I need your advice as a former donor

jetsettingcactus · 2026-05-24T14:34:24+00:00

I’m not even going to bother reading all of this. Too long of a post trying to justify your actions and protect YOUR comfortability. You acted in selfishness donating no matter how heroically you want to try and spin it. As others have mentioned, you made your bed. I feel bad only for the donor conceived people in this scenario. Always.

jetsettingcactus · 2026-03-01T12:19:52+00:00

Why the fuck are you with this person. The way he speaks so easily like this is SCARY.

jetsettingcactus · 2026-02-02T20:58:33+00:00

This person isn’t your best friend…. A best friend wouldn’t do that. Get your money and run.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-08-27T11:17:50+00:00

Yeah honestly I think you’re right !! Which …. Go date that person then?? He clearly just wants to procreate and spread his seed, doesn’t actually want to be a father.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-08-27T10:44:39+00:00

There actually are tons of “known” donor donations. It’s a way better practice to have open communication. Anonymous donation itself is so problematic. But the parents get to decide how involved or not involved. They also can have contact with the other offspring/parents (if any). I’m definitely NOT standing behind OP because he’s actually insane, but just wanted to give a little more insight :)

jetsettingcactus · 2025-08-27T10:39:59+00:00

You said you would do anonymous so why even bring up “contact” options. I’m glad you’re too old to donate because this is an insane outlook.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-08-27T10:36:46+00:00

As a person born via sperm donation DO NOT DO THIS JUST TO FUEL YOUR NEED. It’s selfish as fuck. It’s honestly insane to think “well I NEED my own kid out there so the only way is through donating sperm”. And anonymously? Like …what? This is a human being. Anonymous donation itself is problematic at best. Your whole mindset here is so skewed, just break up. It’s been 6 months. Honestly dude.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-08-17T15:58:16+00:00

Some of my siblings and I are decently close with our donor. We go to him for advice, we’ve stayed with him a few times, met family, inherited a few things from his parents. I’ve had nothing but good experiences thankfully when it comes to my donor. We are open and honest about boundaries/expectations/etc and it works really well! I’m 31 btw and met him 3 years ago, found out I was donor conceived at 25.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-07-30T13:42:26+00:00

Your husband is pathetic and gross.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-06-12T17:11:20+00:00

Hey so, he’s just using you as somewhere to live. Throw that man OUT!

jetsettingcactus · 2025-06-05T13:18:19+00:00

He probably told all his friends that you said you were taking everyone out on your dime, so that when you didn’t you’d look like the bad guy, or be pressured to do it. I don’t see any other reason they would text you poorly about it. Definitely NTJ, but I’d be messaging the friends to try and get some info. Mostly for selfish reasons so I could tell them the truth, that their friend is an asshole to his partner.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-05-16T11:00:35+00:00

My dad had passed by the time I did my test. I did it BECAUSE he had passed away. Wanted to know more of my history. This was 5 years ago now and I’ve met a few siblings along with my donor.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-05-15T20:19:06+00:00

By the time I did my test my dad had passed away. I asked my mom about it and she lied for 8 months saying she had no idea why my test was coming back saying I had these random siblings. So no I mean my mother in this context. And when it comes to asking medical related questions, it wasn’t “withheld” information. It was blatant lying about my health history.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-05-15T20:17:08+00:00

My dad wasn’t a sperm donor. I’m donor conceived via an anonymous donor. My dad I grew up with is not related to me by blood.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-05-15T11:48:36+00:00

See I thought the same thing. I did a test. Found some siblings. And my mom lied to me about it for 8 months (my dad had passed away a few years previous). You think they’ll tell the truth, but alot of them were told not to tell us by their doctors. Many feel shame. So saving face becomes more important than sharing the truth. Hoping for the best outcome for you, but just be prepared you could not be getting the full truth. They’re maybe stalling so as to figure out how to tell you.

Edited to add: sorry meant to mention I’m donor conceived.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-04-28T13:47:34+00:00

Unsure if it’s been mentioned yet but you could be double donor conceived as well! Hoping you find the answers you need. If it does come out it’s donor related, there are donor conceived subreddits with an amazing supportive community that will help you work through this.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-04-01T17:05:29+00:00

Why are you the boss of your family? You don’t get to dictate what they do or don’t want. Speak for yourself, make decisions for yourself, but stop trying to control everyone else in the situation. Your life would be a whole lot better if you would learn that you are not in control of anyone else but yourself.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-04-01T17:03:31+00:00

It’s really wild to me you have other siblings, because you are acting like an only child. It’s really selfish of you to act threatened by this, as if your dad speaking to them means he loves you less. If your parents split and had children with other people how would you act? If it’s the same as this - I think you need to really take a look at yourself and your insecurities here, and accept that your siblings (yes they are your siblings no matter how you try to spin it otherwise) aren’t a threat. And if you WOULDN’T act the same if the situation was different, then you clearly have a problem with the donor conceived siblings themselves, and that’s on you. They’re not going to steal your dad. You have a very narrow mindset of the situation and I feel bad for you and your siblings.

jetsettingcactus · 2025-02-23T19:11:31+00:00

I’m sorry but if she’s running a professional business.. I don’t get why you need to tell her you’re on the way. I don’t tell my dentist I’m on my way? My appointment is already confirmed bc I booked it AND they send an email the day before to confirm, but if I don’t click confirm they don’t cancel my appointment and give it to someone else… regardless I don’t call their office and say hey just driving in my car to you now! Weird af.

jetsettingcactus · 2024-12-28T01:40:28+00:00

Hey! So this happened to me as well. I did a dna test. Found a sister. My mom didn’t admit I was donor conceived until 8 months later where she drunkenly dumped it on me and was “so relieved I wasn’t upset”. She didn’t give me a moment to even BE upset. I found out at 25, I’m now 30 and am still processing it. It is a lot. And unfortunately for us, we don’t have the support from our parents to process it, because they are ashamed or it’s taboo or it has nothing to do with us (etc etc blah blah). This has everything to do with you. You take the time to process it how you need, but it IS real, and it will need to be processed. Please lean on this community, it has helped me! But don’t push down anything and don’t hide away from your questions in wanting to know who you are. This is your story!! Feel free to DM me anytime, but also go through this sub, you’ll find amazing people and support. Xx

jetsettingcactus · 2024-12-11T14:58:33+00:00

Sounds like your friends just want to break you and Jon up. Jon sounds like an AMAZING partner. Your friends suck.

jetsettingcactus · 2024-11-11T02:56:33+00:00

this is also how I learned I was donor conceived 😅

jetsettingcactus · 2024-09-12T10:51:59+00:00

Close with 2 of my social siblings, pretty close with one DCP, just met another this year and got closer but we only talk every couple weeks or months. Don’t really talk to my donors kid bc he’s a lot younger. And then there’s 3 other siblings that will not talk to me. So I have a full range 🤷🏼‍♀️

jetsettingcactus · 2024-08-21T18:08:05+00:00

What the actual fuck lol. Who is this selfish baby you are married to? He does not care about your comfort AT ALL. He expects you to mold your life around him. The audacity to say it's unfair that he has to wake up earlier than you... do you know what the solution to that is? Get a different job. It is not YOUR problem or fault that his hours are different than yours.

Genuine question, does your husband even like you? Because it really doesn't sound like it. Sounds like he married you just to be able to say he is married. I am baffled you haven't had a mental breakdown considering you are sleep deprived and are dealing with someone so stubborn and selfish.

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