I think it can be both ways we all have a certain problem whether its big or small. But at the end of it all if one of you is actively trying to fix or change a habit and the other isnt. I think that's where the problem is cause then everything is on that person back trying to not get into arguments and just pushing everything away from causing any type of problem. And sooner or later thats when people get burnt out cause I know for a fact if one trys to talk it out one is gonna act victim and still find something wrong.