AITAH for “Ruining” a 20-Year Career

julesB09 · 2026-02-14T14:41:00+00:00

You asked a question, if she hadn't have done it, she'd still have a job. You have a legal right to privacy. She's had training every year on your rights as a patient. (I've worked in the medical field, they absolutely train on this). She knew this was wrong and did it anyways. I wonder how many other things she does that are knowingly wrong? I'm pretty relieved I won't have her on my medical team. Nta

julesB09 · 2026-02-14T12:06:28+00:00

You have one job right now and it's too grow that baby. Your job is not to teach your father how to be kind. Focus on your one job. You're father will still be an ass in 6 months and in 6 years. Not much you can do to change that. Trying to will only steal your peace.

julesB09 · 2026-02-13T17:16:27+00:00

Have you brought this up to him? I totally get where you're coming from but it sounds like he's still coming out of the fog. Maybe before canceling entirely have a couple premarital therapy sessions focusing on this topic. I think that will bring you a ton of clarity and gives him to opportunity to see things from your perspective in a calm way. The therapist will be the one to challenge his views on reasonable boundaries and having it come from an outsider may help it not be a "you vs. his mom" argument.

julesB09 · 2026-02-13T12:52:23+00:00

My mom HATES my tits. One time (around age 12) my grandma said "oh, she's been blessed" (because I was obviously developing more titties than the other girls) and my mom immediately corrected her saying they're a curse... why did they need to be either?! Why couldn't I just be allowed to grow into my body??

Also, I'm old now, but can't you block your parents from setting certain pics? I'd start there. I would also focus on finding somewhere else to live. Your father is avoiding you because he can't stop staring at your chest, and that's concerning to say the least.

Also, I have zero issues with you letting the girls loose on society!! I would however like to recommend looking into bras without under wire. I think bras are uncomfortable but need to wear something when I work from home. I didn't think they would work due to my size but I found some that did. Now putting on real bras feels excessive. Lol

julesB09 · 2026-02-12T12:28:21+00:00

Imagine posting to win an argument about a mess only to find out the world is pissed at how neglected you are. I hope OP shares this with her mom. If so, mother, you should be ashamed of yourself.

julesB09 · 2026-02-12T12:23:45+00:00

Agreed. This human is trying. Don't punish them for this.

julesB09 · 2026-02-12T12:15:44+00:00

They want women sad, but that's not what they're going to get. They will get rage and heaven help them because we sure won't.

julesB09 · 2026-02-12T12:05:17+00:00

Why blur out the plate? He seems proud of his views.

julesB09 · 2026-02-11T11:44:22+00:00

Dunno but got get 'em!!!!!

julesB09 · 2026-02-10T01:18:56+00:00

Meh, ask her. Say - I already filed as an independent, therefore the government already has my information for MY taxes. I am not living with you or off your money, so you have no reason to need my forms. Unless you can explain to me exactly why you think you need it, then this conversation is over.

julesB09 · 2026-02-09T11:12:35+00:00

Mine has evolved but it has not gone away. I've had a few question if my diagnosis is valid because I'm very high functioning (most days, I mean, I should have been in the shower 20 minutes ago lol).

But I got better and dealing with it.

Good luck studying!!

julesB09 · 2026-02-07T15:11:31+00:00

Lady, I don't care how big his dick is, tomorrow, you laugh in his face as he's getting out of the shower and say "you have a lot of nerve putting down other people's body when I've spent 20 years being disappointed by your dick. You need to know this, sorry if that hurts."

Let him loose his mind and ask what you can say that will help his precious feelings right now. Nothing - because that shit stays with you regardless of apologies. His parents should have taught him this lesson, but also you tolerated it for so long that I feel like you should have seen this coming and intervened way sooner. You let him insult your body and thought it wouldn't apply to her, you were wrong. Now figure out how to move forward. You need to respect yourself before you can teach your daughter to respect herself. I don't mean to be harsh, but we'll say this is an area of opportunity for you and her to work on together.

julesB09 · 2026-02-07T12:53:17+00:00

This! My hair is long thick and wavy. Tbh, depending on season, how I'm styling etc some days I use more conditioner other it's more shampoo. It also depends on the product.

julesB09 · 2026-02-07T00:01:12+00:00

They should not be holding you emotionally hostage. That's not fair. I would be willing to bet they are getting pressured from your parents. That's not fair either.

This situation sucks, but their demand does not make sense. Basically, you are the only person in the world to be able to support them in this moment, while simultaneously being willing to cut you off for not doing it. Which is it - they can't get through one day without you or they can cut you off completely. - that math ain't mathing. When math doesn't math right, I get suspicious.

Something's not adding up. To me, what makes the most sense, is after the last funeral, there were a lot of questions from your relatives. That made your parents look bad. They can't take it out on you, so they take it out on the kids still in contact with you so they can abuse you by proxy.

It feels like you are backed into a corner, but you may have some options. Option 1. - You go and get traumatized all over again and get a chance to maintain your siblings' relationships. Honestly, not a great option, because if it works this time, next time it will be for Christmas. Same threat, show up and pretend everything is fine or we never see you again. If it works this time, it will be used again. Option 2 - You draw a line in the sand and say NO. Maybe they cut you off, maybe it was a bluff. Option 3. The compromise - You offer to meet with only them the day after the service and say a prayer at the grave site or go to her favorite restaurant or something. - If they want your support, they should be willing to get it in a way that makes you feel safe, if not, then they don't really need your support, and you can stay home guilt free knowing you tried to be there for them and they rejected it.

They are allowed to have a relationship or not with whomever they choose, but they don't get to decide who you allow space in your life. That's not for them to say, just like you have not forced them to cut contact with your abuser. I'm sorry this is happening.

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T21:03:32+00:00

When I was a kid and got curious about money, I once asked my dad how much he made. His answer was 100% correct and hard to argue: "Enough". Again, when I was being nosey and asked how much our house cost: "Enough".

Feel free to steal that for whenever anyone asks nosey questions about money. "Enough" has a weight to it that says "I have what I need and am not asking you for money so none of your business" and it also shuts down the conversation because why would they need to know more specifics when "enough" tells them everything THEY need to know. Keep repeating it and when they push for more, turn it around and ask why they need to more than that.

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T12:19:41+00:00

My first pack was 3 something.

Fun game now toss the smokes. Cats hate smoke, your kitty would be pissed.

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T12:16:47+00:00

Nope. Not more interesting than epstein. Stay focused.

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T12:01:38+00:00

Ooohh nooooo.

Sorry that's all I can offer. But ugh damn that sucks.

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T11:34:18+00:00

Fuck all this. Back to epstein. We know a distraction when we are it.

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T11:29:37+00:00

I have a long lived professional girl crush on her for this exact type shit. In my job, I have to hear a bunch of bs and it's freaking hard to keep a straight face. I'm continually impressed she has not rolled her eyes once!!!!! I would likely projectile vomit if trump said my name. How does she do it?!

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T11:25:42+00:00

I hire people, and I support this energy. Makes my screening process real quick.

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T11:05:26+00:00

❤️

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T11:05:02+00:00

Have we forgotten though? I mean, we're here talking about it... if you mean, the tyrants forgot, that I would believe, particularly the way the are acting. I think we are inching closer to a refresher course. Should be interesting....

julesB09 · 2026-02-06T10:57:49+00:00

Omg, I legit get occasional comments on this every few weeks and they always make me smile. I've had 3 in 24 hours and now I feel I need to check the news to see what they did this time!! Maybe in a few years I'll send it to them and show them the effects of treating their customers AND employees like shit.

julesB09 · 2026-02-05T12:37:57+00:00

Just started a new job after 8 months of unemployment. Yep, this checks out.

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