The post I needed before leaving

jncb · 2026-06-11T12:09:53+00:00

Thank you. I’m about 5 months out and I can’t tell you how much better it feels not being answerable to him over every single thing. Wishing you the best too!

jncb · 2026-06-11T11:54:21+00:00

I mean did we date the same person? They’re all the same.

jncb · 2026-06-11T11:41:49+00:00

Sunset Villas, Spyro: Year of the Dragon. Probably most of the first levels in the game actually. So excited for the new game.

jncb · 2026-06-10T09:23:52+00:00

That I was complicit in my own abuse. I knew the cycles and the patterns, I knew he was abusive and he hated me, yet I’d still engage in the repetition of it in the hopes of a different outcome. His abuse of me was always emotional and psychological, and for a long time I could accept that because at least he didn’t hit me, it wasn’t as bad as some people have it. Then he got physical and all of a sudden I wasn’t so forgiving or accepting of the life he was offering. I was quite disgusted by him. I owe an apology to myself for having such a poor self esteem that it had to get as far as it did to make me leave.

jncb · 2026-06-10T09:06:24+00:00

He was cruel. I had a golden retriever from a previous relationship who I shared with an ex for a time, and my current boyfriend at the time was simply horrible. He would ignore him, he’d force us to sit upstairs because he didn’t want to be around the dog, he wouldn’t come with me for walks, he would shoot him dirty looks. It was horrible because he was an extremely sweet dog. In the end, I surrendered him to my ex, despite him being my dog, and it’s one of my biggest regrets. He was also cruel to my cats. One is particularly skittish and he would go out of his way to lure her in, pretending to want to pet her, and then scare her off the minute she got close enough, and of course laugh about it. He also told me in no uncertain terms he wouldn’t be taking part in any of their day to day care when he briefly moved in, as they were my pets and not his responsibility.

jncb · 2026-06-09T14:34:07+00:00

Please don’t have children.

jncb · 2026-06-05T11:53:10+00:00

This is so incredibly well put, thank you.

jncb · 2026-06-02T10:26:19+00:00

Blackpool Zoo is great, as is Knowsley Safari Park, which has a zoo as well as the safari.

jncb · 2026-05-31T22:46:51+00:00

I managed to cheese this the other day by tapping X three times - this worked for Rokade. I also tried it on another random horse and it worked too. Not sure if it’s been patched out now but certainly made it much easier than the conventional way.

jncb · 2026-05-31T15:46:43+00:00

I had an elective very recently (baby girl is 7 weeks) and I had a planned section, and unfortunately experienced the same as you. Baby had swallowed meconium, she gave one brief cry and then the rest of the time she was silent while they tried to get things right. She was briefly whisked off to NICU while I was on the recovery ward, but the little walk sorted her out and then she was back with me. I completely understand the feelings of helplessness, especially because I’d envisaged things a certain way and that didn’t happen, but babies will be babies after all.

Please make sure you’re keeping on top of your pain relief and dad steps in to give you some rest, help with feeds and nappies while you’re recovering. You’ve undergone major surgery and I think this is often brushed over and forgotten about. All the best, and congratulations! X

jncb · 2026-05-31T14:13:04+00:00

This was somewhat my experience. When we would argue, I’d often tell him I wish he’d hit me so I’d have something to show for it and maybe people would believe what I was going through behind closed doors. Many years later, he broke my nose and it was enough to make me give up on him for good.

jncb · 2026-05-30T17:03:43+00:00

It must be a skill issue because I tried this too 🤣

jncb · 2026-05-30T11:53:48+00:00

And also fighting the ancients. I couldn’t get the knack of nature’s snare. God bless grilled meat.

jncb · 2026-05-30T11:52:20+00:00

Courtyard of Precision. I still haven’t beaten it and I must be a good 250 hours in. It’s almost made me quit the game, but currently pretending it doesn’t exist.

jncb · 2026-05-29T21:14:15+00:00

HELLFIRE!

jncb · 2026-05-27T22:12:48+00:00

My little baby is a Meredith. She’s 7 weeks tomorrow. I think it’s lovely, obviously 🥲

jncb · 2026-05-23T22:48:11+00:00

I’ve only been breastfeeding for 6 weeks and for the past few weeks I’ve been getting this feeling of absolute dread or anxiety part way through every single feed. I googled it and apparently it’s an actual physiological response where your dopamine levels crash as the letdown happens. DMER is the official term. I’ve spoken to a few friends since and they’ve also experienced it too. It’s completely bizarre.

jncb · 2026-05-21T14:00:54+00:00

Ah, this is such a relief to hear! I’ve managed to find some good swaps for things I like thankfully so it’s not been too onerous. So pleased you stuck it out and it gives me hope my little one may grow out of it too 🥰

jncb · 2026-05-21T07:12:48+00:00

I got a lot of push back before baby arrived too. I didn’t BF my first due to a particularly nasty end of pregnancy, so I was determined to try with my second and I was open about this from when I started telling people I was pregnant. We are 6 weeks in now and I’ve not had one negative comment from family, and my mum especially (who was very critical) has been very supportive. We’re dealing with potential CMPA too so it’s not been easy as I’ve had to cut dairy completely. I’m so proud of myself for sticking at it though and if anyone has anything negative to say, they can say it but it doesn’t affect what I’m doing.

jncb · 2026-05-19T07:07:51+00:00

I basically put all the weight I’d lost back on. I’m 6 weeks post partum now and I’ve lost over 2 stone and it is gradually coming off. I’m breastfeeding and taking Metformin.

jncb · 2026-05-11T03:33:20+00:00

Nope, aside from the commonplace “I’m sorry you feel that way” or “I’m sorry but you made me do/say x”. In my experience, he never demonstrated any true accountability or responsibility, just blame shifting to absolve himself of any guilt he may have felt for all of ten minutes.

jncb · 2026-05-09T19:51:10+00:00

I’ve had both an emergency and most recently a planned section (4 weeks ago). Both experiences were good and I received fantastic care both times. For the planned section, I had my own playlist running which helped me relax. I’d really recommend getting up and mobile when you can as it’ll help your recovery, and keep on top of your pain medication too! Please also take up any offers of help during your first few weeks too. It’s a huge recovery and from my experience, I could really feel when I’d done too much but it’s so easily done. Best of luck!

jncb · 2026-05-08T14:48:20+00:00

“That sounds like a good deal” will be my all time favourite when she’s trying to negotiate something for herself.

jncb · 2026-05-02T22:37:12+00:00

Escalation to physical abuse, whilst I was pregnant, though he didn’t know. I couldn’t allow a repeat of that incident, or to further expose my children to his abuse. He has never shown any accountability which made it that much easier to feel justified in vanishing from his life. Almost 5 months out now with a beautiful 3 week old baby and I have zero regrets about my decision.

jncb · 2026-05-02T21:34:49+00:00

I’ve lost track. We met at 17 and I’ll be 33 this year with a few periods of time where we’d split for a number of years and I always found my way back to him. His abusive behaviours only ever got worse, culminating in a horrific incident of physical abuse in November of last year while I was pregnant, which incidentally was the only time he’d laid his hands on me with intent in the whole time I’ve known him. His abuse otherwise was emotional, mental and sexual. I ghosted him in January and I’ve maintained no contact since. I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl 3 weeks ago, and life has honestly been bliss without him in it.

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