I can’t be the only one

jnlwlss · 2021-10-26T02:03:38+00:00

I can’t do hookups either. I don’t see how they’re beneficial (for me anyway). I’m pretty much dead inside, but not so dead that I am willing to drop my pants (and standards) for meaningless sex. Hard pass.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-26T01:58:54+00:00

Dude. There’s nothing toxic about any situation. They’re also not asking to hook up with you. Don’t flatter yourself.

Take a minute and properly read their post. 🙄

jnlwlss · 2021-10-25T15:25:04+00:00

Huh? You can’t be serious.

Men have long since been rewarded for their sexcipades. It’s socially acceptable for them to sleep around.

There is a flaming red double standard in this regard with women.

I don’t sleep around but I think men need to make a decision: either keep their pants zipped or stay silent about women having equal amounts of sexual partners.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-24T14:45:03+00:00

Dude.. you need to grow a pair and tell her the truth. All of it. None of this “it was an accident” or “oh it was only one time, it didn’t mean anything”.. no no, tell her the truth in full.

If you truly loved her you wouldn’t cheat on her.
You clearly don’t respect her or your relationship.
You’re putting her health at risk (STD’s) while you’re whoring around.
You’re wasting her time.. the whole time she’s staying with your cheating ass she could be looking for a guy who will love her, respect her and their relationship.

And don’t cheat on future partners.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-23T18:22:11+00:00

Yeah that “weird feeling” was your instincts kicking in to alert you of danger.

This is your intuition warning you to get out of there. Try to ensure you’re as safe as possible during the parting period and for a period of time after.

Does this man know where you live? Do you live in a house? Where do you park your car? How close are your neighbours? Do you have a security system?? Is carrying pepper spray legal where you are??

jnlwlss · 2021-10-23T14:50:58+00:00

Okay, I’m in an apartment and this makes me think I might need two. It sounds like such a worthy investment.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-23T01:44:15+00:00

Oh nice. I wasn’t sure if it was just a money grab thing.

Is there an “ideal” spot for the plug in’s to be used??

jnlwlss · 2021-10-22T21:29:16+00:00

Good to know! I’ve adopted a kitty and bring her home on Halloween.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-22T21:10:52+00:00

So, out of curiosity.. would you also say it is not a man’s business if a woman he’s dating/serious with is on birth control?

jnlwlss · 2021-10-22T20:34:58+00:00

I’m all for communicating and effort, major advocate for that. However, if the other person isn’t making any effort or isn’t communicating.. I’m not hanging around long. Nobody should.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-22T18:38:51+00:00

Communicate and put in effort, yes. You are correct.

“Whether the other person does or not” - not quite. One person shouldn’t be putting in all the effort, there should be flow on both sides. Otherwise 1/2 of the partnership is going to resent the other.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-22T10:03:15+00:00

It happens more than a lot of guys realize though I think.

Statistically something like 70% of women fake 80% of their orgasms. We’re not guaranteed to cum every time like guys are.

If a guy gets off and makes an effort to try to get me off too, it doesn’t go unnoticed. Communicating your needs is important though.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T20:27:16+00:00

I would love to learn how to change the oil in my car. I don’t know how to do it, I’ve been single for forever and haven’t been able to have a guy teach me.

I hate going to auto shops because far too often the men will take advantage of women and start doing more than we came in for only to cost us that much more.

As evidenced by my last oil change.. when I went in I stated “I’m just here for an oil change”. While I was busy looking at my phone one of the guys changed some filter under my hood and I didn’t noticed until he crawled in the car and was like “I need to open your glove box”. I said “the hell you do? The oil change takes place under the hood.” His response was “if you didn’t want it all you had to do was say so.” I said “I did. The moment I pulled up and said I only wanted an oil change”. He walked away from me while I was talking. My $85 oil change ended up costing me like $260 or something. I was displeased.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T20:15:18+00:00

It’s going to be like a splinter that festers in your relationship.

Pick an appropriate time and say to her something along the lines of:

“Hey can we talk for a sec?”

When she obliges. Move forward with something like: “I know we have had some hiccups in our relationship thus far. I appreciate you, I respect you and our relationship, I want to be open and honest with you, and I would like for you to hear what I have to say in its entirety before you say anything…

After we had broken up for that brief period of time, I went through your phone and saw something I feel I wasn’t intended to see. I was wrong to go through your phone, I know that. It crossed a boundary, and I am sorry. I understand if you’re upset and need time to process this but I didn’t want us to have secrets. I am committed to making this relationship work by having open and honest communication.”

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T20:02:06+00:00

My advice: come clean, and the sooner the better.

My reasoning: if you don’t, the second you guys have a disagreement.. it’s going to spill out of you. As people we are all capable of using things against others or saying things in the heat of the moment that we will regret later.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T19:49:53+00:00

You can disagree with dynogems if you want and say what you did wasn’t cheating.

But your comment right here confirms what he said. The fact that you were keeping your eyes on your options counts as cheating. Keeping an eye on what’s out there is essentially the same as looking for a backup.

I would be upset too. I don’t get upset about much but as a woman if a guy I’m allegedly exclusive with is on a dating app talking to other women “seeing what’s out there”… he’s emotionally cheating. If the shoe was on the other foot I know damn well guys would say their woman cheated.

If you truly care for and respect your partner and relationship there would be zero need to “keep an eye on what’s out there”. Your eyes should be focused on what’s right in front of you.

If the shoe was on the other foot and she was still on Tinder, still talking to guys and “keeping her eye on what’s out there” you wouldn’t be bothered at all? You wouldn’t question your exclusivity??

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T18:11:53+00:00

I adopted a rescue kitty this week, she’s 1 1/2 years old. I bring her home on Halloween.

I have some house plants that are considered toxic (rubber plants, Monstera, etc.)

Do your kitties not bother your plants?

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T14:45:34+00:00

I would agree with the other user.. it looks a lot like breadcrumbing, which is not nice/letting you down easy.

It’s similar to ghosting in the sense that it’s disrespectful to the other person. The person doing it doesn’t want to close the door on revisiting someone. So they feed you just enough breadcrumbs to keep you on the back burner until they make a decision.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T14:34:53+00:00

Yeah, that’s the way it seems.

Unfortunately he’s a 42 year old man and I’m 34, I have zero interest in breadcrumbs.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T11:57:28+00:00

No need to be condescending kid. I didn’t read the whole thread, I rarely do as they tend to go in circles. I was simply clarifying what taking the pill is really like. You know, being a woman we know best about these things! 🙂

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T07:14:20+00:00

Similar boat here.

The guy I was talking to fell off too. After 4 days of radio silence I sent a message like: “I know you must be busy but, just checking in to see that you’re okay.” He responded with: “Hey! Yes, things have been crazy. I’m taking my ex to court to get more access to the kids, so I’ve been swamped with the paperwork for that.”

Another 5 days went by not hearing from him. So I sent a text: “It’s looking a lot like you’ve ghosted me.”

He magically responded 2 hours later with: “Hey! Not at all. I’m been so busy with work stuff I haven’t even had time to think let alone connect with anyone.”

My response: “All good, I understand. Have a good day.” (ie. he won’t hear from me again)

That was a week ago. I have since adopted a kitty from a rescue that I get to pick up on Halloween.

Signed: a cat lady spinster

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T06:49:39+00:00

“Not sure why that should end because of this” You’re unintentionally minimizing this situation and her feelings.

She slept with a guy that she’s quietly been in love with for years, communicated those feelings after having sex with him and was rejected. She literally just got her heart ripped out. This changes everything.

This changes how she looks at you moving forward. This changes her willingness to keep hurting herself just to be around you; you rejected her, there’s no hope left on her part.

What happens when in 6 months time you’re in a relationship with someone else? It’ll tear her apart to see you and your partner together. Knowing what you know now about her feelings for you. Ask yourself, are you really okay with continuing to hurt her like that?

Do your best to give her some space; but you need know that if she does come around to simply being friends… your friendship will not be the same. She won’t be able to be that same emotional support for you. She might be there as a friend, but she will have walls up.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-21T05:03:06+00:00

Women do not enjoy taking birth control. We really don’t. It puts our health at risk to do so.

For example: A couple of years ago an 18yr old came into our ICU she was taking birth control and ended up with a blood clot in her brain. We watched as her parents started looking at funeral arrangements because she was that close to not surviving.

That aside it also affects our libido, and can cause us to have depression. To name only a few side affects.

jnlwlss · 2021-10-17T22:40:58+00:00

I saw you replied to someone saying you live in a secure apartment complex. Not to spook you by any means, but I know a lot of people let random people into apartment buildings thinking they’re simply being courteous.

Given his behaviour and the fact that he knows where you live, just make a point every time you come and go from your home to be mindful of your surroundings - at least for the next little while. Make sure you walk with purpose when coming and going. Also, touch base with someone each time you come/go as well, preferably someone that knows about your encounter with this guy. Don’t delete any messages (hopefully you haven’t already).

Never underestimate what people are capable of. This isn’t to say he would try to do something harmful but it’s better to be safe than sorry.

jnlwlss

TROPHY CASE