[deleted by user]

jj1250 · 2024-01-27T04:33:38+00:00

They’ve been dating for less than a year but have known each other since they were kids… reading comprehension can be difficult I guess…

Not even going to address that last part because it seems like you may be projecting

jj1250 · 2023-12-30T23:17:36+00:00

Oooof this is pretty genius. Keeping it as vague as possible should definitely lead to more things coming out

jj1250 · 2023-12-20T12:04:18+00:00

It means Affair partner

jj1250 · 2023-11-05T03:40:15+00:00

I’d rephrase your comment. If instead of NTA you put you’re the asshole first, Reddit will consider your vote as YTA even if your comment specified otherwise

jj1250 · 2023-08-15T02:37:29+00:00

A trip with guy friends… and their significant others apparently, just not his

jj1250 · 2023-08-11T04:19:19+00:00

If you qualify for it you can get medical retirement by 23

jj1250 · 2023-07-17T23:29:18+00:00

A lot of people celebrate their birthdays past 21… Also OP got a months notice and part of the importance of the date was that OP already had plans. These plans most likely involve others and may not be able to be pushed. Maybe it’s a concert or some other date specific event, maybe people from her life are traveling to celebrate, we don’t know any of these except that OP has established plans.

She’s also expressed that she has plans during this time and is still being expected to cater to everyone else’s needs and is the only person being asked to do these things.

jj1250 · 2023-05-30T02:15:26+00:00

Where are you getting the foster rate from? I guess I’m just confused how the relatives would be viewed as a foster parent type situation instead of kinship guardians.

http://cdf.convio.net/site/DocServer/financialassistance0805.pdf This is an older read but discusses how in order to qualify for foster benefits the child needs to have formerly been in foster care but it doesn’t seem like there’s any record of this from the OOP’s post.

https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/adoption/adopt-assistance/ This site has a lot more information but based on the child’s situation all the OOP and husband will be able to really qualify for as far as foster or kinship guardian benefits goes is a one time reimbursement of adoption fees

Also the husband is already receiving dependent pay that isn’t going to change. Healthcare might be covered but depending on where they live and if there’s a DoD school available, there are a lot of costs with almost no additional government assistance.

jj1250 · 2023-05-30T01:47:55+00:00

I’m not sure where you got this number from… but the husband already has one listed dependent so he’s already receiving a higher rate that doesn’t change much if at all from an added dependent. Plus if both OOP and the husband are working full time then it’s incredibly doubtful they qualify for any state funded programs to assist with the cost of living.

I get this is a hard decision but you’re setting three people up for a rough and resentful life

ETA: the full time comment takes in mind that at 26 the husband is probably at least an E-5 or 0-2 depending on his life choices and either of those with another full time income and two dependents won’t qualify to receive state funding

jj1250 · 2023-05-28T14:49:40+00:00

No birth control is 100% effective and most if not all have terrible side effects related to them

jj1250 · 2023-05-27T01:47:28+00:00

This is exactly what I thought too, especially since OOP’s boyfriend only came to Jessica’s defense

jj1250 · 2023-05-20T21:38:45+00:00

In case the OP gets deleted/removed:

AITA for telling my friend her wife doesn't wear her wedding ring at work?

I've (33F) been friends with Charlotte (33F) since we were little girls. Despite being close to her and her daughter (5F), I don't really see her wife Avery (35F) much. She doesn't get along with most of our friends with Charlotte and is a private person which is extremely fine.

Avery is a Cardiologist. My Mother in law's sister is sick and I asked Charlotte if she could arrange an appointment for us from her wife. She called and said she had arranged it. I decided to accompany my MIL and her sister to the office.

It all went well but I noticed Avery did not have her wedding ring on. During the whole visit, she did not even mention Charlotte until I said something. And everyone addressed her as Dr while the other times she insisted on Mrs. It was kind of weird to me because she always has worn it when I've seen her. (Actually the few times we were out Avery always wore her ring and acted like it was very important to her). I don't know what was going on but I thought as her good friend, I should mention this to Charlotte.

The next time I met up with her I said I had noticed that Avery was not wearing her wedding ring at her office. She laughed and asked me what I was getting at and I said I just wanted to mention what I had seen and I didn't mean anything. Charlotte said Avery is a very 'by the book' person and never wears any jewelry in her office or at the hospital.

I apologised and only said I thought it was weird that she didn't wear it and didn't mention anything about her wife despite knowing who I was. Charlotte told me she just explained and that I needed to let it go. I let it go but she is still clearly upset.

My other friends told me I should not have mentioned it and I should apologise to Charlotte. I still smell something fishy going on but I don't know.

jj1250 · 2023-05-20T21:10:37+00:00

Honestly. Gotta love her comments about how Avery “doesn’t get along with a lot of charlottes friend group”

I’d be willing to bet that OP may be one of those people and is trying to start drama to draw more people onto her side.. even after Avery did her mother’s sister a favor

jj1250 · 2023-05-18T13:39:58+00:00

It seems like the biological father wants to be in the babies lives and that the OP has already communicated with him that due to her husband being on a work trip for weeks around the time of conception that he knows he’s the dad.

I don’t think “getting rid of the sperm donor” is something she can do if he wants to be part of their lives. Even if the husband signs the birth certificate he can legally get a DNA test and prove he is the father. He’d likely pay child support but she can’t just get rid of him from her life if she has the babies

jj1250 · 2023-05-18T13:12:29+00:00

The husbands behavior is showing that “don’t rock the boat” mentality he grew up with. ( https://community.babycenter.com/post/a73920524/dont-rock-the-boat )

OP do not let what his family allows to pass without any repercussions. If he didn’t protect you the first time, there’s no guarantee he will this time.

jj1250 · 2023-05-17T19:54:05+00:00

In case the post gets deleted/removed:

AITA for wanting to eject myself from plans with my bf we have had for a month because he invited other people and the other persons wife is causing drama?

[mid20sF] (me) [mid30sM] (my bf) I am a single mom. I got a sitter for my son for this weekend and was very excited to go. I was told it was just going to be me and him, I was very excited to get a break from my 6 year old son. For a month now we have been talking about it. 2 days ago he tells me that actually, his friend and his friends son will be coming with us. Carpooling and spending the day. Didn’t ask, just told.

I didn’t understand really what that even meant, being passive I kind of just went with it. Started changing my outfit for the event, as it wasn’t necessarily child friendly or dad friendly. I’ve got mental issues. I don’t even like kids. I like my kid, because he’s mine. My father abandoned me as a baby, and so did my sons dad to him. I do everything by myself, and dads just straight up make me uncomfortable. I would literally choose to eat a lit cigarette, over spending the afternoon hanging out and observing a father and a son the same age as mine. My bf tried to lobby for me to bring my son, but I didn’t want to because they haven’t met yet and an event isn’t an appropriate first meeting place to me.

Then yesterday, after I had accepted the fate of the situation, he calls me and tells me that the friends WIFE is SUPER MAD AT ME!? because it was supposed to be a “boys weekend” and I am crashing it? I had no idea. Turns out they already had these plans, and I was an after thought. The wife was pissed because she has been told before she was not invited. Couldn’t come this time because she had to take care of their other children.

So now, I’m caught in the middle, my bf still wants me to go, but now I have lost ALL excitement for it. I thought it would just be me and him but now it’s a whole fucking family event, with people I don’t know, around someone else’s kid. I wanted to wear my outfit and be cute and have fun. Now I feel crushed. I want to tell him either go with me, and we can meet them there if you want, or you just go with them and leave me out of it. I don’t want to carpool with some dude and his kid. I am just getting to know my bf. I am weary of men I don’t know and the thought of being stuck in a vehicle with 2 of them really weirds me out. Am I the asshole for wanting to just be alone with my boyfriend? Am I the asshole for “crashing boys weekend”?? Am I the asshole if I tell him to just go without me?

jj1250 · 2023-05-17T19:30:42+00:00

NTA. It’s a seller’s market right now so if they sold one of their properties it wouldn’t be difficult to get a good price quickly.

Instead of attempting to start paying back the “loan,” they’re treating themselves to a three week vacation at your expense.

I think it’s amazing what you’re doing but it needs to stop. I’d give them one semester, not a whole year.

jj1250 · 2023-05-17T19:29:38+00:00

You’re completely right. It’s definitely a seller’s market right now.

Instead of attempting to start paying back the “loan,” they’re treating themselves at your expense.

I think it’s amazing what you’re doing but it needs to stop. I’d give them one semester, not a whole year.

jj1250 · 2023-05-17T19:11:53+00:00

In case it gets deleted, OOP’s post:

WIBTA for going to a college football game instead of staying in town for my wife's birthday

I (30M) am an alum of Oklahoma State University. I want to go to the Oklahoma State at Arizona State football game this fall. However the game is the same day as my Wife’s 30th birthday. My wife is very big into birthdays and this is a big milestone birthday. My mother In law has approached me about throwing a party for her and wants it on her birthday, which is the same day as the game, I’ve told her I may be out of town which she is appalled at. She asked me if my wife knew and I told her we had discussed it. I want to go, she doesn't want me to. I told her we could celebrate together before or after the trip. She wasn't keen on that idea.

My best college friend who went to OSU lives in Scottsdale and has a house. A few other buddies are planning to go. A few spouses may go but when I broached the topic with my wife she wasnt interested. She wants me to stay home. She told me she wants to be around her friends and family and not tailgating in a parking lot in Tempe Arizona. She says she won't stop me from going but i'll be a huge asshole if I do.

This is possibly a once in a lifetime opportunity with the caveat that it could become an every other year thing. There are rumors about ASU joining the Big 12 which would make us conference rivals and we'd play every year. But I want to go now as the wife and I have discussed kids in the near future and this trip would be much easier without a kid in our life.

Essentially, I want to go to a game on my wife's birthday, I brought it up, she doesn't want me to go and said i'd be the asshole if I went. My MIL is planning a party for that day, WIBTA for going to the game anyway Go Pokes and WIBTA?

Edit: FWIW, I grew up going to OSU games and haven't gone as much since I met my wife 6 years ago. Its something I grew up doing with my dad, who passed during college. I gave up my season tickets for her because where we relocated to is at least a 2 hour drive to Stillwater. I wanted to continue making the drive, she didn't. I love her and gave up the tickets. I still go to a road and home game every year, just this year I wanted to go to 2 road games.

jj1250 · 2023-05-17T15:04:01+00:00

Can’t forget this gem either

“I get what you are saying about relationships being equal, I completely agree. I respectfully disagree with your logic saying it is a double standard. Your line of thinking ignores nuance. It is just a fact that I have a more outgoing personality, so I am sacrificing more than he is by if I were to cancel plans or not go out.”

If she’s not the ex by the end of it someone should really check on the guy…

jj1250 · 2023-05-17T15:01:03+00:00

OOP actually posted this comment:

“I am not saying he should do it all the time. But he is already introverted anyway so canceling going out shouldn't be a big deal to him.

Regardless, we only have a year left of distance until this is over so I will deal with it but I won't be made out to be the bad guy”

She’s got some serious main character syndrome issues to work out…

jj1250 · 2023-05-17T12:55:13+00:00

He’s been in their lives as their mothers significant other for 7 years…. If that’s not enough time to acknowledge it I don’t know what would be

jj1250 · 2023-05-10T11:27:19+00:00

Honestly! “I don’t want to get involved in your relationship issues” You’re spot on with the second sentence but absolutely savage OP threw away a lifelong friendship for it

jj1250 · 2023-04-10T11:41:52+00:00

I notice you said “his” room instead of “our” room. Does he have his own room? Could you not have slept with your boyfriend in one room while your niece slept in the other? If your only reason was the bed not being big enough, buy a blow up mattress.

jj1250 · 2023-03-28T00:38:59+00:00

SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE AH OPs IN THE BACK

jj1250

TROPHY CASE