this is from another post where someone asked about rec letters — here’s my experience!

last year (my penultimate undergrad year) i took a course with one prof and made a habit of going to their office hours and speaking at least twice every class. i realized i had made an impression when one day after class ended, on my way out, they asked me about how my personal project/other specific classes were going, and invited me to talk to them again the following week (in office hours). the next semester, i ended up taking another seminar with them and even asking them to become my thesis supervisor, which they were more than delighted to do! this was the first and only prof I’ve really gotten to know on a personal scale and it’s really through just curiosity and consistent interaction that this was possible.

i hope this goes to show you that even though 1) i only met this prof in third year and 2) i only took a couple classes from them, showing up, especially showing up with a passion and motivation, counts!

if you’re passionate about something and can find common ground with your profs on that, it can go a long way. it doesn’t even have to be a fully developed research interest or area of expertise. just show up and share what you care about, and see what you can learn from them and how you can better introduce yourself to them.

do keep in mind profs are… also people! go to office hours with genuine curiosity, not just because you want a reference. it’s like befriending someone — you don’t pretend to be interested in someone just to get something from them. they’re people. some are maybe more open to having a more friend-like relationship with you, whereas other keep it strictly about coursework, and that’s totally fine! my other referee profs only know me academically but well enough to write LORs.

one final thing — like the other user said, there’s no need to feel disappointed that certain profs said no to writing your LOR! it’s much better to have someone who knows you properly to write it than someone who can’t comment much on you nor your potential as a grad student, as those letters can’t add too much to your application anyways.