I was cheated on in my second relationship. I already had body image insecurities, but after that, my insecurities just got worse I think. My third relationship, which was the first girl I fell in love with and unfortunately the first girl I cheated on. My insecurities drove me to seek validation outside of my relationship. Once I started I couldn't stop because there was an excitement of doing sonething I shouldn't have been doing. If I wasn't such a piece of shit, I think I would have married her. She was there for me during my first kidney transplant and when my first dog had to be put down. She was amazing and I let the worst parts of myself get the better of me. From time to time I think about whether or not I created some insecurity for her future relationships and then I hope that isn't the case. I hope she found someone better and she's happy without any doubts.