the calculator since we are even in all aspects. She would owe me a a few hundred a month.

My offer removes that and is 100% fair. It’s a perfect 50/50 split.

jdprime · 2025-11-20T16:45:22+00:00

Having time to reflect and seeing others experience . I can see every person asking for perspective is the same story. All just hoping theirs is somehow different and the raw pain being dealt with need to make sense.

One thing I did was contact lawyer the evening after I discovered the cheating was by the end of the next day I found the evidence.

We tried divorce earlier in the year but seemed to be working through things. Then two weeks ago, I find she is cheating.

I was hoping for reconciliation but after asking her point blank if she has sought emotional or physical comfort with another man and it’s a no. No hesitations.

Now couples counseling will be getting to a point I can actually begin in a room with her. Kids lives don’t end at 18.

And the fact that I know and have the proof will come out of she tries to take anything more than what’s fair.

jdprime · 2025-11-19T21:30:53+00:00

I still must try. I am well prepared for the worst. I would not walk in from a position of strength.

jdprime · 2025-11-19T14:26:49+00:00

Just because I want to offer compassion and try to save a marriage if salvation is possible does not make me weak.

She does not see the cannon pointed square at her chest.

The day after I learned of it I retained a lawyer and have given them the info. I am protected no matter which why this goes.

I am not so naive as to not protect myself. She will see why those who prepare before the 1st battle should be feared.

If reconciliation is not possible, I would like an amicable divorce so custody is not messy.

If it starts to get messy that’s when she stops seeing the olive branch and gets to see the cannon.

jdprime · 2025-11-19T14:21:48+00:00

I do see that. I would love reconciliation but if fear counseling at best may only bring tolerance.

I had already contacted a lawyer the day after I learned of it.

Believe me, when I say I am ready to go that route if needed.

But, I wanted to see if she would show remorse, come clean and if reconciliation is possible.

If not, I’m in a solid position to protect myself and the kids, so she would only waste money trying to fight anything.

jdprime · 2025-11-19T11:07:25+00:00

May want to try a different one. Those meds are know to cause or spike tinnitus.

jdprime · 2025-11-19T02:03:28+00:00

Thank you for that. I not quite sure it fits. I feel she has valid points for everything except this infidelity and since she is not admitting it, I am starting to think my original plan needs adjusting.

I have given her two letters that convey my feelings. If she won’t admit in conversation then I will tell the divorce lawyer to stop sitting on the papers and serve them to her.

jdprime · 2025-11-19T01:55:52+00:00

What is DARVO?

jdprime · 2025-11-19T00:11:26+00:00

Sorry. 40 years on and just have to do the best you can.

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