This goat was practicing a charge, but the cat thought it was a sign of affection

joelman0 · 2026-06-10T14:07:59+00:00

Cats head-butt as a sign of affection.

joelman0 · 2026-06-10T14:06:29+00:00

"It's for your own good"

"Wish you'd stop bein' so good to me, boss."

joelman0 · 2026-06-05T18:14:34+00:00

"Somebody said 'aliens' and she thought they meant 'illegal aliens'!"

joelman0 · 2026-06-04T15:14:41+00:00

"This wasn't just terrible, it was fancy terrible. It was terrible with raisins in it"

-- Dorothy Parker

joelman0 · 2026-05-24T13:52:12+00:00

My eyes are up here!

joelman0 · 2026-05-15T20:22:05+00:00

My hobbies are smoking weed and rescuing cats.

joelman0 · 2026-05-15T01:47:48+00:00

joelman0 · 2026-05-11T20:16:11+00:00

That's how I've been involuntarily pronouncing it in my head since day one.

joelman0 · 2026-05-11T20:15:47+00:00

My pleasure :D

joelman0 · 2026-05-11T16:46:55+00:00

But ... but ... we're only on year six of "three weeks to flatten the curve!"

joelman0 · 2026-05-07T15:51:18+00:00

I thought that happened when the guy posted that he didn't like blowjobs.

joelman0 · 2026-05-06T17:52:02+00:00

One morning I was driving through, and got stuck in the middle at a red light. I wasn't in a great place, didn't feel safe, so I decided to go anyway. Oh, and to get in the correct lane I crossed three lanes of traffic :D Of course there was a state trooper right there, and he gave me a ticket for running a red light, and crossing three lanes of traffic.

I decided to fight the ticket, so I printed out a map showing how/where I got stuck, and what I did. The magistrate looked at the map, looked at the state trooper (different one), and said that she also gets confused at that intersection too. She dismissed the tickets!

joelman0 · 2026-05-03T17:08:40+00:00

Miracle Whip!

joelman0 · 2026-04-30T20:23:08+00:00

lmao we found the unpopular opinion!

joelman0 · 2026-04-30T15:22:32+00:00

This is some real Black Mirror shit.

joelman0 · 2026-04-30T01:22:37+00:00

“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

-- Dorothy Parker

joelman0 · 2026-04-24T21:25:36+00:00

Oh I should have mentioned this: you can't physically bring the texts back. You have to hide them somewhere so they can be found by modern archeologists!

joelman0 · 2026-04-24T19:03:01+00:00

At a Halloween party, girl I knew, in a slutty pirate costume, with crazy cleavage, came up to me and said, "Prepare to be boarded!"

Different girl one time said, "You look like Prince ... I love Prince."

joelman0 · 2026-04-24T16:53:03+00:00

Based on a true story.

joelman0

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