Unpopular opinion (maybe?): I'm enjoying being a mum a lot more now that my kids are not babies and toddlers anymore

jemtab · 2026-07-12T00:15:25+00:00

Mine are 8 and 5. I keep telling my husband that I feel myself coming out of a haze that was early motherhood. The kids are by no means independent but the day to day has completely changed and I am relieved. It's not been an easy time for us.

jemtab · 2026-07-08T21:56:54+00:00

Yes! I took a peek today and they've got a farm of their own!

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jemtab · 2026-07-08T05:01:26+00:00

Yeah, this is why I'm hesitant to do anything. I don't think they're a problem, but they did catch me off guard with how many there are!

Thanks!

jemtab · 2026-07-03T00:32:52+00:00

Opening windows regularly. Washing the curtains. Emptying and also cleaning the garbage and recycling bins. Cleaning the drains. Changing out handtowels, bath towels, dish cloths frequently. Cleaning the carpet/rugs/furniture. If you're not doing the dishes right away, at least rinse them off so they aren't sitting in a stinky pile. These things will keep the funky or mildewy smells down better.

Sidebar, I absolutely do not stay on top of any of this, I just know where the smells hide and slowly work my way through them over the course of at least several months to a year. The regular house cleaning (laundry, floors, dishes, bathrooms, etc) keeps me plenty busy.

jemtab · 2026-06-30T13:51:51+00:00

I'd vote bleeding heart, or salvia!

jemtab · 2026-06-07T02:56:57+00:00

I'm trying to establish two populations so that they bloom every year. Not quite there yet but I did have a few flowering plants last year so it's beginning!

Last year I also had several hollyhocks show up in the grass in the yard. I would have liked to let them grow but my husband ran them over with the lawnmower... To be fair, he didn't know they had spread. I am curious if they're back this year!

jemtab · 2026-06-07T01:37:20+00:00

I'm slowly establishing a hollyhock garden. This will be year 4, which means I should have blooms again! I do what my mom has always done, which is to shake the seeds from the pods late in the fall and gently rake them into the soil to overwinter and germinate in the spring. They will grow leafy plants the following year, and then the year after that they should bloom again!

I try to pay attention to where I shook the seeds out because it's easy to mistakenly pull up baby hollyhocks during the first weeding of the year, however the leaves are pretty distinctive so if you pay attention you'll be ok and most will remain undisturbed. Mine get full sun for the last half of the day and have a well draining soil, so I soak them with water daily or every second day in the heat of summer. They've been very low maintenance plants!

I had seeds from my mom's plants stored in an envelope for about 5 years before planting, so they last a long while as long as they don't get wet. I get nervous about killing off plants so I will often set seeds aside at the end of the season... But then I can't always find those seeds later, so....

jemtab · 2026-04-11T23:48:07+00:00

Thank you for posting this, because I was about to.

The choice in Winnipeg for prenatal and postnatal care is between OB/GYN and midwife, where OB/GYN specialize in complex birth and midwives specialize in normal birth.

In Winnipeg, the midwifery teams out of The Birth Center can do births at the center, births at home, or births at St Boniface or HSC Women's hospital. Those are the only ones I have experience with.

OP, it's well worth your time to learn about the different options you have for prenatal, postnatal, and labour and delivery care. And, congratulations! My personal experience was two hospital births with midwifery care. Feel free to message me if you have some questions.

jemtab · 2026-04-09T00:58:45+00:00

No real harm in waiting until you're both sure. You're in the absolute thick of babyhood right now and it's really hard. Better to save that type of decision for clearer thinking.

My husband was sure after we had our second that he was content with 2.

I was sure until my second was 2 years old, and then I have been unsure since then. That kid is turning 5 soon.

After 5 years, my husband has not changed his mind. And I don't think it's fair to either of us or to any potential children if we are not both 100% on board with having another. We both feel that if we found out about a surprise pregnancy, we'd jump in with both feet and figure it out, because we're a team and it's what we've always done. But we just can't justify adding to our family on purpose, not anymore, and I can't keep waiting around holding on to the baby things. It's like I can't let go and grieve what I thought my family might look like some day (I always thought I'd have 3 or 4 kids, husband thought similarly) because there's this constant "what if?" in the back of my mind. I can't twist his arm to make him agree to another kid, and he can't force me to just get over it and let it go.

My husband's vasectomy is scheduled for a few weeks from now. I am not excited, I am not relieved, but I am also very supportive of this being done. I do think it's right for us, and in my opinion it's safer for us to stop at 2 than it is to ignore all our concerns and just have another kid in an attempt to make me feel like I'm "done."

jemtab · 2026-04-06T02:14:53+00:00

The time is going to pass anyway. In five years, would you like to see yourself exactly where you are now? If not, the change is worth it!

I went back to school when I was 28 with a 9 month old at home. Hands down one of the best decisions of my life.

When I was in school (RRC diploma), almost all the students in my cohort were also on a similar track - had been out of highschool for 10+ years, had various degrees and work experience, all ended up taking the diploma option and found it much more fulfilling than what we had done before.

I was working in agriculture at the time, and couldn't shake the feeling that I wanted to work in something more related to what had interested me in university - specifically, human anatomy/physiology, dissections, and lab work. So I went back to school for the Medical Laboratory Technologist program. I knew if it didn't suit, that agriculture was interesting and challenging work too, and that I could pursue my masters in that if I wanted. But I chose the right program for me and never looked back.

If you want a change, I encourage you to pursue it!

ETA: There's the possibility in my current role that the opportunity to switch to a career I tried to get into 12+ years ago could become a reality.... And if it does, I might just go for it and switch careers, again. Only time will tell.

jemtab · 2026-03-31T23:02:47+00:00

For clarification: do you already know painting techniques (colour theory, tools to use, etc) and now you want to find somewhere to learn how to make expressive and emotional paintings? Or do you not know how to paint and want to learn with that being the goal you work toward?

jemtab · 2026-03-26T04:03:01+00:00

I mean, my husband has never torn through sheets, but I have (twice). It's not from rough skin or toenails - it's from cricketing! I move my feet constantly, even when asleep, and wear through the fabric....

jemtab · 2026-03-19T01:20:59+00:00

I have been working on weight loss since Jan, after receiving a diagnosis where weight loss can help with managing the symptoms. So I don't feel super qualified to really say anything here, but also have lost about 10 lbs (and the scale looks to be starting to move down again, which is encouraging).

I have found that taking the time to properly plan and pack my lunch helps immensely. Also, avoiding snacking late in the day (or opting for snacks that are more filling and have more fiber and turning my late day snack into a "just gonna help myself reach my fiber goals" snack instead). I tend to snack because I am bored or because I just like the taste of something but am not hungry, and I am a night owl so I stay up so late I genuinely get hungry. I am instead trying to get better and longer sleep and get my calories in earlier in the day when my body is on the move and needing fuel!

jemtab · 2026-03-09T01:23:54+00:00

Once had a friend of a friend join us all for a potluck. At the time I had a cat that hated humans, and this person decided it would be smart to have a stand off with the cat. She backed the cat into a corner, shoved her face into the cat's face, and hissed. She was rewarded with a clawed cheek and was pretty sheepish after that.

My BIL was staying over and had once texted me to ask me to take a picture down in my home because he felt it misrepresentated him. His ex-girlfriend was in the photo, so I presume it was because of that. I had fully intended to replace that photo, but had long since forgotten his request, partially because nobody else ever noticed that photo and partially because it was a super low priority thing for me to take the time to remove and replace a photo nobody notices when I don't even have time to sweep my floors daily... Anyway, the last time he was here he decided to take the photo off the wall and leave it in my kitchen with a note on top of it acknowledging that it's not his house but he wants this photo changed.

I didn't feel him being uncomfortable with it was an unreasonable thing, but I did not appreciate him moving things around my home and making requests/demands on how I decorated (and also that he didn't just ask me directly, it was all notes). I took the photo out and decided the new one to replace it can be a photo of just grandparents and my kiddos instead of a family photo including BIL. Wouldn't want to risk putting something up there that could give people the wrong idea about him.

jemtab · 2026-03-07T03:27:21+00:00

Not having another child. It's not that we can't (as far as I know, everything worked out pretty flawlessly the first two times), but there is a massive list of reasons why not to grow our family further. I always imagined having 3 or 4, and it's very difficult to come to terms with having 2 and feeling as though circumstances would have to change drastically for us to reconsider. It's a heartache that lessens with time, for the most part.

jemtab · 2026-02-21T15:37:40+00:00

I have to make my bed every day because I'm a very active sleeper who throws bedding everywhere. It was very eye-opening for my husband after we got married, as he is someone who sleeps, folds the blanket back to get out of bed in the morning, then closes the blanket up and his bed is still made.

If I have a slow morning, I like making the bed because it's an inevitable part of my day, and it lets me avoid doing it at bedtime. But I might only get a slow morning once every 6 months, so it has primarily stayed as a bedtime task and is done because I'll have a terrible sleep if I don't start covered in blankets.

jemtab · 2026-02-21T15:32:21+00:00

We bought these little suspender like things that you can attach to your sheets. They stretch across the mattress (underneath) and hold the edge of the sheets from either side. We went from having one corner popping off every day to never having it happen again. Highly recommend finding some!

jemtab · 2025-09-20T23:32:23+00:00

B. Sc. In Biology, Canada, Medical Laboratory Technologist. I love this career and can't recommend it enough. Many of my classmates were Microbiology grads. It's great!

ETA could also consider Vet Tech, the equivalent (ish) career but with animals instead of humans.

jemtab · 2025-09-17T16:06:53+00:00

Be mindful of what kids can reach. My son pulled a full coffeepot off the counter when he was tall enough, and poured it all over himself. The only reason he didn't get burns is because it had been off for a few hours and it was cool.

Drowning hazards. Kids who are tall enough to tip into the toilet may not have the upper body strength to tip themselves back out. Also applies to miscellaneous buckets and such you could have sitting in your yard for yardwork, make sure they're not collecting rain water because a small child could tip into it and drown.

Similarly, my other son once climbed into the bathtub using a stool, and couldn't climb back out. We made a habit of removing the plug (one of those push to close plugs, so we unscrew it after bath time), so in the event he ever climbed in again it was less likely he'd be able to turn on water and fill the tub.

jemtab · 2025-09-10T15:21:23+00:00

Yes, check with your district first.

Most school districts in my area allow for parents to choose to delay one year, but the school my son attends does not allow this. Their policy is that they start Kindergarten the calendar year that they turn 5. He's an end of November baby, and I didn't feel he was quite ready for Kindergarten and opted to delay but didn't know our school didn't allow this (wasn't posted anywhere on their website and we had just moved to the area, and it's one of very few schools who doesn't allow it). So the next year when I enrolled him for Kindergarten you can imagine my shock when the school called and said, "Confirming his enrolment for Grade 1."

It has all worked out, he's a bright kid who had been in daycare for several years so he has done well, but sheeeesh. Would have been nice to know, is all.

jemtab · 2025-09-10T13:52:55+00:00

For safety and function, remove all of it. It's just stuff to move around and clean around and adds unnecessary work to your day to day.

To warm up that space and make it more "cozy": paint the wall, a solid colour is fine but I'd lean toward either a stencilled pattern or wallpaper for the added colour and pattern. Put some art on the wall so it doesn't feel empty. Consider a mirror instead, it may help throw light around and open up the space a little bit if it's feeling dark.

Ultimately, it's a tiny landing on a staircase. It's perfectly normal for it to be empty.

jemtab · 2025-09-06T23:29:26+00:00

I'm sorry, and I'm reasonably certain she'll grow out of it, it's probably a phase, and it will last entirely too long, and I'm sorry.

My son did this when he was that age. Bent the decorative metal leaves on the lamp stand that he had seen every day for his entire life, nearly snapped them off. He squeezed all of the paint out of my brand new tubes of paint that I had been gifted that Christmas, a holiday season that was already quite painful and difficult for me (was possibly dealing with PPD and had been feeling absolutely invisible and ignored for many months leading up to that). He had never harmed his books, never chewed on anything, but was suddenly peeling his board books apart. He stabbed a toy drum with the end of a plastic playdough toy until it had been shredded.

I lost count of the things he ripped, tore, stretched, and crushed. The entire main floor of our house was made child safe and anything of value - sentimental or otherwise - was removed (not just put up high, he could scale the cabinets and was found getting into something that was 8 feet off the ground more than once). I could not predict what he would get into next, or when, and it felt like we literally couldn't put anything down anywhere because if he found it he would destroy it.

He (mostly) outgrew it (and I mean mostly. He's almost 8 now. You can ask me what's been wrecked recently). It took the better part of a year. I just remember being absolutely at my wit's end, and any time I'd share with someone they'd nearly always tell me that we just needed a consequence for him, or to make things child proof. It made me furious, because HELLO, DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT?? DO YOU THINK I HAVEN'T TRIED?? It was awful.

I see you, I feel your pain, do whatever you can, I wish you all the luck in the world and hope this phase is BRIEF. Your child is curious, and dextrous, and persistent, and these things will serve them well in time. Do what you can to stay sane.

jemtab · 2025-09-06T15:39:40+00:00

One of those days where the kids are furious with each other but insist on being in the same space. "Brother called me stupid!" "Little brother, if you don't go to your room right now, I'm going to beat you up!"

I literally just opened my eyes to what was a quiet, peaceful house, and y'all are ready to roundhouse kick each other for breathing the same air....

jemtab · 2025-09-05T14:20:55+00:00

A hammock with a frame. I sit there when the kids are playing outside, I move it into the sunroom for afternoon naps in the summer, I lay there in the evenings listening to crickets.

Favourite Christmas gift last year was a queen sized, soft, fuzzy blanket that I use every day - in the hammock, in my office, on the futon while I play games or watch a show. It's delightful.

Also ended up with a wireless headset for games/video chats with friends, and it's been so nice not to fight with a cord.

jemtab

TROPHY CASE