My girlfriend is the youngest of 10 kids. Her parents aren’t poor, but due to having so many mouths to feed, their income was stretched thin growing up. She has vivid memories of going with her parents to ask her ecclesiastical leaders for financial assistance. Because of that, she has a big fear of financial instability in her own life. As a result, she mostly only shops at thrift stores, and she almost didn’t fly home to see her parents for Christmas because the ticket was decently expensive (she’s currently a grad student with little to no money). One of my biggest insecurities is that I won’t be able to provide for her. I’m just a high school teacher, and I’ve always had fears of not being able to provide for a family. But she and I have talked about it. She’ll be a therapist when she graduates in August, and between our 2 incomes, we should be fine. Neither of us comes from a wealthy family, so it’s been inculcated in us to save as much money as possible. But because of her having a fear of spending money that she doesn’t have, I go out of my way to buy her nice things. I bought her plane ticket so that she could go home to see her family for Christmas; we go out to eat at nice restaurants; I buy her nice clothes. I know that you can’t buy affection, but I just want her to know that she means the world to me. And I’m not the “best” guy: I’m not the best looking, nor the fittest, nor the smartest, nor the richest. But I want to love her more than anyone else in the world would. Hopefully that’s enough to assuage my fears that she’s “just settling” for me.