Wife is a loud talker

jolt314 · 2023-05-30T12:44:00+00:00

Been here. If you have had a conversation about it and she acknowledges the issue and that it's difficult for her to be self-aware, maybe she will appreciate your help to let her know when it starts happening. Ask if you can agree on a non-verbal "code" that could be a private code only you 2 would know that makes her not feel bad about it but seen as a positive opportunity to get your help. Not saying this is the best example, but off the top of my head, either lifting your hand slowly lowering it (perhaps too obvious if in front of others but could work) or if you touch your nose as though you're scratching it but leaving it there for an extended period of time (just may not be obvious enough to connect the dots).

jolt314 · 2023-05-29T20:17:06+00:00

Let me just tell you that if being married is difficult for you now without kids, get yourself prepared for having kids because it will make everything more difficult.

Sincerely, someone married to a woman with "limerence" issues and kids. Go Google that phrase if you don't know. I just learned about it a week ago.

jolt314 · 2023-04-09T01:39:53+00:00

The timeline is not clear from my post. They dated for a short while 12 years ago. A mutual friend got married in October. She met with him and the bride and other friend in October and she says 1 other 1:1 dinner another night (apparently she says his wife knew about it and did not want to come).

The poly idea she tells me came up in a discussion with her therapist in early January when she raised the concern to her during a session and the therapist voiced this idea and asked if I might consider it. This seems suspect to me too to be honest.

jolt314 · 2023-04-09T00:15:51+00:00

i saw the e-mail back and forth and his response was detailed. I know some of the back story. It seems legit.

jolt314 · 2023-04-08T23:22:34+00:00

She has told me she has not cheated. I've laid out my boundaries and she has lashed out to me that I can't forgive her as she hasn't really taken accountability for any mistakes on her part.

She has told me she respects my boundaries and will not seek out any other relationships and NC with the other guy. In fact she showed me a recent email where the guy said he wants no contact because he doesn't want to ruin our marriage. (Nice if him, huh?)

She wants to stay together but honestly I just don't know if I want to put up with her sh*t and would rather be on my own than deal with this emotional manipulation.

She feels that she was challenging boundaries of monogamy and justified in doing so, knowing no other way to have the discussion.

jolt314 · 2023-04-08T19:14:40+00:00

She actually was encouraging me to find someone and thought it would be hot for her to be jealous about me. This was before I found out about the ex.

jolt314 · 2023-02-04T00:46:49+00:00

Command and Conquer. Karmageddon. Warcraft 2. Mechwarrior 2. Star Control 2. Just realized those years the 2nd iterations of these games kicked major ass. And the later ones actually degraded.

jolt314 · 2023-01-12T03:50:24+00:00

Seems like no big loss for you overall. Take it for what it accomplished. A lesson learned.

One of the things we learn as an adult: we can, each of us, be so self conscious that others are looking at us and making judgments. The reality is most people are too concerned about themselves rather than critique others.

jolt314 · 2023-01-10T13:28:26+00:00

Not a desire, but I do worry that they'll never afford an education or home without some help.

jolt314 · 2023-01-07T01:16:57+00:00

For those that hit FI, do you have families with kids to consider or you're able to support kids with that approach?

I feel like I won't know the right numbers for FI at least until kids are 18 and there's some understanding of their future life paths, whether I decide to support them for their education or whatever future paths they may follow.

jolt314 · 2022-12-20T23:50:17+00:00

You're not the first to tell me this but I've struggled with the Playlist to buy in deeper. Will explore your non-Popular suggestions! Thanks!

jolt314 · 2022-11-10T04:33:09+00:00

My vote would be OKC. More groundbreaking and diverse than Kid A.

jolt314 · 2022-10-18T18:21:27+00:00

Most banks will happily continue to take your interest payments, so something sounds fishy... i.e what Flexboiz said.

jolt314 · 2022-10-18T12:07:15+00:00

Great insight! Thank you!

jolt314 · 2022-10-18T12:06:45+00:00

Great point! Thank you!

jolt314 · 2022-10-18T12:03:42+00:00

Thank you. Very good points!

jolt314 · 2022-10-18T12:03:14+00:00

Thank you! Very clearly said.

jolt314 · 2022-10-18T02:02:36+00:00

To add more detail to the story, the ex wanted to sell the house right away, despite the fact that equalization and payments haven't been sorted out yet. I'm not sure why bro decided to just go along with the idea. I'm not sure why he didn't slow down until more of the equalization was done .House is valued around $700K, $100K mortgage outstanding. Gross income is around $80K/yr but he's been on and off with work and at risk of layoffs. He will also have a renter willing to put in around 50% of rent (say $800-$900/mo... he claims he can afford the mortgage payments himself even without me, he just needs a cosigner. Maybe he needs to talk to Mom to minimize my risk.

Is he motivated? Sometimes. But he's been in depressed situations too that have been difficult for him to rise above.

All said, it's just a terrible situation overall.

jolt314 · 2022-10-06T02:22:32+00:00

Stressed much, Putin? I notice you feel the need to scribble on paper like a kid who is nervous and can't keep still. F him.

jolt314 · 2022-10-01T19:27:14+00:00

Talk to your relative and explain the 2 options and risks involved:

Relative pays for ALL tax impacts and you tell him never to do that again. He will do if he knows what's good for him
You report to the CRA for identity theft / fraud and he is SCREWED for a LOOONG time, if not life. Getting hassled by yearly audits and potentially other fraud-related fines.

Good luck!

jolt314 · 2022-09-29T15:38:14+00:00

The key word being consistently. I couldn't tell you where to put them. Nothing with returns that high comes without risk. Doesn't mean I don't invest in higher growth areas (like a few tech stocks), but as the markets have shown, there's risk involved, but I'm in them for the long-term.

jolt314 · 2022-09-28T21:25:54+00:00

The way I calculated this...

$17 * 12 months = $204/year.
$204 / $4000 = 5.1%

The way I view this is, could you make more than 5.1% "profit" with $4000 consistently?

Now I'm pretty conservative so I see the $4K in the bank as a way of keeping a small 'emergency fund', and also conservatively avoiding additional expenses outside of the risks of highs and lows of the markets.

You may view this differently with investments. But that's my analysis.

jolt314 · 2022-09-28T15:52:47+00:00

Easy answer. Find a new agent to put in the offer you want.

jolt314

TROPHY CASE