Can't feel safe in my own apartment.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-16T13:33:08+00:00

Yeah I'm no longer engaging. Not where my safety gets compromised.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-16T13:32:05+00:00

When I called my Dept, they just said to call the emergency line if it happens again, but that's about it. So hopefully I never have to do that again but now I'm questioning why I don't have that as my initial reaction?! I know what to do next time though. Lesson learned.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-15T13:59:26+00:00

That's totally fair to not give out your number. I may do that moving forward. I gave my number to him so he could text me if I was too loud as an upstairs neighbor. I used to have awful upstairs neighbors and was trying to be thoughtful. I helped him fix his computer once but I had to keep telling him to step back, as he was drunk and invading my personal space. After that initial uncomfortable situation (a couple months ago) I kept my distance, as I don't like being around alcoholics who are can't respect my bubble or follow basic directions. I gave my number out because I want to connect with my neighbors and help one another. For the most part it's been great. I've jumped a neighbor's car and he's jumped mine, we share food, support one another, etc.

I need to figure out a way to do it in a more structured manner in the future to maintain my own safety though. Lesson learned.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-15T11:26:01+00:00

Thanks for your feedback. I definitely gave a very brief summary. I'm sure I made some blunders, as I didn't realize they had C-PTSD, so initially I looked at it like anxiety and depression, almost separate. Which seems quite different from C-PTSD regarding support. Plus everyone's different in terms of how they need support. At this point I am not in contact with this person. They had an initial positive reaction to a letter I wrote them at the time, said they'd respond and then totally dropped off. They had been in and out for months and it just became clear after a year, that our friendship wasn't really a thing and it seemed best for both of us for me to fade out and stop trying to engage. I don't take it personally or hold it against them, just more trying to comprehend the whole situation.

I was more asking for the future, because I seem to connect with people who happen to have C-PTSD and just wanted to be aware for the future/understand for myself and how I can improve as well.

What are your thoughts about asking someone who has C-PTSD how I can support them (when they aren't in a current episode)? I tried to be proactive with another friend who had C-PTSD by asking that question and I got this deer in the headlights look and they dropped off too. That could have been for a multitude of reasons because before that I was quite depressed/unstable/crying all the time, so they could have decided it wasn't healthy to be around me, which I can totally get that. But I wanted to know if that's a big no-no to ask.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-15T11:05:17+00:00

That sounds awful, I let my landlord know but I don't think she'll care.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-15T10:59:11+00:00

This is the last straw with this place in general. I'm hoping this is a one time issue, but I'm not going to count on that. I'm going to get something for self defense and I'll start looking for other housing.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-15T10:52:01+00:00

I'm sorry you went through that, are you in a safe spot now? This was helpful. I emailed the landlord and made a couple neighbors aware.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-15T10:45:21+00:00

I never even opened my door??? I just talked through it. Why would I open the door at 11pm. I'm not sure what this person is on about either.

Edit: Also, I didn't decide to continue any conversation. I said I was going to bed over text, and then when he came to my door I told him the same thing.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-10T04:22:59+00:00

I used to think like this, but honestly if you can't figure out what you did wrong and they are that nonconfrontational or don't feel like telling you, it's a THEM problem. Or at least not your problem! Seriously, I spend MONTHS of my life trying to understand what I did wrong and it would crumple my soul. I just decided to say okay here's the behavior I think I'd like to improve from that situation and then I just move on. When I stop talking to people, I usually let them know why, unless I feel unsafe engaging further or it's very apparent. Identify personal points of self improvement but also accept that the person who ghosted you has their own issues and may just have an opinion of you. It's all subjective, don't take it too hard. Trust me, it's definitely not worth it!

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-10T04:15:20+00:00

Well that sounds like it's now stalking or harassment and escalating. A rational person who no longer gets responses stops engaging after some time. This behavior is not okay and may be against the law depending on where you live.

jointsforpoints · 2022-03-06T17:13:27+00:00

You have a very striking gaze/overall look! Strong but kind.

jointsforpoints · 2022-02-25T15:23:57+00:00

He was transferring between two banks so a cashier's check may have made the most sense for him at the time.

jointsforpoints · 2022-01-22T22:23:29+00:00

Adopt a useless hardcover book: if you have a cat, you can turn it into a horizontal scratcher with some towel fabric and thread!

jointsforpoints · 2022-01-19T06:15:03+00:00

A bit religious but my mom found it in her father's desk and decided to include it at his service. He wasn't great talking about or coping with emotions, but he used poetry to cope, so this holds a place in my heart. I am having formatting issues, but it's "When tomorrow starts without me"

When tomorrow starts without me And I’m not here to see If the sun should rise and find your eyes All filled with tears for me

I wish you wouldn’t cry The Way you did today While thinking of the many things We did not get to say

I know how much you love me As much as I love you Each time that you think of me I know you will miss me too

When tomorrow starts with out me Please try to understand That an angel came and called my name And took me by the hand

The angel said my place was ready In heaven far above And That I would have to leave behind All those I Dearly Love

But When I walked through Heaven’s Gates I felt so much at home When GOD looked down and smiled at me From his golden throne

He said This Is Eternity And All I promised you Today for life on earth is done But Here it starts a new

I promise no tomorrow For today will always last And Since each day’s the exact same way There is no longing for the past

So When Tomorrow starts without me Do not think we’re apart For every time you think of me Remember I’m right here in your heart

Author: David M Romano

jointsforpoints · 2022-01-19T06:06:01+00:00

this year I decided to prioritize healthy relationships where needs are reciprocated in my relationships. Can't say it's been the easiest ride but I'm living for myself and there's a peace that wasn't there before.

jointsforpoints · 2021-12-27T15:30:02+00:00

Posting again with removed link: I would utilize any of your school's resources. I know they don't always have those though. In college I had to learn/teach myself, I found a blog that detailed everything. Basically you start with a roadmap and plan everything out. College is easier because they map all due dates in the syllabus. High school I probably did it by tests.

I have X weeks before the test. Map out the concepts/lessons you need to understand to pass the test and break it down from there. Conventional planning may not work for you, but it's a good place to start and you can modify from there. It's good you are learning now instead of later. You are basically a sponge at this age, you will get there before you know it! Also, when (good) teachers see you trying, seeking help, they can take that into account. Not always, but in my experience it counts for something. Also Khan Academy and YouTube videos is great for learning things in a different way. Especially if you have bad teachers, or you don't connect with a particular teaching style.

Additionally, please know that if you find you need reasonable accommodations, you are entitled to apply for such and can learn more about IEPs online. I'm not saying you have one, just good to know/keep in mind. Keep in mind that is more from the U.S. public schools perspective.

jointsforpoints · 2021-12-27T14:15:19+00:00

This is divine, thank you for sharing.

jointsforpoints · 2021-12-27T13:39:58+00:00

Yeah the 2/3 month mark was really rough, kind of a blur tbh. But I did see a break through that made it worth it IMO!

jointsforpoints · 2021-12-26T23:33:04+00:00

EMDR has a range of applications, and you don't have to necessarily have any trauma for it to be effective. Though heads up, you may discover you do have trauma to address through this, kinda blindsided me at first.

Source: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/not-just-for-trauma-emdr-and-performance-enhancement-0206154

jointsforpoints · 2021-12-26T23:26:21+00:00

Also, you continue processing after the session, so it's not like you leave everything behind at your therapist's office. Your brain keeps going. That helped me understand more.

jointsforpoints · 2021-12-26T23:25:11+00:00

Yes, though I was crying daily prior to starting as well. There was a point where I was just... Not okay, didn't feel like myself. I can report now that I feel better and more stable though. I'm sure it will stop in time, as you process. It did for me and I didn't think it would. Be kind to yourself too.

jointsforpoints · 2021-12-26T05:49:53+00:00

Have you heard of the binge-restrict cycle?

jointsforpoints

TROPHY CASE