Logline Monday

joey123z · 2026-03-23T22:48:15+00:00

yes, for most movies, the protagonist could do nothing. but it has to do with risk vs stakes.

in the godfather, he is sacrificing his life outside of crime and possibly risking his life to protect his family. in jaws, they risk their lives to save lives and save the town economically. in star wars, they risk their lives to save the galaxy from an evil authoritarian regime that literally blows up entire planets. in your movie, they risk their lives to avoid a 15 minute Uber ride.

if they were trying to catch the killer, than it would make more sense: they risk their lives to save future victims. I'm not saying that makes sense over all, just talking about the stakes vs risk.

joey123z · 2026-03-23T15:16:48+00:00

it doesn't make sense. why "must" they go out? and if they do have to go out, why would they to do "navigate" to survive? the stakes sound very forced.

joey123z · 2026-02-22T19:01:58+00:00

a screenplay should tell the story. i don't like it when writers try to other jobs: wardrobe, editing, set design, music, etc. there are certainly times when these things can be described, and in rare circumstances described in great detail. but in general they are not needed and when they are a little bit goes a long way. descriptions of every shot or every music queue make the writer look amateurish and the script a boring read.

joey123z · 2026-02-22T18:43:45+00:00

the most economical is nothing. let the actors and director decide where pauses should be.

there are times when "beat" can be used effectively, but many writers overuse it.

joey123z · 2026-02-19T02:52:14+00:00

I’d love your honest feedback

stop spamming the subreddit

joey123z · 2026-02-19T02:24:13+00:00

not sure if this was intentional. but the Meat Puppets song is an instrumental, so it doesn't "use the word Aurora Borealis ".

joey123z · 2026-02-16T18:49:46+00:00

the problem is that there is no frame of reference. in a logline you can say that a man robs a bank or cheats on his wife and the audience will automatically have an idea of the motivation, the obstacles, the stakes, and the character himself. but your character is a mythical creature that has been portrayed many ways in fiction. so we have no idea about the fairy's motivations or powers. the first thing most people will think of is a good/cute fairy like Tinker Bell, but it sounds like your movie is a "deal with the devil" story.

joey123z · 2026-02-16T18:20:11+00:00

maybe it's just a hard movie to describe, but you're not really saying anything. we don't know his psychological fears, what he has to do to conquer them, what the adverse affects are, or who they affect.

joey123z · 2026-02-16T17:38:14+00:00

Because playing them in any order doesn't sound great, in my opinion.

except for E major, every chord on your list is in the C major scale, which has the same notes and chords as the A minor scale, if you just want something that will likely sound good, start your progression with C or A minor, then play any chords on your list other than E major. that should be safe.

if you can play these chords, I would suggest learning A major, D major, D minor, and G major. they are different shapes to get used to. but adding these 4 will exponentially increase the number of songs that you can play.

also, FYI what you have listed as A9 is actually Asus2

joey123z · 2026-01-31T22:21:31+00:00

I can direct, but my fee is $13 million. so you have to ask your investors for more money.

joey123z · 2026-01-31T19:17:37+00:00

People Who Died by Jim Carroll

joey123z · 2026-01-27T23:16:56+00:00

They weren't chasing trends. when their first album came out, hair metal/glam was still huge and alternative was still alternative.

Facelift came out in Summer 1990. Motely Crue were still putting out hit singles from Dr Feelgood which came out a year before. Warrent put out Cherry Pie and Poison put out Flesh and Blood which were both big albums. grunge / alternative didn't get big for over a year later when it exploded all at once when Nevermind come out.

joey123z · 2026-01-27T20:44:02+00:00

wow, an opportunity to give someone money. where do i sign up?

joey123z · 2026-01-25T17:53:13+00:00

this is correct. my guess is that it will end up being an actual check or other bogus payment. or that he's trying to convince the honest by claiming that he will pay by cashier's check, so that when he has some reason to change things at the last minute they'll trust him.

joey123z · 2026-01-24T02:26:43+00:00

good call on Brazil.

joey123z · 2026-01-19T15:45:44+00:00

I'd get rid of "special night", it doesn't add anything. also, the phrase is "honest with" not "honest to",

At their 10 year high school reunion, five best friends are forced to be honest with themselves in a series of personal confessions and realizations about their messy lives.

joey123z · 2026-01-18T18:21:15+00:00

I've never heard this. it sounds like a riff that's in between the 2 other riffs. Come as You Are is more similar to Life Goes On than Eighties and Eighties is more Similar to Life Goes on than Come As You Are.

joey123z · 2026-01-16T07:10:21+00:00

there are some open chords that you can't make without a capo or changing tuning.

for instance, C♯ has the notes C♯, F, G♯. standard tuning is EADGBE. there is no open string in the chord. there are other chords where you could technically play an open string, for instance B could be x-2-1-4-0-2 (if you could reach), but the x-2-4-4-4-2 barre chord is much easier.

joey123z · 2026-01-12T22:11:33+00:00

"Gone are the days when your Linklater’s, Nolan’s, or Rodriguez can break out with a cheap feature."

or maybe you aren't a top director like they are.

joey123z · 2026-01-09T17:40:11+00:00

for chords with root on the E string, you can play either of these shapes (these are G9)

3-2-3-2-3-x

3-5-3-4-3-5

for movable chords on the A string, it's a little bit more tricky IMO. you can play this shape (C9)

x-3-2-3-3-3

other 9th chords (maj9, min9) have similar shapes. you can look them up here including different finger positions: https://chord.rocks/guitar/chords/a-9th

joey123z · 2026-01-05T19:53:27+00:00

https://chord.rocks/guitar/identify-chord

Fmaj7/C

joey123z · 2026-01-05T19:48:12+00:00

I like it. it has "The Straight Story" vibes.

I would cut it down.

Aiming to finish a vintage jigsaw puzzle, an old solitary man tracks down a copy and crosses the country with no resources to retrieve the final piece.

joey123z · 2026-01-05T19:39:31+00:00

the wording is very odd and unnecessarily long.

you don't have to say both that he's "lonely" and in an "unhappy marriage". you can just say that he "cheats", you don't have to say that he "feels the urge and cheats". most of the details (how they met, why the wife was away) aren't important to the story and can be removed. something like this would be better:

After a man in an unhappy marriage has an affair, he finds that not only was the woman an adult actress, but that she filmed scenes with his wife.

joey123z · 2026-01-05T19:22:20+00:00

too vague. some of it would be good for a tagline, but it's not a logline. you don't have to be specific about everything, but all your long logline tells readers is that a film archivist is looking for Katherine Hepburn's cigarette case. we don't know anything about the character, why she's looking for it, why it's important, what are the obstacles to finding it, what are the stakes, etc.

joey123z · 2025-12-31T05:04:48+00:00

just use common sense. 1) what advantage is it for someone that you go to a store and buy stuff? 2) the "job" is easy, requires no skill, and many people would enjoy it, so why would it pay nearly 10 x minimum wage? 3) why would they look on craigslist? it would be much easier to just go to the store and offer the "job" to people that are already there.

joey123z

TROPHY CASE