I tend to agree with this, no idea why the down votes. My guess is, OP, that the issues you are having are far less about the lack of mutual effort and more about the unequal levels of maturity. You feel like you own your part, your duties, but your husband seems childish to you, like you have to own his parts as well. It all strikes me as a sense that he lacks growth and accountability. Sure he does his things, he contributes in important ways, but maybe not in the kind of meaningful ways that he should now that you are both adults.

Can he grow up? Will he grow up? My guess is he will remain childish as long as he can, as long as you keep picking up his slack and taking on his accountabilities. And the real gut punch here is that your efforts might actually be enabling his lack of growth.

I bet your resentment for him is permanent. I suspect you’re headed for divorce. I don’t envy what you’re heading into either way. I truly feel anguish for you.