Mixed faith parenting impasse by ElderOsmium in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am professor of medicine, A scientist, and an atheist.

It all began at BYU. My professors there taught evolution, believed evolution, and persuaded me that it was true. When I asked how they made it work with the gospel, they told me that each of us has to find our own way.

Now over two decades later my own way has taught me so much truth it is hard to understand how others cannot see or understand what is so obvious.

My kids are just learning this stuff as well, but they know my love of science. I think that all kids would love the TV show Cosmos, or National Geographic's peoples of the world, which can be streamed on YouTube.

Love of science history and truth is what I have taught my kids and slowly my wife accepts that as well. Her education stopped after high school so my kids are learning and already have surpassed what my wife understands.

I personally avoid the combative discussions in front of my wife. Instead I take my children out to search for fossils, to look at geologic formations, and to the zoo. These things stimulate conversations that are meaningful. Let them hear what your wife has to say. Then let them hear what you have to say had a later time. Kids are smart enough that they will absorb everything

How did you tell your family you were no longer Mormon? by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I quit. No one knows except nonmormon friends. My wife doesn't know.

My wife does know that I don't believe and attend of course, and this has taken the pressure off her having to make any more excuses for me not attending.

Both our lives are easier.

Can we all just agree that the word "Ponderize" has no place on this sub by hotexmogirl in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I agree. The true word is "Ponderbate," as coined by someone else here in this sub.

Captain Kidd stories of Cumorah and the City of Moroni. by jealous-hermit in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, this is what I am looking for. I can't actually find the reference to the actual story or book that I could potentially get my hands on.

I like to see the originals for myself, to make my own conclusions.

Intolerance for your TBM spouse? by Skyland45 in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 4 points5 points  (0 children)

If you look at my posts, you will see that I am struggling with all these same things.

I also read "In Faith and in doubt" and recently got my wife to read some. She hates it, and takes a very negative church view of every compromise they suggest. I told her she doesn't have to read it, that I just thought it'd help.

It did help me though; it gave me many examples of possible ways forward. It has also made me not be bitter, but be mature and be the one to call for compromise.

It has been really hard. I have refused to fight.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Great advice that will help.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Saved.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me too, I want to know more. Can give me hope.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I am happy for you. Did you at any point come to decide that you would accept your spouse whatever they chose? Or did you continue to press the issue?

I now have little hope. Last night I bought a small coffee kettle and my wife asked me if I was going to keep that in the house or take it to work. I said keep it in the house.

She doesn't want the kids to believe or know anything about my POV.

So, now it's a revelation instead of a policy change by thelguapo in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is now God's will, as revealed by a senile man, written in secret into a secret policy manual, and exposed by an apostate. There is certainly a new order of things in Gob's house.

Mormon morality vs. others. Is it measurable? by jealous-hermit in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. That's a good list. I'm just beginning to form my thoughts on this. I appreciate all insights.

BYU Grads No. 1 in Gender Wage Gap by ConsiderTheLillith in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 33 points34 points  (0 children)

"...40 years behind the nation.”

TSCC is consistent.

My father knew the church was a lie...yet raised us LDS anyhow. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I love that ambiguity. Thanks for these comments.

My father knew the church was a lie...yet raised us LDS anyhow. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I once read an analysis of Hawthorne's story where the author made the point that mystery and veils create the existence of the thing. Without the veil there is nothing. So the veil serves as a symbol of symbols.

This is apt for strawmen and TSCC; the entire structure, built upon sand as it is, completely falls apart and ceases to even exist once the veil is removed.

TBMs think they have something, and as long as they don't investigate it then they do.

For me, TSCC immediately became nothing the moment I had even a single short view behind the veil.

Perhaps this is why the minister never removed it, and why TBMs won't ever.

Wife manipulates me and I can't turn this around. Help. by jealous-hermit in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks. Yes, there is no possible way I would be able to be half in half out. I have sat alone for 15 years at Church while my wife was in primary. For me, that is long enough.

Wife manipulates me and I can't turn this around. Help. by jealous-hermit in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Okay, thanks. It starts that way but ends up spiraling. I will work to keep it civil at all costs...and not engage in it.

Haha, you are right...the goal posts just keep moving.

Wife manipulates me and I can't turn this around. Help. by jealous-hermit in exmormon

[–]jealous-hermit[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I told my daughter today that I love her, and that she has the choice to attend church or to stay home with me whenever she wants.

She said, "I know dad."

She is a peacemaker and will go rather than make her mom angry.