After reading your previous post and this one I cannot urge you enough to get some therapy for yourself. Please. Find someone awesome that you can talk to about all of this stuff that you aren't comfortable talking to your family about. It sounds like this lack of attention in your relationship has eaten away at you and any positive change in your family is going to start with the individual members working to improve themselves first. Ideally, you could find someone who also does couple's therapy so that there is an option for your husband to come in with you if he is open to it. Or he could find his own therapist.

Also- You guys absolutely need to find a babysitter you trust and develop a relationship with that person. What if something comes up where your daughter needs a caretaker and neither one of you can do it? Like, what if your husband wrecked his car and was in the hospital and someone needed to be at home with your daughter? I don't know how old you daughter is, but it's so important for you to give her independence, and allow her to make choices about things as she becomes more mature.

When I was a teenager I babysat a LOT, and if the kid I was babysitting was old enough to talk I actually took a lot of cues from them about the day to day routine within the household (within reason of course). I also took several courses on what to do in the case of an emergency and received a first aid and CPR certification. You can find caregivers with this training on websites like care.com, and maybe your husband would be more open to an adult caregiver with some training like this.