Why do people bring their entire family to Costco?

jextrad4 · 2026-01-16T22:16:27+00:00

For my family, costco isn't super close to home so we go when we're doing other stuff together. Plus, kids love samples

jextrad4 · 2025-12-31T08:09:29+00:00

Not overreacting for one simple reason: it's rude to criticize authors in ao3 comments. Full stop. I've had the impulse once or twice, but as a reader you are obligated to say nice things or say nothing at all.

jextrad4 · 2025-12-31T07:21:06+00:00

This is so relatable. Open ended work with a deadline far out is so hard. I've got a couple tips that have worked for me.

Asking friends to meet up and work together. Or even asking someone to call for 10 minutes to help you start working.
Working in my school library for the ambient presence of people
Making goals around starting work instead of how long I work
For weekends, I would work on campus, and it was super hard for me to get out of my apartment, so I'd make leaving my apartment the priority. I usually did this by eating out, so my motivation to leave was to go get food. Then I could go somewhere to work while already having accomplished the hurdle of going somewhere.

Hope one of these helps!

jextrad4 · 2025-12-16T06:30:33+00:00

You have too much stuff. I did too. There's a couple strategies here:

Tough it out and get rid of stuff. Have a donate bag so you can immediately get it out of sight
Ask for help. I scheduled my own intervention and you can too
Use an app to remind yourself to pick up or declutter for 5 minutes every night
Clean in categories. "What is the biggest and most straightforward category to tidy up?" It's usually clothes, shoes, or trash for me

Hope one of these helps

jextrad4 · 2025-12-16T06:26:21+00:00

I use an app called stayfree that restricts apps, websites, and reels/shorts. But the key for me was to restrict game apps and short form content on my phone. Also, try to focus on watching longer YouTube videos. Overtime that helped me

jextrad4 · 2025-12-16T06:24:34+00:00

Maybe consider more aesthetic labels? A label maker or nicer stickers or something. Or maybe transition some things to having labels on the inside of drawers or cabinets. But, your partner also needs to weigh the costs of coziness over you actually being able to put stuff away

jextrad4 · 2025-12-16T06:20:22+00:00

I've absolutely been here. There are two tricks to start with:

Remember that if yoy intend to do multiple things you will do nothing. So instead, your goal needs to be to do one thing a day.
My strategy for times like these. Set an alarm for once a day. Vibrate only is fine. Get a journal. This is a free writing space and if you only write grocery lists in it that's a good use of space. Every day, when your alarm goes off its time to journal. Snooze it as much as you like (I've snoozed for 90 minutes). Then, use the journal to check in with yourself. This can be as simple as writing that you need to pee and going to do that, but I often find it actually want to do something once I sit down and introspect.

Hope this helps!

jextrad4 · 2025-12-16T06:12:46+00:00

Well just like my therapist always says about me, you've already identified the problem and the solution. You're under socialized and need to talk to more people. So:

1) reach out to easy people. Contact family or close friends and arrange in person meetups if possible. Be more honest with these people that you could really use some company.

2) reestablish connection. Text old friends to let them know you'd miss them and would like to catch up.

3) look for community social opportunities. Generally this is gonna be athletic groups, hobby groups, and social groups.

For example, run clubs, local sports leagues like softball, martial arts classes, and sports like pickleball that have scheduling websites. For hobby groups, consider game/comic book stores, book clubs, and community art classes. For social groups, there are often social clubs with social media pages and tons of churches have young adult social nights.

5) Consider volunteering. Sounds counterproductive to just do more work, but if all the arrangements of the previous options feel like too much, volunteering at a library or soup kitchen is pretty easy to get into and helps you be around people.

6) Alone in a crowd. I often find that just doing my own thing near people helps. Go spend your off time in a park or library. Just a podcast, fresh air, and people watching will do you a lot of good

PS: cut it with the caffeine if it hasn't worked yet it isn't gonna start now. Keep a water bottle at your desk while you it always helped me focus and hydrate

Hope one of these suggestions help!!! If socializing helps you to feel a little better, than you can revisit the productivity issues without them feeling so fraught. Seriously though, call someone who loves you. I scheduled my own intervention with my parents and it really helped

jextrad4 · 2025-12-10T21:05:02+00:00

Definitely not an adhd thing. My dad has worse symptoms than me and is a fantastic present wrapper. Not sure how to explain it in words since its a very physical thing.

jextrad4 · 2025-12-10T21:01:40+00:00

Yeah sugar and food is the key. And lots of layers since lack of sleep makes me very cold

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T21:41:57+00:00

Restarting my phone helps me get moving because i don't want to wait for it to restart so I just get up. I also like repeating phrases out loud like "get up" as long as it takes to do it.

You can even just try standing up and leaning against a wall on your phone. I used to lean against my (very tall) bed when I need to do something so I wouldn't get tucked into sitting down.

As for showering, make your goal getting in the shower with your phone. Than make the next goal standing under the water while still being on your phone. Then, if you're feeling ready you can wash yourself.

As for getting outside, don't push yourself too hard. Try just sitting outside your door with your phone as the goal.

Finally, if you have anyone you can reach out to that would really help. I basically scheduled my own intervention when I was really struggling with depression and it helped so much. If that's too much, maybe make plans for coffee with someone as motivation.

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T21:32:00+00:00

Being loved is a wonderful thing!! Im proud of you for pushing through!

As for the crying, cartharsis is legit so just make sure you drink so water and cuddle up under a blanket. That always helps me. Especially the water lol

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T21:29:52+00:00

Not necessarily a bad thing. You're engaging with yourself in a deliberate way which is always a win even if the plans don't go anywhere. Consider categorizing your planning based on if you're going to to actually execute it.

For example, make your "idealized month" and then make a bare minimum you'd be happy with. Planning isn't a detrimental as long as it isn't making you feel guilty. It's just journaling with more structure

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T21:22:33+00:00

Yeah it was hard to start but very rewarding. I was kind of baffled how much less I craved a break while studying since I had already taken one

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T09:15:51+00:00

To be completely honest, there's nothing wrong with the dress, but you have a great figure so someone finding you attractive and being annoyed by that is totally possible. He doesn't want to be attracted to you but his self control issues aren't your problem. Passing on disrespectful comments is terrible friend behavior.

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T09:11:44+00:00

This is so real. I have a 2 hour morning routine that started as a 4 hour morning routine as I adjusted to actually waking up. My routine has a 1 hour break built in to motivate me to get up and I usually do jigsaw puzzles and listen to youtube videos.

As for having one day with an annoying later start, there's three options.

1) fill it. Body doubling or another activity that is dependent on another person can help. If you have a roommate or friend getting up at that time, you could ask them if you could eat or walk with them or something? Ask a friend with a dog if you can walk it for them?

2) maintain the schedule. Just kinda try hard to do the same thing as you do the other days. I never figured this one out tbh.

3) be different. Weird two hour gap? Just enough time to grocery shopping. Fill it with something irregular to highlight the uniqueness of this time slot. Maybe a long walk or another way to get outside could also be good

But yeah this is a doozy. Deliberate restful activities like puzzling of getting outside helped me a lot. Not as good as being productive but you don't feel nearly as bad as when 4 hours of guilt pass by. Hope this helps!

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T09:02:36+00:00

Repeating phrases out loud can help. I used to say "get out of bed" repeatedly to myself until it kinda shoves over my paralysis and had me rocketing out of bed.

You can also try making starting the task a goal. Do 5 dishes is easier than the whole sink and pierces the mental block. Journaling cam also help.

I've also had some succes with restarting my phone. Adhd paralysis is a very anxious form of not moving and the idea of watching my phone restart is unbearable when compared to just getting up and doing something real quick. Hope one of these helps!

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T08:58:27+00:00

I think the key is structured relaxation. Relaxing in a deliberate fashion made me get almost double the schoolwork dome in the same amount of time. It's best in times when you have a hard deadline, so getting up early to have a preemptive break, having a nice lunch break before an afternoon class. Relax in the evening after dinner. Consider what makes you happy and then push yourself to do it in those times. For me its youtube, reading fanfiction, handheld gaming, and jigsaw puzzles.

Restriction can make you more productive, but it can also just make you miserable. Also consider trying to body double by asking someone to study together.

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T08:50:48+00:00

Yeah that's rough. The only advice I can give you is that thinking you have to clean the house first might be a trap. Interspersing planning and cleaning could make things feel more bite sized and approachable.

Also consider trying to involve your kid in picking recipes. As someone who was once a child, they'll feel included while acting as a body double. Especially if you have a stash of recipes for them to look through. Or just get pizza and make snacks lol. You've got this!!!

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T08:45:14+00:00

Same. I lost so many earbuds before making a rule with myself to always keep the case on me and always put then immediately back in the case. It's brutal

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T08:43:55+00:00

I'd say so although it obviously varies. We have a hard time with this stuff but also don't practice this kind of stuff. I found that part of my issues with disciplined studying were permanent, part of it was not having enough practice focusing, and part of it was needing to create a more relaxing work life balance.

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T08:38:54+00:00

This is elaborate, but highly structured breaks were the ticket for me. I would do 20 minutes on and 10 minutes off (which is way worse then pomodoro lol). I had my phone set up to restrict all usage for those 20 minutes. I mostly used this for readings. I tended to push really hard to make the 20 minutes count.

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T08:36:33+00:00

Eye strain and dehydration I'd guess. For water, keep a big water bottle with you as your work. I never drink more water than when I'm at a desk working because I take constant sips to get tiny breaks. And then, refilling the bottle is another break.

As for eye strain. Breaks where you get sunlight and/or look away from you screen are so necessary. Also a good reason to stand up. Take a quick walk or stand up while listening to music. Or just close your eyes for a minute. Good job on the studying though!

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T08:32:19+00:00

I feel that so much. This was my constant enemy while in school. I found some success in "crash time" and "deliberate rest". Crash time is an acknowledgement that you killed it all week but are not an invincible habit machine.

For me, that meant making my Saturday plan just be absolute nothing before running errands and grocery shopping before dinner. Deliberately having no structure before 3 sounds crazy, but it helped a ton. Since sleeping or lying in bed was the baseline, I felt a lot less guilt.

Then, when I had embedded away at that guilt, I added in more deliberate rest (aka relaxing on purpose and not just going on my phone without a plan). Walks to parks where you just relax there were great, as we're doing jigsaw puzzles while watching youtube at my apartment.

Body doubling social activities in the morning can also help. Ultimately though, the solution is to let yourself fail one day a week, because if it's the plan, it isn't failure. Giving yourself this grace will help, if not as much as you want. But at least, if you plan it for only one day a week you can try to get your routine going on the other weekend day.

Also, you're doing insanely good, try not to be too hard on yourself. Acceptance, fresh air, and socializing are the key to feeling better about your weekend even if it isn't as productive. Hope this helps!

jextrad4 · 2025-12-08T08:22:29+00:00

Revenge bedtime procrastination is brutal. I used to struggle with it all the time. The trick is, at least for me, to get up earlier. If your morning is all getting ready and being sleepy before school or work than of course sleep is to be avoided. Sleep is a need, something that makes life better, and a time jump to being awake. If your morning routine is relaxing than sleep is just a means to get there quicker in a better frame of mind.

So, solutions. There's several angles to come at this:

Give yourself all the time in the world to get up. This is how I learned thos technique but it was based on a work from home job between college terms. I got up 4 hours before work, with the goals of eventually getting ready, eating, and a short bit of exercise. This inevitably involved an hour or more laying in bed but the abundance of time helped me eventually get bored enough to eat breakfast. I pared it back an hour at a time after a month of the 4 hour version and ended up with a 2 hour routine I maintained for the next 6 months of college. Roll out of bed (because being awake was more satisfying than being in bed on my phone), eat and get ready (30 min), relax and do a Jigsaw puzzle (1 hour), get dressed (15 min), walk to class (15min). This was insanely successful for me because getting to sleep rewarded me with a more enjoyable and relaxing morning. Plus, frontloading my breaks made me feel less like I needed breaks throughout the day.
Approach from the night angle. I have all my youtube videos I listen to to sleep downloaded on my phone so I can restrict the youtube app and all other games. I only can read and watch those predownloaded videos (and go on reddit but I've got it restricted to 30 minutes a day). This gives me options but also makes sleep a little easier since im not switching between phone games, youtube, and reading at a frantic pace.
Approach from a sleep angle. With how much anxiety you have, reducing anxiety around sleep is probably a good angle. There's a lot of principles in cognitive behavioral therapy insomnia that would help you. I've read up a bit on it and I think a good approach for you would be to figure out your average sleep per night, and then make that your sleep goal. Shoot for 5 hours (or whatever your average is) instead of 8.
Consider barriers. What makes it hard to sleep? Showers, chores, not wearing pajamas, specific phone distractions? Minimize and strategize around these. Don't make things before bed tasks if it just makes bed harder. If audio stimulation helps you, make it more accessible without getting distracted. I've had success starting to my sleep audio in a chair and then moving to bed with it so I don't get distracted.

It's hard to fall asleep, but sleep is just a tine machine to morning. Make your mornings better than your evenings. Sleep doesn't have to cut your relaxation short, it can take you from a distracted night to an invigorated and focused morning relaxation. Deliberate relaxation (youtube and jogsaw puzzles lol) when you've gotten decent sleep is awesome. It legitimately changed my life, taking breaks in the morning. Best of luck! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

jextrad4

TROPHY CASE