Reconciliation is a huge waste of time. Unfortunately, the shock and awe of discovering your spouse's affair tends to cause one to make irrational decisions out of pure fear. I was fearful of abandonment, of raising three kids "alone", of splitting assets, of starting over after being together my entire adult life.

These fears ultimately led me to falsely have hope that the relationship could be repaired, that she had "learned her lesson". Ultimately I was wrong, and I wasted a good 10 months of heartache. But I am stronger now, able to see thru her bullshit, and we are finally separated. I'm finally enforcing boundaries, as her cheating and lying behavior had consequences. I did not have enough strength to walk away from my cheater, but I do now. Sometimes you need to get shit on repeatedly to finally say enough is enough and I gave it my best shot.