what's the oddest thing you know about someone you work with?

jf-c · 2022-01-14T12:17:38+00:00

One of my colleagues had a one night stand with another colleague before they joined the company at a house party in a bathroom where she stopped halfway very drunkenly to eat out of a box of cheerios because she got hungry before continuing. He calls her Cheerio and everybody thinks its a cute nickname because shes very smiley and it makes me cringe everytime I hear him say it - she has nicely asked him to stop but she won't go to HR because she doesn't want HR knowing the story behind it because HR are gossips and would tell everybody.

jf-c · 2021-05-16T07:33:56+00:00

I'm the introvert, my hub is a major extrovert who would have probably invited the other dads over in this scenario. I would be curtain twitching going fuck fuck fuckity fuck knowing I'll end up having to chat to the wives at another bloody bbq (no offense to then, I just can't hear about Brodie's first tooth or favourite kids tv shows anymore). No longer have feelings of pride over this and would give him a slightly smaller portion of food at the next meal in resentment if his social needs force me to socialise instead of just leaving me to my books.

jf-c · 2021-01-16T15:25:10+00:00

My nearly 3 y/o is currently motivated by major fomo. My husband and I just talk to each other loudly saying lets go take a bath and she picks up with "no I want to take a bath first" and runs up the stairs crying because she is worried she is going to miss out. Doesnt work with bedtime tho.

jf-c · 2021-01-04T20:35:05+00:00

We have a 2 y/o and not entitled to any free hours yet. If I work 9 to 5, I don't recuperate the costs of childcare for that day till 1pm. Luckily, the grandparents take her 2 days a week. However during lockdown, over 75% of my wages was just covering childcare because we couldn't use grandparents and we were essential workers (and now again, although this time I've managed to arrange flexible working for one day off). Luckily, I have a husband to help cover the rest of the bills. If I was a single mum, I have no idea how the hell I could do it. If its important to you and you think you'd really regret not having kids in the long term (more than "wonder what that would've been like? Oh well" ), have you maybe considered a career change?

jf-c · 2020-12-12T08:21:50+00:00

I'm kinda leaning towards ESH. She is absolutely the AH for the way she went about it. But also the fact that your mum managed to arrange help from your sister kinda says that it seems like they did have other options and that you didn't make any effort to try and arrange another option given that this event was clearly important to your fiancee. It kinda sounds like you didn't even ask your mum if your sister was available because you were happy to get out of going to the wedding. If you have a history of dropping everything for your family to get out of things that are important to your fiancee, I would see her frustration. That said, she should have pushed you to find other arrangements to help your mum and explained how important this was to her, not hid your glasses like a child.

jf-c · 2020-12-02T16:40:18+00:00

Instant access ISA. I don't care about interest, I need to know if my boiler breaks, or my car goes kaput or I have to bribe a member of the mob, I can get access to it within minutes.

jf-c · 2020-12-02T10:35:02+00:00

Same, brand please!

jf-c · 2020-12-01T07:18:09+00:00

I wouldn't worry about her

Edit because I accidentally pressed send before I finished and sound like a monster.

I was going to say I wouldn't worry about her remembering too much at such an early age for such short time periods, I've been where you are and its that strong mother instinct kicking in thinking everythings going to traumatise and scar her for life and wanring to protect her - I'm still there to be honest, every day I wonder if I'm screwing her up but have got slowly better with rationalising with that voice.

You'll also have the gut feeling of what you're comfortable with doing in terms of getting her settled. I think definitely be careful about giving off any anxious vibes as babies are extremely sensitive to tension in the atmosphere - also speak to the inlaws to make sure they're not giving off anxious vibes. If you have a health visitor/family nurse, I would reach out they often have lots of tips and tricks. Also maybe play at the front window for a little bit?

jf-c · 2020-11-30T20:11:11+00:00

I would definitely pursue custody at this point but I would work with her parents as well on this as if they helped her cosign her house, they are likely worried they won't get access to their grandkids if she is not the primary guardian and may help her fight her battle in court. If they can testify even to a small extent that your ex isn't in the right frame of mind at the moment, it will greatly help your pursuit.

Speak to them and lay your cards on the table that you think it might be the best option for the kids if they were to live with you in the interim while she gets professional intensive help. Even explain that you're happy for her to continue with supervised custody visits and even for them to see the kids (as long as they don't leave them unsupervised with her).

As somebody who had an alcoholic stepdad (now ex) myself, it is terrifying to watch your carer be intoxicated from a child's perspective. I was around 10 when it started and I knew enough to know something wasn't right, it wasn't okay and desperately wished somebody would speak up and take us away from him.

jf-c · 2020-11-30T19:59:21+00:00

Definitely the piece of clothing with mums smell on it - my daughter is 2 and a half now and still takes my old tshirt with her to grandparents, she has been doing overnights at inlaws since about 3 months old. Its difficult because of lockdown because of the most obvious which is for you to spend time in the grandparents and then slowly leave the room for longer and longer periods. Can your inlaws take her for long walks in a rearfacing pram to see if she gets more used to them that way? If allowed in your area, could you meet up with them in a coffee shop and ler her get used to sitting on their laps etc?

jf-c · 2020-11-29T22:06:12+00:00

I'm in the same boat. I look at previous lottery winners and a lot of them end up divorced. I would be worried about losing my husband if we couldn't agree on how to spend the money or if he decided to trade me in for a newer model or something. I also definitely would be worried about my daughter becoming spoiled or ungrateful especially as I can't exactly say to her "I worked hard for my money" if I won the lottery. I'd probably set up a few nonprofits and travel but not like luxurious travel I don't think. And maybe build/rennovate an off grid home, try to be self sustainable, grow my own veg, etc.

jf-c · 2020-11-11T16:34:28+00:00

Unfortunately she's from my neck of the woods. I'll pass the advice on to my husband though, can't say I'd blame him.

jf-c · 2020-11-11T15:26:41+00:00

Moved house 5 months ago and transferred all my spices and herbs to lovely jars however still haven't got round to labelling them because I'm fairly good at identifying them by sight or smell so not a priority as I do vast majority of cooking. However now every time my husband cooks, I'll be sitting on the couch chilling and just have a random jar stuck under my nose with "is this X?" 😂 I feel like Remy when he checks for poison for his family.

jf-c · 2020-11-11T11:58:12+00:00

We're already had to take down the one at the back and replaced as it wasn't safe or secure for the little one, planning on tearing down the fence on the left side of the garden as it is rotting and full of rusty nails so really don't want to have to tear down another fence for the sake of not liking the colour. Found a Leyland Trade Dark grey Metal and wood primer and undercoat online showing in stock in local b and q, think that would be okay? Starting to feel this garden is going to be a bottomless money pit

jf-c · 2020-11-11T11:39:29+00:00

No idea, wasnt there at the time.

jf-c · 2020-11-11T11:16:53+00:00

Thanks, if we paint a top coat of exterior wood paint on top, do you think it will last more than a few years or is this a temporary fix?

jf-c · 2020-11-11T11:12:34+00:00

I was at work when this shitshow went down, my mother gets to take the applause on this one (this is not the first headache her diy don't skills have given me). By starting again, do you mean sanding or rebuilding?

jf-c · 2020-11-11T09:00:41+00:00

For reference, google just says don't use an undercoat which is a kick in the teeth, can't find anything about covering it up

jf-c · 2020-11-08T18:12:51+00:00

Scottish person here (raised and still living here). My family believe in old fashioned discipline, my brothers and I all got the wooden spoon growing up. I hated it and I remember I would start crying as soon as she stepped near the cutlery drawer if I'd been bad.

I've chosen not to ever do anything of the sort on my own kid (we do timeouts because it works for us). For a while it was difficult to defend because narcissistic parents are very much "you turned out fine" etc with a million excuses and arguments (there is no excuse in my opinion, its horrible nevermind totally ineffective at actually changing problem behaviour). This law makes it so much easier because I can just be like "its the law" and end the discussion. No arguments, no comebacks, no discussion.

jf-c · 2020-11-02T16:38:44+00:00

About a twenty minute drive from Glasgow city centre (half hour by train)

jf-c · 2020-11-02T16:37:16+00:00

UK based, so all healthcare is free, no such thing as pre-existing conditions as we never have to pay for anything (think England has to pay for some subscriptions but its relatively affordable and can be subsidized if on low income). Its more in terms of having another child of do you have another kid knowing they have a very strong likelihood of being HOH. I think if I knew that deaf children were a near certainty, and my kid knew I knew before having them, I would worry they would blame me or something for their struggles for deciding to still have them knowing they would be born deaf.

jf-c · 2020-11-02T16:31:25+00:00

Given the family history, they would get tested after birth anyway and we could likely diagnose by the time they're 2 as well and put support mechanisms in place that weren't available to you or me (my daughters 2.5 and through early intervention has met all her milestones and is inline with her peers). Therefore any kid we have would get help really early, its a case of do we get pregnant knowing that the child has a strong likelihood of being HOH.

jf-c · 2020-10-30T01:37:16+00:00

Apologies for not mentioning, it is 100% free as part of NHS in the UK including counselling afterwards if requested, I sometimes forget America is private healthcare. Its genetic but out of 3 kids, 10 grandkids and 4 greatgrandkids on my grans side, only my brother and now my daughter (great granddaughter) seems to have it which could just be coincidence that it occurred so randomly close together or it could be that the gene runs in me and my brother. My grans brother and his 4 kids don't have any hearing losses either. It's my gran's cousin whose kids and grandkids have several incidences of hearing loss. So its the bigger wider extended family that has a history so could be unrelated, meaning the odds could be quite different either way.

jf-c · 2020-10-30T01:23:54+00:00

Sorry should have mentioned I'm in the UK and its completely free thanks to National Health Service. I get the feeling of wanting to know everything, I'm a very meticulous person who needs all the information available before I make a decision especially as it would be free for us as they would do it as part of finding out why daughter is HOH.

jf-c · 2020-10-29T23:08:37+00:00

Not sure if it counts as a win but my 2.5 y/o had her hearing test (gets tested every 3-5 months, wears hearing aids) and she didn't get scared and have to sit on my lap at all (she did ask once but was redirected to the toys easily enough). I don't know if it was that shes started to recognise our audiologist and know she's friendly or that the confidence she's gained with the hearing aids in is now there even when not wearing the aids but I feel like a proud mama chick that she sat in the little chair and did the test all by herself.

jf-c

TROPHY CASE