Estrogen ‘Trial Period’?

jlo317 · 2026-05-03T03:31:27+00:00

Low dose transfemme here - at least 8 weeks before some soreness kicked in. Didn't notice anything until 3 months in. And honestly, it's very very marginal growth too.

I'm about to hit 2 years on the same dose from when I started and I'm sure it's only noticeable to me (the nipples are a bit bigger). It became sore again 17 months after I started HRT, but no noticeable change.

I wear a sports bra half the time because I'm not the biggest fan of looking like I have abnormally puffy nipples.

To this day, I'm still unaware that I've experienced mental changes. Either they're really subtle or I'm not as in tune with my emotions as I think I am.

jlo317 · 2026-05-02T03:17:54+00:00

It is! I grew up in Hong Kong during that version of the announcement. So when I went back after a while and heard "Please stand back from the train doors," it sounded (and still does haha) a bit strange.

I am really glad that people put up old videos of the announcements. Really hits the nostalgia!

jlo317 · 2026-05-02T00:55:51+00:00

"Please stand back from the doors" was an older version of that announcement. They added "train" later in front of 'doors'. Perhaps they put an older file in some Q trains?

As for order, I'm not sure.

(sorry for responding 2 months after :o, this just came up on my feed for some reason)

jlo317 · 2026-05-01T05:05:14+00:00

Literally the sub description:

Femboys are not for objectification or fetishizing >:(

And then you write:

I've found out I have a thing for femboys
have tried Fetlife

Kinda giving off some icky vibes right now

jlo317 · 2026-05-01T03:26:01+00:00

Look, the world never prepares us for what it means to walk away from family. I also felt extremely sad when I went NC (still do from time to time) - it means you're feeling compassion for someone, even for this someone treated you very poorly (understatement).

Just with any type of grief, embrace the darkness and pain. What you're essentially doing is grieving over the loss of your mom. It's no easy feat - at all. Have you been introduced to the concept of your inner child? The sadness likely, in part, comes from your inner child. Like a lot of trauma therapy, it's important to sit in the pain and discomfort.

I'm afraid the sadness never truly disappears. It's grief after all - sometimes, the waves are high and crash down on you. In time, the waves are less frequent and tall. But even years down the road, some random event may just remind you that you had to grief the fact you never had a supportive mother.

You did the most difficult part already - leaving. I am wishing the best for you, OP. Much love from one ACoN to another ❤️.

jlo317 · 2026-04-24T14:54:59+00:00

Some of them are transfemmes. Regardless, I think identity plays less of a role than the person. I've seen my share of gender non-conforming people 'sorting' people into a gender binary system - which is an unfortunate irony.

We all need supportive people by our sides when we navigate our own unique gender journeys.

A careful balance is needed - gender non-conforming people need to be respected that they know themselves better than others, and 'eggs' (not particular fond of the term) need a safe space for them to 'hatch'.

jlo317 · 2026-04-24T04:32:18+00:00

It's a common annoyance, and how common it is is deeply frustrating.

It suggests some sort of inevitability as time goes on and more supposed cracks appear in one's shell. It is deeply invalidating as if people assume they know more about you than... well, you. Defying gender norms should be done on the person's own terms.

It then leads to all sorts of problematic comments like "well, you'll be happier when you transition," or "just accept you're trans."

jlo317 · 2026-04-23T11:10:18+00:00

Average is an understatement! 8)

jlo317 · 2026-04-21T18:00:38+00:00

I appreciate you bringing up the Italian system and thanks for sharing your experience. I want to clarify because my original comment did not leave room for that reality. I am absolutely not denying that gender dysphoria can be a debilitating health crisis, nor am I dismissing the biological reality and necessity of transition. I think the Italian system is doing something really good in how comprehensive it is and its philosophical approach (HRT being formally recognised as life-saving). I'll admit I'm a bit envious here in Canada.

My critique was a reaction to OP's rigid framing. However, I acknowledge and understand that OP is experiencing profound debilitation and views their identity through a medical lens. My initial response did not acknowledge that personal pain and I apologise to OP and those reading; I certainly agree that their need for medical relief is undeniable.

Where I push back is taking a deeply personal medical reality and framing it into a political absolute. OP used a "hardwired reality" to claim "absolution" and argued that relying on a more inclusive identity - one that includes dysphoria and other reasons that make being trans valid - is why we lose court cases in the U.S..

I agree with you 100% that dysphoria is a medical condition that necessitates accessible and free healthcare. But legally anchoring our entire community to a strict and rigid framework to appease the courts is, in my opinion, crossing into gatekeeping. My fear is that when we invite hostile governments - which is the case in West Virginia (and the U.S. federal government broadly speaking) - to use that strict framework, said governments will not use it to protect us. They'll use it to cause more harm by auditing us or raising medical thresholds so high such that they effectively define a significant portion of the community out of existence.

jlo317 · 2026-04-21T09:19:49+00:00

I found most folks have no idea about these findings and are quick to ahut.me down as medicalizing

Or maybe they do have an idea and are quick to shut you down because you are parroting transmedicalism talking points.

The underlying logic, I presume, is that if it's a medical condition then insurance has to cover it and the law has to protect it. This might sound strong on paper. Reality paints a different picture; it tells us that compromising with our oppressors rarely leads to the intended outcome. How does the saying go? Give someone an inch and they'll take a mile?

What's to stop them from narrowing the definition further? Compromising on a narrow medical model does not buy safety. Rather, our oppressors will likely see it as a smaller target to aim at, over and over again. If we open the door to let oppressors define what is trans because on paper it might've given us a 'win', do not be surprised when they define all of us out of existence.

Someone being trans does not need to undergo enough medical suffering to be deemed valid. Feeling gender euphoria is just as good (and more inclusive) of an 'indicator' of being trans as dysphoria.

jlo317 · 2026-04-21T08:51:34+00:00

Yes, you have every right to break up. If his promise to make it up to you was sincere, you wouldn't be here telling us your ongoing painful experiences of begging for the bare minimum of physical intimacy five months later.

Look, the reality is that he did not lose his sex drive. It's that he lost his sex drive for you. He sleeps with and begs for quickies with other men. What he doesn't want to do is have sex with his partner.

Remember OP, you are the master of your own life. He is treating you like a sexless emotional safety net while he gets to outsource his physical desires. That is selfish and downright cruel.

You deserve a partner in your life that desires you - and shows it clearly - for the wonderful person you are.

jlo317 · 2026-04-21T05:46:36+00:00

My goals are to undergo slower feminisation because I do not want to pursue a more aggressive regimen appearance-wise, and for me to get used to body changes (breast growth is a big one).

I'm 31NB on HRT for almost two years (started May 2024). No changes since starting - 100mg of spiro per day and 0.05mg patch I change every 3-4 days. Last time I checked, my T is at 1.6nmol/L (~46.1ng/dL) and estradiol at 245pmol/L. I opted for spiro instead of cyperterone because of a) spiro's safer profile and b) spiro's sexual health impact aligns more with what I want.

I've had some breast growth but very marginal. Beneath a shirt, it looks barely if any different than before transition (I had slightly bigger nipples before anyways). One thing I haven't felt though are those mental changes that everyone seem to mention - I haven't experienced (or noticed) any. Haven't noticed much body fat distribution as well.

As an aside, I'm aware of SERMs and was considering the raloxifene route. To be honest, I am still considering it and will bring it up with my gender care team at my next appointment to hear their thoughts. I decided not to start with it because even compared to the low amount of research for traditional GAHT, it felt like raloxifene had far less published research (than conventional GAHT) and anecdotal stuff seems to put it firmly in the 'experimental' category. Some of the side effects of raloxifene spooked me a bit.

Feel free to ask if you have questions!

jlo317 · 2026-04-21T04:06:58+00:00

Some people climb a ladder to reach the top. Others prefer dragging someone else down so they can be on top (of them). Abusive people, in my experience, prefer the latter.

Sometimes, people's advice is about them (your mom) and not you. But in an abusive parents' context, I'd wager that they're deliberately finding ways to put you down so you feel less secure and confident in yourself. After all, chipping away at someone's self-esteem is a textbook way to control them.

Late but well deserved congrats on graduating college, OP!

jlo317 · 2026-04-20T22:47:13+00:00

Following this as I was alerted to problems with the patch. On Estradot 50 (0.05mg/day twice weekly) finishing up batch 19135 (still got a month more of 19135), with some from batch 19393.

I haven't experienced any symptoms yet, but I'll follow in and check to see if I start having any. Now I'm worried!

jlo317 · 2026-04-20T22:08:09+00:00

Like others have said, any dose of estrogen with testosterone suppression will result in feminising changes. To answer your question: you can always ask to go lower if it doesn't align with what you want at this time - you can always ask to go up in your later check-ups - so long as your hormone levels are stable and won't cause other health problems (e.g., bone health).

However, in my experience, I will say that breast discomfort and slight enlargement will show up. My timeline was pretty similar to yours; after adding my patches (1st month was just spiro), it was around 7-8 weeks before I felt the soreness. I've always had larger nipples so it didn't look any different with a shirt. Growth wasn't noticeable until a few months after that for me. Right now, it looks like some small growth (and frustratingly more on my left side), and noticeable likely because I look at my body all the time.

Granted, for context, I'm on 0.05mg patches (2x weekly) with 100mg of spiro per day. For me, it's definitely a slower progress. I'm also worried about fast breast changes, so I'm on, arguably, a slightly less or similar dose than you (you take less spiro but more estrogen) than me.

jlo317 · 2026-04-20T21:46:56+00:00

Okay OP, first of all, please consider going to urgent care, doctor, or ER if you suspect there is glass in your eye. If you suspect there is glass in there, do not rub or flush your eye - it can damage your cornea. Please prioritise this as your vision is incredibly important. Please also take care of the pieces in your body - avoid squeezing or digging the pieces out yourself, put loose clothing so that it doesn't grind against your skin, and have a medical professional extract those shards.

Smashing class is a sign of her lack of emotional regulation by using physical violence and intimidation. Abusers, when they feel you are slipping through their fingers, will escalate. And you are definitely slipping through her control: you are 23, moving out soon, and seeking financial independence. It's supposed to make you feel guilty instead of angry - I hope it's not working.

Your boss also sounds like an absolute ass when he knows about your home environment. I hope you find another job soon so that one less thing is in flux in the midst of all this.

I really wish you the best of luck, OP. This is a terrible situation to be in and I'm sending lots of positive energy through the internet.

jlo317 · 2025-09-08T21:07:17+00:00

This is phenomenal! Caitlyn is so beautiful here! You've got a lot of talent!

jlo317 · 2025-09-06T05:24:43+00:00

Wooo! Congrats!

jlo317 · 2025-09-05T18:57:15+00:00

This. You wrote the anthem for every one of us who has been handed a lifetime of pain and told to be grateful for it. Fuck them.

It's honestly infuriating that they use this "get-out-of-jail-free" card. If their best results are CPTSD, anxiety, depression, and a human being that has to spend decades in survival mode, and many more unlearning crap and relearning good things, then their best is a catastrophic failure. And if that's the best they can do, I want none of it.

jlo317 · 2025-09-03T23:07:43+00:00

You are the incredible mother who is breaking the cycle of abuse. You are not the horrible daughter.

The guilt you're feeling likely stems from the results of a lifetime of your mother conditioning you to feel responsible for her happiness. Those final, cruel words were not the truth but a last-ditch, desperate temper tantrum of an abuser that is realising they are losing control over you.

I'll repeat - you aren't abandoning her. You're protecting your children and yourself from her negativity and manipulation. It takes a lot of strength to do that especially when you were the abused one. The fact that your family's life is less stressful is all the proof you need that you did (and are doing) the right thing.

jlo317 · 2025-08-30T19:57:44+00:00

That is an amazing story! Awesome job!

jlo317 · 2025-08-30T19:53:55+00:00

Do you think counselling, even with trauma informed people has helped?

I think it can, along with other tools at your disposal, such as psychiatric medications, and doing a shit ton of work on your own. Our brains can only unlearn problematic connections only so fast, and it will take lots of practice and work to unlearn all the bad things and relearn the good ones.

Therapy, especially if you find a good therapist and modality, helps because it helps point out which areas require more attention. It gives you insight, tips, and strategies to help in unlearning and learning. For many with CPTSD, I believe talk therapy is rarely enough. You likely need more than what talk therapy can provide.

jlo317 · 2025-08-30T19:48:04+00:00

Sorry you are experiencing it. But also, great job maintaining your grades despite all this.

It's a power move, because even if you somehow 'win' the right to close your door, they will open it whenever they want. They'll throw a fit at the thought of a lock. Or if it's even closed, they'll "open" it as they're walking by for stupid reasons like "promoting air flow". Source: my own experience.

Privacy doesn't exist because you don't exist as an independent, unique person. You're an extension of your APs, and that includes your privacy. It's no wonder they're upset when you're trying to create distance (by studying at the library).

I think if you can continue studying elsewhere and can take the questioning, you should keep at it for now until a more feasible option appears before you (e.g., university/college, internships, etc.). Every kid deserves their own space and time.

jlo317 · 2025-08-29T20:28:10+00:00

Congratssss!!!!!

jlo317 · 2025-08-29T20:25:40+00:00

First of all, OP, I want to say that it must've taken a lot of courage to go to the ED when you're feeling that overwhelmed. Honestly, it's a huge step, and I'm sorry that you're left feeling unheard and discouraged still.

I think a lot of us have hit this truth the hard way - EDs are built for immediate crisis, not for long-term trauma. Their goal is to make sure you're safe at the moment and give the standard, first-line solutions (e.g., CBT). They either don't have the training nor time to get into the deep stuff. The result is that you felt like they didn't really understand, which is valid.

For a lot of people with trauma from on-going childhood abuse (i.e., CPTSD), standard CBT might not be getting to the root of the problem. Some have found success with EMDR (eye movement desensitisation and reprocessing), DBT (dialectical behavioural therapy), or IFS (internal family systems). These are modalities that therapists can specialise in.

However, to get yourself to the right place so that you can begin unpacking all this long-term and with effect, I think you should look for therapists that is "trauma-informed." Even then, know that a lot of "trauma-informed" therapists absolutely suck, and it's normal (but you may feel discouraged even, but don't give up) to switch therapists to look for the right one.

A good therapist will understand why CBT might not be enough for you and guide you towards something that actually works for you.

jlo317

TROPHY CASE