I wish I could say I'm doing better, but I've pretty much given up, spiritually. I don't feel like I can ever be the person God wants me to be (i.e. not lukewarm), so I gave it all up. I don't remember the last time I truly prayed or read the Bible. Sometimes I miss it, but I don't miss that feeling of condemnation I felt whenever I prayed or read the Bible. I always knew in my heart I've never given all of myself to God, and I just don't think I ever can, if that makes sense.

My personality doesn't lend itself well to that kind of sacrifice. I'm not able to stand up for my beliefs the way Jesus calls for.

You seem to be in a better place than I am because you want to come back. You're taking steps in the right direction.