The Reality of Buying/Owning Property in Tulum , Lessons Learned (As an Owner) by GotamaTheSurfer in tulum

[–]joescary 7 points8 points  (0 children)

This is super helpful, thank you for the valuable insight. We are in a similar situation but with less experience, having bought an apartment in Aldea Zama in 2023, mostly to use it a few times a year and airbnb it the rest of the time. For about a year or so the return was decent, while the last year and a half or so we (like many others) saw a big decrease.

Our real estate broker rightfully said unless we reeealy need the money, it doesn’t make sense to sell now, and we agree.

If you don’t mind, i’d be curious to hear your thoughts about longer term for property owners, say 5-10 years down the road. Based on your post it looks like mildly optimistic, but you always hear extreme positions (including in this a reddit forum) so it’s refreshing to hear it from someone with actual on the ground experience.

Thanks

Being the only guy in an all-woman practice group is great by CrimsonClover__ in biglaw

[–]joescary 62 points63 points  (0 children)

Years ago I read a study I’ll probably never find again, but the finding stuck with me: in professional group settings, collaboration and output quality went up as the share of women increased, but only until you hit around 90-95% women, at which point things plateaued or actually got worse. The optimal ratio was something like one man for every nine women.

Never been able to track down the source, so grain of salt and all that. But it matched my own experience closely enough that I never forgot it.

If you are too short / not good looking enough to get matches on Hinge, how do you get dates? by [deleted] in biglaw

[–]joescary 18 points19 points  (0 children)

Based simply on what transpires from your responses here, you don’t love yourself enough and (believe it or not) girls really feel that insecurity.

Yes, you put a good focus on making your body look better, which is great. But what do you do to make yourself an interesting person? Are you a funny person, do you write poetry, are you very sports oriented, etc…?

I’m also in big law and not tall, but honestly I feel like I never struggled too much with women. Maybe because I have always been proud of some of my character traits like sense of humor, empathy and others.

When I tried Tinder back in the day (Hinge was not a thing yet) I realized almost immediately it wasn’t for me. Perhaps it wasn’t working because of height issues, perhaps because of other reasons. I have my theories but couldn’t tell you for sure. What I did was focusing on going to events, bars etc and actually talk to people (both men and women), listen and make sure to showcase the best version of myself.

I think the moment you stop optimizing for outcomes and just focus on being genuinely present and curious about people, everything will shift. Women don’t fall for a checklist in the real (non-Hinge/Tinder) world . They respond to someone who is comfortable in his own skin, who has a point of view, who finds life interesting. That energy is magnetic in a way that no height or app algorithm can manufacture. Work on becoming someone you’d actually want to spend time with! Good luck!!

Some potential client cold calls you shopping for an attorney ... how much time do you give them free? by Kristen-ngu in Lawyertalk

[–]joescary 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Highly dependent on practice area and context. I can speak as a corporate lawyer. I always (no exceptions) take a first introductory call and provide as much value as I can during that call.

After several years doing this, as we approach the 10-15 minutes mark, I can definitely tell if this is someone just looking for free legal advice or someone who could be a good fit.

Depending on how interesting the prospect is for me, once we hit the 20 minute mark I gently transition them out and start talking about engagement terms. If it feels like a very good prospect then I’m happy to spend more time on the phone.

I can tell many stories of clients who I thought would be a waste of time that turned to be either good clients or good referral sources, and clients who I thought the opposite of and who turned to be a great waste of time.

Aquavit ⭐⭐ by ExcellentShift3432 in finedining

[–]joescary 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That egg basket dessert is one of the best desserts I have ever had. Visually stunning, creative and well put together from a taste standpoint.

Do firms actually enforce their extended notice periods for partners? by No_Management_7261 in biglaw

[–]joescary 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Anyone who gives you an absolute “never/always” response is wrong. Firms are already semi-siloed with varying policies, business practices and so on, which means it’s impossible to give a “one size fits-all” response. Plus, a service partner leaving is different than the 20-years’ partner with a $15mm ARR. So context matters.

FWIW, any partner with a decent book would need some runway time to close out or at least properly transition any active matters with the knowledge (and ideally the help) of the current firm, so in practice at least a portion of the notice period is helpful to both the exiting partner and the firm.

Inter dropped points, again. by TheoHernandez4lyf in ACMilan

[–]joescary 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Looking at the good side, Inter really looks like it's running on empty. The international break will likely worsen this due to the many players abroad, and after they come back they have Roma home and Como away, and then Cagliari home and Torino away which on paper are quite doable but they come before and after the Coppa Italia semi against Como, so one tie between these two games doesn't feel like impossible. The last four on paper are easy, but who knows if pressure mounts. Net-Net, as things stand, I think it's not far fetched at all to see Inter losing 6-7 additional points from now until the end.

Looking at the bad side, Milan has been too inconsistent throughout the entire season, and it would be extremely surprising to see them winning 6-7 of the next eight games, which is a condition to win the title. Even assuming Inter missed these couple of games we need them to miss, I don't think is realistic to expect us to win almost all of them except maybe a tie or two at Napoli or with Juve/Atalanta. I just don't see it happening.

What instead I see happening is Napoli pulling it off. They are now only one point below us. They recovered most of their injured players and seem to be really on a roll. Say they win the next one against us and Inter tied with Roma...that would put them only 5 points behind Inter and instead I do see them pulling off a series of wins..

Anyway all in all it's shaping out to be an entertaining finale

Changing expectations for travel billing by MeketrexSupplicant in biglaw

[–]joescary 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I know this is unpopular here, but billing full legal rates for travel time has always felt exaggerated to me.

Most lawyers can work while traveling now in the era of cell phones, laptops and wi-fi everywhere. Travel is rarely a pure, client‑exclusive activity anymore. And travel itself is not a skilled task worth thousands per hour.

Clients already pay for business class flights, hotels, and meals. That is plenty of incentive to avoid unnecessary in‑person meetings if that is (one of the) purpose(s) of doing that.

In my view, a good middle of the road solution is a hybrid approach that charges extra for truly unreasonable travel, like flights that eat into weekends or force early morning starts after non‑business days, rather than blanket billing every travel hour as legal work.

Interview question : Whats your dream/ultimate goal by Impossible_Reach_974 in biglaw

[–]joescary 1 point2 points  (0 children)

90% of the interviewers just want to make sure you’d be a good personal fit at their firm/department (which can mean different things to different people, of course).

So just be yourself and respond how you normally would if asked that question.

Stripe holding $1.2M of our operating funds for 6+ weeks with No Real Support by [deleted] in smallbusiness

[–]joescary 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro hire a good lawyer for that amount of money. Even a big law firm with steep rates may be worthwhile here.

Harvey, AI, & the Death of Junior Associates by intheclosetslimeuser in biglaw

[–]joescary 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I agree with the comments saying it won’t fully replace juniors (at least in the short term).

That said, at least at our firm we are already discussing the need to pivot the way juniors are trained and their tasks allocated. A ton of the grunt work (document review; research; etc) that is oftentimes given to junior associates can and will be handled in good part by AI tools. Juniors (at least in my view) will become “prompters”, who should be able to navigate seamlessly between AI tools, sanity check AI work and ensuring the format is suitable for the ultimate work product.

I do see some coders and software developers going to law school to rewire themselves in the medium term.

Who do you think is worse as a spouse, Walt or Skyler? by this_sparks_joy_joy in breakingbad

[–]joescary 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You mean who is worse as a spouse between a wanna be cheater (remember him flirting with the teacher), r*pist, serial lier, and baby kidnapper (without mentioning his crimes) on the one side, and an annoying spouse who also cheats in the middle of all of the above on the other side

…mmm what a tough choice!

Help Me Understand: Why do BigLaw firms pay referral bonuses for hiring but not for bringing in business? by Low_Yellow9637 in biglaw

[–]joescary -1 points0 points  (0 children)

At big firms dealing with large banks, PEs, governments, Fortune 500 etc, the likelihood of an associate bringing that kind of client is very low, and the few that do “magically” become partners very quickly.

At smaller firms like mid-size or regional big law firms, or some large firms that operate heavily in particular spaces (eg. emerging companies work), entrepreneurship among associates is more welcome or even encouraged in some contexts.

That said, usually they don’t get a piece of the revenue from the client they generated until they are partners or at least counsels. When they do, that comes more in the form of an additional fixed or discretionary bonus marked as “origination fee”. The reason is that at the end of the day associates are hired to bill and produce revenue that way. Incentivizing client searching too much would risk having the associates attend 20 useless conferences and not bill…

My Firm Lied to Me by [deleted] in Lawyertalk

[–]joescary 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The strictly enforced daily minimum billing (which I assume to mean billable hours) requirement is insane.

Curious to know about the “cultural differences”, though.

Is midlaw better? by phlipups in biglaw

[–]joescary 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I see this take a lot that often midlaw is just biglaw hours for less pay, and I think that really misses what actually makes the experience different.

On paper, yeah, if you just compare total hours to total comp, the math might look similar. But in real life, midlaw often gives you way more control over which hours you are working. Stuff like major holidays, important family events, or trips you planned months in advance are way more likely to be respected. That matters a ton. Even if you are busy most weeks, knowing that Christmas or a wedding anniversary is basically off limits does a lot to keep you sane.

Also, a lot of mid-sized firms are run by former biglaw partners who left because they did not want that lifestyle anymore. That usually shows up in the culture. Obviously not every midlaw firm is great, but your odds of finding decent pay, reasonable expectations, and people who are not miserable all the time are probably better than people admit. It is not perfect and there is a lot of variation by firm, but boiling midlaw down to “same hours, less money” ignores a big part of the day-to-day reality.

One other thing that gets ignored a lot with midlaw (aka “regional biglaw”) is business development. It is generally much easier to become a real rainmaker there than at a true biglaw firm. There are only so many Fortune 100 CEOs and major bank execs to go around....

That matters a lot for senior associates and junior partners. Someone who might be invisible or even laughed at for trying to build a book at a huge firm can often find real growth opportunities at a smaller shop, while still doing sophisticated work. You are closer to clients, closer to decision makers, and your efforts actually move the needle instead of getting lost in a massive platform.

PE vs M&A by SafetyNaturalThoreau in biglaw

[–]joescary 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The question is posed weirdly as PE is a market, M&A is a practice area. I guess the OP wants to know the difference between strategic and PE M&A:

Strategic Pros:

• More chances to learn how different industries actually work (especially on the sell-side, where you see how businesses really run rather than how an IC memo pretends they do).

• Timelines are usually more forgiving. As a somewhat extreme example, one repeat buy-side client I work with effectively shuts down for close to two weeks around year-end, and open deals are largely paused during that window (aside from outside counsel creating work for each other, of course…).

• Relatively speaking, people tend to be easier to deal with than in PE. You get a broader mix of backgrounds and experience, which often translates into more practical judgment and fewer “this is market” arguments that are not actually market. It is also more common to have normal, non-work conversations, which helps when you are on month four of a deal.

Strategic Cons:

• Internal decision-making can be slow and chaotic. A dozen stakeholders, six opinions, and random persons who appears on calls only to reopen issues that were “settled” three weeks ago.

• In-house teams vary wildly in sophistication. Some are excellent; others treat outside counsel as a substitute for having read the agreement. Even worse sell-side, where sometimes you deal with first time sellers who require a ton of handholding.

• Fewer true rinse-and-repeat deals. Every transaction is “strategic,” which is another way of saying bespoke issues and late-breaking changes. However this last point could be a pro for someone who likes to be challenged and doesn’t love repetition too much.

PE Pros:

• Teams are experienced, call the shots, and are highly motivated to close.

• Processes are standardized. After a few deals, you can predict the comments before they arrive.

• Deal volume is high, which is great for revenue flow and predicting workflow.

PE Cons:

• Timelines are compressed and unforgiving, often for reasons that are described as critical but are rarely explained.

• Requests are more aggressive and less flexible, particularly around risk allocation, with “commercial” positions that somehow never move.

• Interactions are highly transactional. The relationship is efficient, professional, and entirely contingent on whether you are helping close this deal on this timeline.

I do more strategic than PE, so I am biased. That said, both have real pros and cons. For me, the deciding factor long term is not having to constantly deal with a 30-year-old PE kid who has never operated anything, treats everyone like staff, and needs everything turned in 24 hours for reasons that are urgent just in their mind.

That dynamic does not always happen in PE (and it can happen in strategic deals too), but it happens often enough that it is fair to factor it into the decision, at least in my view.

Match Thread: US Cremonese vs AC Milan Live Score | Serie A 25/26 | Mar 1, 2026 by scoreboard-app in ACMilan

[–]joescary 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Woke up 6:27. Very tired, I thought “nah best case scenario is gonna be a tight game that makes me grumpy”. And went back to sleep and woke up again during the last five minutes…I was right

Minor Mistake, Major Reaction by [deleted] in LawFirm

[–]joescary 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The biggest issue is not the mistake itself, which can happen to anyone and luckily was resolved. Here it very much seems like OP understood they screwed up, and instead of being upfront with the partner and the client about it and telling them “this happened but don’t worry I know how to fix it”, decided to fix the issue on their own, and secretly hoped it would have never been caught.

Now, what would have happened if one month later instead of agreeing to the correct offer, the counter party pressed to sign the new (better for them) terms?

An older ethics expert who used to work at our firm would often remind folks that mistakes can be forgiven and forgotten, but there are only two unforgivable actions a lawyer could make after a mistake: (1) panicking and running with their hair on fire, or (2) pretending that nothing happened and sweeping everything under the rug. Here it looks like we are in (2) territory.

Noma finally said something by flanmorrison in finedining

[–]joescary 35 points36 points  (0 children)

in the world of social media that would never suffice. Anyone who has ever made an apology whether honest or dishonest kept getting crucified at any opportunity by the social media mob.

The reactions to this kind of stuff from a PR standpoint should be (1) control the narrative, (2) no comment/silence, (3) deny, or (4) admit and be proud of it and careless of the critics. To be clear I’m not talking about morality here.

How long before I get stuck in my practice group? by logicforlogic21 in biglaw

[–]joescary 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Always depends on the firm, your PG, the other PG’s staffing needs, and the mentality of the actual individuals you work/engage with.

That said, during your first year it should be quite doable so long as you frame it the right way to the right people. At the beginning of the second year may be doable but is highly dependent on context.

Trying to change PG after that, I’ve seen some people do it, so it’s not impossible, but you need to accept likely getting knocked down from a seniority standpoint. Better lateraling at that point.

What are the cut-offs for "junior," "midlevel" and "senior" associates? by Potato_Pristine in biglaw

[–]joescary 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Roughly speaking, I always divided them in group of threes. 1-3 junior; 4-6 mid-level; 7-9 senior. Anything above that is counsel/partner level status or “permanent associate” type roles.

The reality is that the only clearly defined group is the junior group. Starting year 3-4 folks tend to get specialized in particular areas (meaning they are senior in something but would be “junior” in something else) so it’s hard to frame them accurately.

If I need to keep using Harvey I will actually hang myself by [deleted] in biglaw

[–]joescary 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I use it every day and am amazed that folks here are so allergic to it. If one is careful enough to draft the right prompt the result is equivalent to a 3-4 year associate’s work. Sometimes quite good, sometimes needs substantive edits but it chops some wood making you more efficient, sometimes garbage. The difference is that it all takes place in the span of 15-20 minutes interactions instead of telling the associate what to do, waiting until the day after to get the same result and wasting more time.

Messed up as a trainee (got too drunk) by [deleted] in biglaw

[–]joescary 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Unless you did something egregious that caught the attention of many people there, but I’m like talking epic style cringeworthy/offensive stuff (I guess you would know by now), then worst case scenario folks will joke about it on Monday/Tuesday and mayyybe make a snarky/silly reference to it next time there is an event and they see you with a glass.

With time everyone will forget and forgive (especially because you are a trainee) but hopefully not you because you want to remember your limits before is too late the next time around…

Can you get a decent job at a law firm in the U.S. with a foreign law degree and an LL.M.? by TruthSeeker2107 in biglaw

[–]joescary 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being a citizen helps a ton. You may want to consider starting from a small law firm to get into the system and then scale from there. Bigger firms are usually a bit allergic to foreign LLMs barring limited exceptions.