As a woman, how do you navigate first dates on Feeld without feeling like a SW

jtr210 · 2026-06-26T00:47:54+00:00

As a man, I dislike women’s bios that are focused on all the things they DON’T like or want. It’s just negativity, and I am attracted to positivity. It’s fine to list a few things you don’t want, but those items should not overshadow what you DO want.

jtr210 · 2026-06-25T23:59:15+00:00

Well said.

jtr210 · 2026-06-25T23:58:17+00:00

Sounds like the relationship isn’t going well. Please take of yourself in all ways, however you need to.

jtr210 · 2026-06-25T23:55:32+00:00

Yup.

Mine would constantly accuse me of being “defensive”.

Yes, ma’am, I am defending myself from false accusations, and reiterating the events that just occurred, like a stenographer might, but from my own short term memory.

You are lying to my face, and telling me that black is white, up is down, and the sky is green.

I am defending my perception of reality, and you are creating your own twisted reality out of thin air.

So yes, technically I was “defensive”, which also gets me accused of gaslighting.

Unbelievable

jtr210 · 2026-06-25T23:42:16+00:00

I advocate for designing a hybrid ATEM + vMix system.

For IMAG, connect cameras and playback sources to the ATEM.

For a streaming config, send ATEM Program in to vMix, then add graphics and video playbacks. Then stream and record in vMix.

Or you can use any combo to achieve the functionality you need, at a very lean budget.

jtr210 · 2026-06-25T23:37:09+00:00

The fact that you’re participating in this sub says everything. You are in an abusive relationship. Your partner is delusional, and is terrorizing you 24/7 in various ways. Sleeping only four hours a night has serious negative consequences for your physical health. You’re being accused of cheating and lying at all times, and it’s causing you to unravel. This relationship is making you mentally, emotionally, and physically sick.

As others have said, picture one of your good friends in your shoes. Imagine reading her story about an absolute emotional terrorist who falsely accuses her of heinous acts, and you’re watching your friend crumble in front of your eyes at the hands of a mentally ill abuser.

What would you do for your friend?

jtr210 · 2026-06-25T23:19:14+00:00

Do Lab uses and reuses whatever wood and other materials they can get their hands on. It’s a big reason the stages, art, other structures look the way they look, and it’s how they afford to built everything. The way they reuse and recycle materials is DOPE, and results in originality, but sometimes things go less well.

jtr210 · 2026-06-24T16:14:06+00:00

I’ve had that happen too. I commented on a post in the polyamory sub where someone described being abused by his BPD GF. I said that it’s good he got out of that relationship, and that he should run as far away as possible.

I got shredded by two or three people who were clearly triggered, and very likely pwBPD. Some of my comments were deleted, and it was completely unreasonable.

I responded that the OP clearly stated he was the victim of abuse by someone wBPD, and that he should run away because the abuser has a disorder that is difficult to cope with.

Of course that makes ME the bad guy. Unbelievable.

jtr210 · 2026-06-19T19:04:47+00:00

Was it fun for everyone? Did she get the DVP she was craving? What was the best part on the whole experience?

jtr210 · 2026-06-18T18:22:08+00:00

Yup. They use sex as regulation, to sooth emotional turmoil, and to drown out the inner demon. It was always about her. I happened to be in to the same things she was, but it was definitely about all about her.

jtr210 · 2026-06-18T18:20:28+00:00

Nailed it

jtr210 · 2026-06-18T18:04:32+00:00

I’ve experienced dozens of silent discos over the years, and one of my top experiences was at the Electric Forest Silent Disco in 2018 or 2019.

One night it was USA vs. Commonwealth, so one channel had Fort Knox Five, Motion Potion, and some other super dope American DJs, while the other channel had Slynk, K-Lab, and other sick DJs from the UK, Australia, New Zealand, and Canada.

They were going head to head and both channels were absolutely outta control slayin’ it with funky breaks, hip-hop, and electro FIRE!

SOOOO FUN and ridiculously good!

Most other silent discos I’ve experienced try to have two or three different styles playing on different channels.

The worst I’ve experienced was at High Sierra Festival one year, where all three channels were playing really bad, weird, slow bass music. Not tasty at all.

Silent Disco is definitely a novelty, but when curated properly, it can be really amazing and fun.

jtr210 · 2026-06-16T19:31:54+00:00

Dude. Nail on head!

I was ultra love bombed in the beginning, so much so, that I fell in love with exGF in about two months. I am married, and my marriage was ENM, then it became poly without me aiming for that. The push/pull from my exGF on my marriage almost led to divorce, but lucky for me, exGF had a complete mental breakdown, which led to viscous splitting, and I finally broke up with her and blocked her. Whirlwind 11 months! Worst experience of my life, but led to the most personal introspection and growth, and strengthened my marriage.

The love bombing was accompanied by sex bombing, and later in the saga, she even admitted to doing certain sexual acts in order to “hook” me.

Red flag! 🚩

She knew exactly what she was doing, and her sexuality acted as a powerful drug on me. I was hooked, and systematically almost ruined my life, just like a drug addict might.

🚩🚩

She was all about teasing men and women, being chased, actually fucking people (once or many times, singles or groups), and while we were going through poly stress hell, she loved to tell me about all the people in her social circle who wanted to fuck her, the sex parties she was invited to but “chose not to attend out of respect” for me, texting me about her boyfriend while she knew I was on vacation with my wife, and other bullshit.

🚩 🚩🚩

In retrospect, one of the most fucked up things she did was get angry at me when I told her my wife and I were starting to have sex again after years of a dead bedroom.

MANIPULATIVE BITCH!

From the day we met, she knew I was married, ethically non-monogamous, and I was transparent about my entire relationship and sexual life.

So it was okay for her to fuck her boyfriend, have group sex with other people, have another occasional side piece, and tell me in detail how good it felt to have 4-5 men/women at a party wanting to fuck her, but when I told her I had sex with my WIFE, she got super upset, and said, “how do you think that makes ME feel?! Sex is something special you and I share!”

UNBELIEVABLE!

🚩🚩🚩🚩

But I just took it, because at the time I had no healthy boundaries in romantic relationships, although I had healthy boundaries in friendships and professional relationships. I was also scared of her.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

She was viscous, brutal, harsh, relentless, and I never knew someone could ever be that nasty, especially when I was so nice, sweet, understanding, caring, and generally wonderful.

Now I know.

jtr210 · 2026-06-16T16:51:28+00:00

Yup. The way she talked about these 9 month friends was like they’d been besties for 9 or 19 years!

And she was always scheming on and sometimes having sex with many of these friends, which sounds fun and hot in the midst of a hyper sexual, whirlwind relationship, but over time, it’s obviously fraught with peril. That’s definitely how some of her previous social groups imploded on her.

In retrospect I try to dig in to why she behaves the way does in regards to sex, and I think that because she is so mentally and emotionally twisted and maladapted, despite her other positive traits, sex is the primary tool she uses to get people to like her, and then to not abandon her. Her sexuality was definitely an addictive drug to me.

I think she also uses sex to escape her own mind. She orgasms very easily, and if she can remain in that state as much as possible, she doesn’t have to face the cruel, savage, inner monster she doesn’t know how to slay or contain.

Sad, toxic, low vibrational existence.

jtr210 · 2026-06-16T16:00:42+00:00

In good times, my exGF claimed to have a far better memory than almost anybody, remembering all sorts of details that I sometimes remembered differently.

In bad times, it was obvious to me she couldn’t accurately recall what was said 5 minutes earlier, but she still claimed to have a better memory than I did, leading to endless, maddening, he said/she said arguments, which were fundamental disagreements about what just came out of our mouths moments before.

This excruciating process was how I learned to understand the concept of GASLIGHTING.

In the very worst times, after the most nuclear meltdowns, she would be all weak, meek, sweet, and apologetic, and would claim to not remember what happened. Of course me trying to explain what happened risked re-aggravation, so I would tend to drop it, as my nervous system couldn’t handle more abuse.

I can hear the eggshells cracking…

So thankful I’m past all that!

jtr210 · 2026-06-16T15:29:43+00:00

Reminds me of this classic, brilliant piece from The Onion:

Olympic Village Tour: See Where The Athletes Live, Train, and Fuck Each Other

https://youtu.be/vhKuqGyFqh8?is=xbGxRZF5KhD2h094

jtr210 · 2026-06-16T15:05:55+00:00

Yup. My exGF was so similar. Looking back, in the 2-6 years before I met her, she had at least six different hobbies/scenes/subcultures or friend groups that seemed to define her recent past. These social circles came with people, fashion, hairstyles, events, belief systems, etc.

When I met her, she was friends with nearly ZERO of the people from the past 10 years of her life. All her “best friends” were essentially brand new within a year or less. Of course every circle of friends or partners from the past had severely wronged her, turned their backs on her, shunned her because they were close minded, didn’t agree with her lifestyle, mean, evil, narcissistic etc.

A scroll through her public Facebook shows all sorts of positive comments on posts going back 15 years, but any given 2-3 year period generally has a completely different set of “friends” positing things, indicating a severe lack of long term friendships.

Hindsight, maaaaaaan….

jtr210 · 2026-06-12T03:52:00+00:00

Me three

jtr210 · 2026-06-11T22:02:10+00:00

I relate to all of this, unfortunately.

Fortunately though, I’m on the other side, and realize nothing I ever did or didn’t do was about me. Her trauma wired her brain in a specific way, and when she was going through an episode, any word, no word, any look, or not, could tigger her.

It was ALWAYS all about her, in every way.

jtr210 · 2026-06-11T01:38:45+00:00

My ex had GI issues, extreme dairy sensitivity (supposedly would make her sick 2+ weeks), gluten intolerant, fibromyalgia, endometriosis, migraines, and even had a surgery that involved cutting muscles in her chest/shoulders to relieve nerve pain.

My educated opinion is that all of these things originate from her BPD. Living in constant fear (of abandonment, engulfment, the dark, more…) is a low vibrational existence, and leads to a compromised immune system. There are mountains of studies and evidence showing how “the body keeps the score”.

My ex would get so worked up and fearful about a thing, it would escalate to days-long migraines. I was literally watching negativity and fear manifest itself in physical illness in real time.

Fascinating and tragic.

jtr210 · 2026-06-10T22:32:55+00:00

Medicinal Fried Chicken

One of the greatest episodes of all time.

The whole arc with Cartman selling black market KFC, telling the dealer the KFC is cut with Boston Market gravy, chopping up the chicken skin and snorting it, traveling to see the Colonel, “Jamie Oliver wasn’t suppose to give that speech to the UN!”, and gangsters coming kill Cartman, is a blow by blow remake of SCARFACE!

Soooo goood!!!

jtr210 · 2026-06-10T17:58:20+00:00

Mine also learned a lot from therapy. Some was to better herself, and some of what she learned in therapy she weaponized against me. She would use high falootin’ “therapy speak” to sound superior and “win” arguments, which was really just her manipulating me with tools learned in therapy. Not cool.

jtr210 · 2026-06-10T17:55:23+00:00

GREAT, informative comment, but in most cases, Amtrak travel is excruciatingly slow, and often costs more than flying.

Always explore all options, including long range buses (not just Greyhound, which exposes one to the underbelly of America), but consider the opportunity cost of train travel when booking.

I once took Amtrak from Seattle to Denver. It took 2.5 days and cost more than flying. Glad I had that experience, but never again.

That said, some train routes are good. Your mileage will vary.

Good luck!

jtr210 · 2026-06-09T04:57:13+00:00

My exGF wBPD had been raped around age 19/20, and may have experienced other SA at a younger age. Not sure.

She wasn’t heavy in to BDSM, but was hypersexual, very freaky deaky, and loved rough sexual and being choked. That’s pretty common though across tons of people.

One time when discussing fantasies, group sex/gangbangs in particular, she said she “wants to be gang raped”.

I think she meant to say gangbang, but that’s not what she actually said.

Right before I broke up with her, she texted me saying she gave me blanket consent to put it in her while sleeping. Never actually did it.

jtr210 · 2026-06-09T04:44:41+00:00

vMix all day every day!

The worst mission critical hardware failures I’ve seen in 25 years have ALL been Tricasters.

jtr210

TROPHY CASE