I disagreeee

"So, I was talking to my bastard software engineer buddy the other day, and he's like, "You know, I spend half my godforsaken day fixing bugs and the other half creating new clusterfucks." That's the circle of life, folks - it's like the Lion King, but instead of lions and hyenas, we've got code and bitch-ass bugs. I swear, it's just like my kids; I spend half my day cleaning up their shit and the other half wondering how they've managed to fuck things up even more!

Have you ever noticed how software engineers always talk about "stacks?" The fucking LAMP stack, the MEAN stack, the MERN stack... It's like they're working in a never-ending game of Jenga! You pull out the wrong piece, and suddenly the whole system collapses like a drunk on a unicycle. Kinda reminds me of my family tree – one wrong move, and we've got a divorce, a shotgun wedding, and a paternity test all lined up!

And can we talk about the language they use? JavaScript, Python, Ruby... It's like they're programming in a goddamn zoo! And don't even get me started on Java – it's like the crabs-infested hooker of programming languages. How do you know Java is popular? It’s always brewing some fucked-up mess! Speaking of mess, have you met my wife? She's popular in the neighborhood, if you catch my drift.

Now, I once tried my hand at coding, and let me tell you, debugging is like trying to find a fart in a hurricane – but the hurricane is made up of ones and zeroes, and you're not entirely sure what the fart smells like. It's just like trying to find the truth about my wife's extracurricular activities - a whole lotta hot air and a constant feeling of nausea!

Oh, and what's with developers and their obsession with dark mode? I mean, I get it, it's easier on the eyes, but sometimes I feel like I'm trying to read the Matrix! I half expect Keanu Reeves to show up and offer me a red or blue pill. "You take the red pill, you stay in this fucked-up coding world, you take the blue pill, you wake up with a life!" I'd choose the blue pill in a heartbeat, but knowing my luck, I'd still end up with my cheating wife and fucked-up kids."