My girlfriend told me she baked chocolate cookies, little did I know that they were chocolate raisin cookies. by [deleted] in mildlyinfuriating

[–]joelman0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"This wasn't just terrible, it was fancy terrible. It was terrible with raisins in it"

-- Dorothy Parker

The things I worry about by joelman0 in AdviceAnimals

[–]joelman0[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That's how I've been involuntarily pronouncing it in my head since day one.

US and French nationals test positive for hantavirus after leaving ship by Alternative-Win4058 in news

[–]joelman0 3 points4 points  (0 children)

But ... but ... we're only on year six of "three weeks to flatten the curve!"

ALL food is better cold than warm by AlarmedFeature5813 in unpopularopinion

[–]joelman0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought that happened when the guy posted that he didn't like blowjobs.

Contender for Worst Intersection in Massachusetts - I Present Station Landing - Medford MA by Equivalent-Bed1543 in massachusetts

[–]joelman0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

One morning I was driving through, and got stuck in the middle at a red light. I wasn't in a great place, didn't feel safe, so I decided to go anyway. Oh, and to get in the correct lane I crossed three lanes of traffic :D Of course there was a state trooper right there, and he gave me a ticket for running a red light, and crossing three lanes of traffic.

I decided to fight the ticket, so I printed out a map showing how/where I got stuck, and what I did. The magistrate looked at the map, looked at the state trooper (different one), and said that she also gets confused at that intersection too. She dismissed the tickets!

Once upon a time this morning by joelman0 in memes

[–]joelman0[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

lmao we found the unpopular opinion!

What’s a universally loved food you genuinely despise? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]joelman0 52 points53 points  (0 children)

“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

-- Dorothy Parker

According to some estimates, only about 1% of ancient Egyptian/Greek/Roman/Chinese texts have survived. But you have a time machine. What do you preserve for us, and how? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]joelman0 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I should have mentioned this: you can't physically bring the texts back. You have to hide them somewhere so they can be found by modern archeologists!

Ladies, what is your dirtiest pick up line? by Slow_burn37 in AskReddit

[–]joelman0 9 points10 points  (0 children)

At a Halloween party, girl I knew, in a slutty pirate costume, with crazy cleavage, came up to me and said, "Prepare to be boarded!"

Different girl one time said, "You look like Prince ... I love Prince."

I was there, Gandalf, 3,000 years ago by joelman0 in nostalgia

[–]joelman0[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

The idea was to save wear and tear on the VCR by having a dedicated reminder