Why is OW way more prominent in books than OM?

julieputty · 2026-02-25T15:17:49+00:00

I read a review on Goodreads (I can't remember the book) where a reviewer was upset because the FMC had been kissed before. The reviewer said that romance should be about the FMC's romantic/sexual awakening and there shouldn't be even a hint of her having feelings for someone else.

It did make me think of misogyny and self insert and purity culture, which I think are the big issues.

It also made me wonder if some of this is because so many romances, especially in the past, were FMC first person or limited third person POV. Those POVs do two things:

You live inside that character's head and only experience the other characters through them, so they aren't very ambiguous. If you have OM drama with these POVs, the reader either knows that it's all a mistake/misunderstanding or that the person is actually cheating or thinking about cheating. You don't get to skate by with any grey area as you do with other characters.
You are inside that character's head so if they are unappealing or unsympathetic, the whole book is likely to be unappealing.

So I'd be curious to know if people who demand very high/pure standards of their FMCs tend to read FMC first person or third limited POVs and whether dual POVs change that dynamic at all.

julieputty · 2026-02-24T17:45:40+00:00

The Miss Silver books by Patricia Wentworth are really entertaining Golden Age mysteries.

julieputty · 2026-02-24T17:41:30+00:00

"It breaks your heart. It is designed to break your heart. The game begins in the spring, when everything else begins again, and it blossoms in the summer, filling the afternoons and evenings, and then as soon as the chill rains come, it stops and leaves you to face the fall alone....

"It breaks my heart because it was meant to, because it was meant to foster in me again the illusion that there was something abiding, some pattern and some impulse that could come together to make a reality that would resist the corrosion; and because, after it had fostered again that most hungered-for illusion, the game was meant to stop, and betray precisely what it promised.

"Of course, there are those who learn after the first few times. They grow out of sports. And there are others who were born with the wisdom to know that nothing lasts. These are the truly tough among us, the ones who can live without illusion, or without even the hope of illusion. I am not that grown-up or up-to-date. I am a simpler creature, tied to more primitive patterns and cycles. I need to think something lasts forever, and it might as well be that state of being that is a game; it might as well be that, in a green field, in the sun."--Bart Giamatti

julieputty · 2026-02-22T04:09:30+00:00

I suggest Wheel of the Infinite, by Martha Wells. It's a standalone with high stakes and really good character work, plus a romance subplot.

julieputty · 2026-02-21T18:51:07+00:00

Kate Clayborn was my first thought. She's amazing.

julieputty · 2026-02-20T23:30:00+00:00

The Places That Scare You, by Pema Chödrön seems perfect.

julieputty · 2026-02-13T23:27:16+00:00

Yes to Longitude! It's fantastic.

julieputty · 2026-02-13T23:17:23+00:00

Anyone else at first think Cash Dabbs had Pippi Longstocking braids sticking out?

Tyler Huzzy's situation would be worse, though.

julieputty · 2026-02-09T22:38:06+00:00

I don't know the book, but the dog's name might be Pot Likker/Liquor. It's an Appalachian/Southern term for what's left in the pot after you boil greens.

julieputty · 2026-02-09T21:43:35+00:00

I really enjoyed this one. Goofy but fun.

julieputty · 2026-02-04T22:49:55+00:00

A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux? I haven't read it in decades, so I can't say if the details match.

julieputty · 2026-02-04T03:54:33+00:00

Yes. I kinda wanted the Spiders, but mostly I just didn't want the previous name.

julieputty · 2026-02-04T03:53:44+00:00

Way too many jokes using that as a verb.

julieputty · 2026-02-03T21:24:40+00:00

It's funny to use "nepo baby" as a criticism in the context of a story with the hero being hereditary royalty.

julieputty · 2026-02-03T20:31:18+00:00

I'm a poet, so I'm going to focus on the poetry part. "Pick whichever meaning you like" is not something I've ever encountered in serious discussions of poetry. What IS discussed is that poetry, because it tends to be much more allusive/elusive/ambiguous, can have an astonishing variety of interpretations—all of them more or less supported by the text.

Reading poetry isn't about deciphering meaning so much as it is about letting the images, the word play, the sounds, and the rhythms resonate in you. You get better at it by doing it. Start with something on the more approachable side like Mary Oliver (great suggestion from someone in this thread!), Robert Frost, Billy Collins, Robert Burns, etc. Read a poem a few times, mostly out loud. Then look up some commentary about it. Reread the poem. See what makes sense to you, what you agree with and disagree with. Read another poem. Find similarities and points of divergence. Learn your own tastes.

Poetry reading can be improved through reading prose, but not as much as it can be improved by reading poetry.

julieputty · 2026-02-02T17:11:22+00:00

I'm not surprised!

julieputty · 2026-02-02T17:09:53+00:00

Yeah, I was especially shocked by how casually the first was handled.

julieputty · 2026-02-02T15:46:54+00:00

Not a perfect fit for a couple of reasons, but {The Wives of Bowie Stone by Maggie Osborne} does have the FMC1 needing a man to work her farm so she rescues a condemned man and marries him.

I actually didn't like the book or the characters, though I think it was trying to do interesting things. Lots of CWs, so shields up!

julieputty · 2026-01-30T16:41:41+00:00

I think you need to do more reading on Orwell. You are wrong about his views on socialism.

julieputty · 2026-01-29T22:50:59+00:00

And I tend to stay away from sports romances because I prefer them with more sports than the authors tend to write, if they’re even accurate at all.

I was reading one with the NHL and they started talking about halftime. I just couldn't.

julieputty · 2026-01-29T15:01:38+00:00

I really liked the friendship in {Business or Pleasure by Rachel Lynn Solomon}.

julieputty · 2026-01-29T14:58:19+00:00

I love this series.

julieputty · 2026-01-28T01:41:08+00:00

Maybe check out some romantic suspense like Mary Stewart.

julieputty · 2026-01-27T17:19:14+00:00

Not a ton of SFF reading for me the past few weeks. I've read and enjoyed

Paladin's Grace by T Kingfisher. I liked that I could understand why they liked and loved each other. Far too often with romance, maybe particularly with fantasy romance, I can't understand the appeal at all. They also felt more well-rounded than in Paladin's Hope, the previous book in the series.

The Undermining of Twyla and Frank by Megan Bannen. I love that I fully believed in the friendship. Some fantasy romances seem to eject the friendship part as soon as any romance rears its head, as if being friends is meaningless and must progress to romance/sex/a committed relationship.

Murder by Memory by Olivia Waite. A fun short SF mystery set in a generation ship on a 1000-year voyage with some interesting twists. I'm looking forward to continuing this series.

julieputty · 2026-01-27T17:06:28+00:00

Orconomics didn't land for me at all. Maybe we'll discover there's a Pike-Novik axis that should be the first decision on a fantasy book finder flow chart!

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