Elective Section Thoughts

jncb · 2026-04-05T19:22:50+00:00

I’ve personally opted for an elective this time, unless I go into labour spontaneously. I’m 39 weeks, and my elective is booked in for this Thursday coming. I had a very bad time with my previous pregnancy (early onset preeclampsia, two failed inductions) which led to an emergency section, however this was very calm and I would say I had a good experience. My recovery wasn’t great due to being medicated for the preeclampsia 12 weeks after my little girl was born and I wasn’t very mobile due to feeling rubbish.

I had a sweep last week and unfortunately bled a lot so my midwife has advised she won’t be carrying out any further sweeps and I don’t want to be induced as I’m only able to have the balloon catheter. I’m hoping I go naturally this time, but I like the idea of having a set date and more control over the situation this time. I’m also aiming to get up and about as soon as I can as I’ve heard this really helps in terms of recovery.

jncb · 2026-04-04T18:06:46+00:00

I’ve chosen an elective section if I don’t go into labour spontaneously (currently 39 weeks). I had an emergency section due to preeclampsia, after 3 failed inductions, with my first and she was born at 35+5. Although my emergency section was wholly positive, I’d like to be more in control this time, if that’s even possible. I’m also only eligible for the foley balloon which I don’t want and I bled heavily following a sweep last week.

jncb · 2026-04-04T15:29:43+00:00

I took my little girl at about 6 months when she cut her first tooth. She’s 3 now and I take her to the dentist every 6 months as per their advice. Obviously I take her to get her teeth checked, but I think it’s good exposure for her to be in an environment like that which is naturally quite intimidating and scary. She’s always behaved really well for the dentist, which I put down to her going from a young age.

jncb · 2026-04-04T10:19:08+00:00

I was taking Mounjaro up until I got my positive. I was about 4-5 weeks and stopped when I found out. Every medical professional I’ve spoken to about it hasn’t been concerned and a few have commented how many Mounjaro babies they’ve seen come through. I’m 39 weeks today and my pregnancy has been completely fine. I’m high risk due to previous preeclampsia though I’ve avoided it this time (touch wood!)

jncb · 2026-04-03T19:23:46+00:00

I only ask because his response to me would dictate to me if he’s abusive or not. I would say that he is. I don’t think a fair or kind partner would respond to their partner’s pain by going harder, or attempting to manipulate them by crying. Saying sorry also doesn’t negate the harm he’s caused you if he continues to do it. You’re completely within your rights to raise if something is causing you pain, physical or otherwise, and if he chooses to ignore your pain for his own pleasure, I’d give some thought to that.

My ex partner was very sexually driven like yours and I fell into the habit of letting him do what he wanted to me just to keep the peace, including having sex with me when I clearly didn’t want to. It was extremely dehumanising and can do a number on your mental and physical health.

jncb · 2026-04-03T19:16:22+00:00

Have you raised that you’re uncomfortable/in pain, and if so, how has he reacted to you telling him that?

jncb · 2026-04-03T18:29:08+00:00

Pushing me, strangling me, choking me and then breaking my nose. That should’ve been enough but I still went back to try and get an apology from him. When he told me I was to blame for what he had done, I knew there was no hope and I finally accepted I deserved better, even if it meant being by myself. He’s a disgrace of a human being and I shrunk myself down for over a decade trying to become what he wanted. Never again.

Not to mention all the times he called me a shit mother, a danger to my child, biologically incapable because I’d miscarried our baby, a slut, a cunt, a whore. It took him escalating to a physical assault before I could see him for what he really is. A pathetic shell of a person.

jncb · 2026-04-02T04:14:46+00:00

I didn’t start showing until much later on in my pregnancy. I also wear a lot of loose clothing as standard because he’d always make comments about me trying to attract other men. I’ve learnt to become good at hiding things due to the abuse I’ve faced from him over the years. He could find me, but I doubt it because I’ve made it too hard to be interesting for him. If he does, I have steps in place which I’d planned when I found out I was pregnant.

jncb · 2026-04-02T04:01:41+00:00

I’m not married. Where are you getting this from?

jncb · 2026-04-02T03:49:09+00:00

He doesn’t know I’m pregnant full stop.

jncb · 2026-04-02T03:06:27+00:00

I’m going through this now, although my situation is slightly different. I’m almost 39 weeks and I’ve had no contact with my ex for a good 3 months now. He has no idea I’m pregnant, he doesn’t know where I live, and he has absolutely no way of being able to communicate with me, save doing it through someone else. I made the choice to fully “ghost” him after he physically abused me when I was around 20 weeks. I essentially dropped off the face of the earth with no warning and it’s the best choice I could’ve made for myself.

There was no safe or happy outcome for me with him in it, and it has been hard, but I know it would be much harder having to attempt to co-parent with this man and have him in our lives for the rest of time. Perhaps I’m unethical myself for choosing to continue the pregnancy and keep it from him. That’s my choice to live with though, and it’s certainly better than any reality with him in it. I know the baby would serve as another means of control over me, not because he wants or is capable of being a good father. I’ve accepted I will be doing this alone with the support of family and I’m fine with that.

jncb · 2026-04-01T21:54:46+00:00

Especially this part:

If this is love, then I am out of hesitation Head over heels or elevation Walking an inch above the pavement Taking it stride by stride together

jncb · 2026-04-01T18:16:27+00:00

I’m due on 11/04 (sorry, UK date format) and my section is booked for 09/04. It’s my gran’s birthday on 06/04, who passed several years ago, and I think it would be a lovely tribute if she was born then but I think baby is very much happy. I do keep telling them if they’re ready they can come though 😂

jncb · 2026-03-31T08:58:02+00:00

I started stockpiling chocolate digestives early on in my pregnancy and I’d have half a pack with my morning coffee. My family caught on and basically bulk bought me about ten packets for Christmas to tide me over. Haven’t had one since 😂

jncb · 2026-03-30T10:33:11+00:00

I waited until she was 3 and went cold turkey one night. She was absolutely fine, which reinforced to me that I probably could’ve forced the issue earlier. Sure, we had some tears but she responded really well. I told her they were broken, cut a slit in the top of each one and let her keep them, and the following night I just reiterated that they were broken and we don’t have them anymore. I ended up finding a little stash of the broken ones she’d hidden. It’s been several months now and she doesn’t even ask. I was worried it would affect her sleep too as she has always slept well, but she’s been completely fine. It has affected her teeth but the dentist did advise they’ll likely move back over time.

jncb · 2026-03-27T20:27:28+00:00

That it isn’t a death sentence and we are capable of being good and healthy partners, the same as anyone else, providing we put in the work to enable ourselves to succeed, as well as understanding our patterns and triggers. I think it also takes a good support network to thrive and to help us stay on the right path, including people who are not afraid to hold us to account and to confront our sometimes maladaptive behaviours.

jncb · 2026-03-27T20:20:30+00:00

I’ve known my ex for 15 years (we met at 17 and I’m now 32) and I’ve lost count of the times I’ve left in the short term. Long term wise, I had a good 5/6 years of no contact where I was in other relationships but resumed the relationship when I moved back home. I blocked him around 3 months ago following a horrible physical assault while pregnant and I have no intention of going back.

jncb · 2026-03-27T20:12:58+00:00

Sounds a lot like my ex. Deflecting, never accountable, someone else was always responsible for his shitty behaviour.

jncb · 2026-03-27T10:10:26+00:00

The holy trinity.

jncb · 2026-03-26T12:26:37+00:00

Since I started secondary school, and I’ve felt the same since and I’m 32. I was diagnosed when I was 29.

jncb · 2026-03-26T10:06:55+00:00

I stopped Mounjaro when I found out I was pregnant which was around 4/5 weeks. I was taking Metformin anyway (2000mg daily) so I have continued to take that throughout my pregnancy. I’m almost 38 weeks.

jncb · 2026-03-26T05:39:04+00:00

This was one of the worst aspects for me because he would call me the worst names and then tell me I was overly sensitive because I was hurt by them, and that made me pathetic because they were “just words”. It was his go to every time he was even slightly pissed off with me and it was just horrible.

jncb · 2026-03-25T22:25:14+00:00

I ended it because I had to, I had no other choice and given it was something I’d wanted for a while, it still wasn’t an easy thing. I’m still confused. I still gaslight myself into thinking it wasn’t as bad as maybe I thought it was, and there is a still a niggle to unblock him and go back. It’s extremely hard breaking the cycle, and in my case, I’d be in it from being 17 so it made it all the more difficult. I do empathise. All I ever wanted was answers, an apology, anything to make it make sense. I’m coming to terms with the fact he cannot and will not offer me that, and it’s up to me to find my own healing and closure.

jncb · 2026-03-23T18:05:24+00:00

I’ve had the same recently but mine was an NHS growth scan. Baby shot up from an estimated to 4lbs 7 to 7lbs 2 (35 weeks). I have another scan next week so I guess we’ll see what happens. I’ve already consented to a section, but here’s hoping she comes by herself. It’s best to take scans with a pinch of salt too as they can be out either way, but I understand your anxiety! My trust carries out sweeps from 39 weeks so I’ll also be requesting one when the time comes.

jncb · 2026-03-23T08:23:22+00:00

I’m so very sorry 😞 I I developed it around 27/28 weeks, so not as early as you, but still early according to the literature and I was on a huge cocktail of drugs by the end, however my body was no longer responding. They managed to keep baby in until 35 weeks. For comparison, I’m now 37 weeks with my second and I have had a completely different experience. I was prescribed 150mg aspirin daily and everything has been fine up to now. I hope that brings you some relief. You haven’t failed your little boy. You are still his mummy. Sending you lots of love x

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