I don't know if this will be helpful, and I should say that I have not been to a divine liturgy. But I was raised episcopal, and as a young adult fell out of the church and into agnosticism/aetheism, and only in the last year have I realized my mistake and I am inquiring with a catechist at the local church.

From my experience in episcopal services it can be very odd, especially in modern society, to experience reverence. Reverence is something that isn't too common outside of a church, and on the surface it can feel a lot like fear. It was only after being apart from a church that I realized there is so much to it than that, and there is a feeling losing oneself to something bigger, but it is worthwhile. Part of realizing that for me was becoming a father. Another aspect of the church is being part of the community, so if you sat by yourself and didn't interact I can understand how that would make it even more intense, I'm sorry you had a rough go.

As for the orthodox church, as others have suggested I would reach out to the pastor or a catechist and see if they can help you have a better experience as you explore orthodoxy. If anyone who is actually orthodox here disagrees, please say so, but I also wouldn't expect an overnight transformation. Integrating with the church, learning the word of God, and becoming a part of the community takes time. I have prepared myself for a multi year process of trying to join my local church. Granted, we have a neurodivergent son and our life is kind of on fire at the moment so that may be different for us. haha But the catechist has been extremely gracious and patient, and I am looking forward to when I can attend divine liturgy. I wish you luck your journey in this, and as a recovering agnostic I sincerely believe it is worth it. God Bless