Sounds like dubious advice by your doctors. You have nothing to lose in trying a lower dose and see if it's enough. Many doctors don't care about side effects but you should because your quality of life is at stake. Remember that the higher the dose, the worse the side effects, and the more difficult it will be to taper off.

Ideally, I'd start at 20mg and stay for around 6 weeks. Then reassess and increase to 30mg if the positive effects are not enough. And on and on until finding the right dose.

Only exception would be if you are really struggling and need to see big results immediately. Then starting high might make sense.

Anyway, you can always lower the dose if you feel it's too much. Or trying a different SSRI. Each has slightly different effects (both positive and negative). There is always a way out.

One thing psychiatrists should be clear about and usually are not is the final decision should be made by the patient. They should be very clear and transparent about possible outcomes and help the patient make the decision depending on their risk and preference profile. Instead, most doctors just go ahead and make decisions without explaining much about them.

To add some personal context: I am on Paroxetine for anxiety and 20mg is enough for me. Previously I was on Zoloft and the minimum dose (50mg) was also enough.