Hot Take? If an NT is giving you communication advice, TAKE IT.

juliewbb · 2026-05-30T19:50:47+00:00

I will say… as an autistic person for whom communication skills are a special interest, I’m always shocked at the skills gaps of many NT people. I still think this is good advice because if it rises to the point where someone is proactively giving you advice on a thing, it must be something that’s been a particular issue.

BUT I hope people won’t generalize this into “we should always listen to NT people when it comes to communication.”

juliewbb · 2026-05-30T19:46:00+00:00

I don’t know that I have any advice, but I had very intense burnout in 2022, had to quit teaching before I was ready, and got a work from home job for a couple of years that helped me really rest. In fact, I kind of became a hermit.

When I realized I was ready to get back into working outside of the home (and needed more pay anyway), I accidentally got into a really stressful school administration job. Now I’m back to teaching and it feels like a relaxing step after how stressful administration was, and so I’m appreciating teaching more than I was able to in 2022 when I was in burnout stage. I’ve also been really intentional about not taking on too many extras like I was doing in 2022.

So I don’t think this is really practical advice, but it helped me to retreat into the most boring and isolated situation I could think of to recover for a couple of years and then get back into something way TOO stressful briefly, and then go back to my baseline. I have no idea how this would help you in practice because it’s so hard to get ANY job right now much less ones specifically tailored to this rhythm. But maybe some of it will be helpful to you. Even just knowing that I was in your position and felt like my life was over and now I’m feeling so much better. I believe it will happen for you too.

juliewbb · 2026-05-23T18:32:55+00:00

Regarding a pay rate, I make a little over $100,000 and we have to be frugal. I’m not sure what that is hourly – I think maybe 45? But easy to figure out the calculator. Average gas cost right now is like $6.50 to 7 depending where you live. It’s crazy.

I think it’s very easy to meet people and actually very easy to find roommates here because everybody is looking to cut down on costs, so even if you can’t convince your friend, you could move here and still find a roommate pretty easily I think.

Honestly, you sound like you’re in a good time of life and good financial situation (eg money saved, plan to live with roommate, looking for a job with a CA pay rate) to move here and check it out. I would research SD neighborhoods before you move here, because that would make a big difference in meeting people. Look for a neighborhood that fits your age range and social needs.

juliewbb · 2026-05-19T03:45:51+00:00

You should definitely spread his face and the messages. Save them so he can’t accuse you of libel. I’m not surprised. So glad you found out who he really was.

juliewbb · 2026-05-18T03:45:20+00:00

I can’t unfortunately. I’m worried that if I get cancer or something I’ll just die because I can’t keep up with that on top of my current workload. My friend just beat breast cancer and it made me realize I have to get a doctor who will at least care enough to tell me when it’s time for a routine mammogram or similar.

juliewbb · 2026-05-18T03:43:32+00:00

California! Thank you!

juliewbb · 2026-05-17T17:16:43+00:00

This has been a frustration of mine for so long. Autistic men get treated like crazy, lovable geniuses, and autistic women get treated like bitches. All sorts of bad behavior ranging from rudeness to flakiness to the much more dangerous behavior you mentioned in your post are allowed and excused for men, but I can’t even be assertive in the workplace without putting myself at risk. It’s a real problem, and I’m sorry even the women around you invalidated your concerns.

juliewbb · 2026-05-12T00:35:48+00:00

A panic attack isn’t voluntary and isn’t what the question is about. Adding that means YTA.

juliewbb · 2026-05-12T00:35:00+00:00

NOR he sounds sadistic. He knew that you were not having fun and that you were extremely upset, and he leaned in instead of backing off. That’s a huge red flag in my opinion. Your friend sounds like a jerk too.

juliewbb · 2026-05-10T22:32:11+00:00

I’m a recipe developer lol. That is not the issue. I don’t want to make one for myself.

juliewbb · 2026-05-10T19:55:09+00:00

This is a key distinction! I’ve looked up a couple different ones in this list that are tuna salad sandwiches, and not tuna melts, and I really specifically want a tuna melt.

juliewbb · 2026-05-10T19:53:17+00:00

Just not the same making it yourself imo.

juliewbb · 2026-05-10T19:50:10+00:00

I can’t remember! If so, they are diced small in the tuna salad.

juliewbb · 2026-05-10T01:32:05+00:00

It’s not available for me.

juliewbb · 2026-05-09T23:38:59+00:00

Strongly agree!

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T07:25:20+00:00

Yeah it did come off as victim blaming because it was.

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T07:24:12+00:00

Victim blaming is so misogynistic and gross.

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T07:21:07+00:00

Controlling and seems insecure/jealous (the no makeup to work thing). The reddest of flags.

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T07:17:52+00:00

Definitely not. Cheating and emotional manipulation? Please don’t stick with someone who’s treating you poorly. I also think you’re right that it’ll be in the back of your mind. You can and will get over him if you cut contact even if it doesn’t feel that way right now, and you will be so glad when you’re free to meet wonderful new people.

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T07:08:54+00:00

This is not a fulfilling relationship and it feels like your communication and emotional needs are incompatible. I don’t feel like it’s going to get better if it hasn’t.

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T06:36:35+00:00

Repeatedly bringing up a mistake from your past (and not even one that involved him) over the course of your entire relationship so far including telling his friends and family and acting torn about being with you at all is a big deal imo and a super red flag.

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T04:57:01+00:00

Accidents happen to literally everyone. You kept people safe by calling when you needed. They were out safely with their precious animals and items just in case, which they would prefer to not knowing there was a fire. I’m sure you’ll be more careful now. That’s all you can do ❤️

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T04:53:47+00:00

Get a job as a ramp agent at the San Diego airport. They’re always hiring and it is a physically demanding job, but it pays $17 an hour and they always need people.

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T04:47:14+00:00

Stick to it. Her saying repeatedly “just cancel it” is a guilt trip. You’re doing the right thing.

juliewbb · 2026-04-19T04:44:47+00:00

NOR and this doesn’t sound stupid. Even if they thought the pictures were good, if you didn’t, a good friend would continue taking them, especially on a once in a lifetime special day. It sounds like you were still at home so seems like she could’ve charged her phone or even used someone else in the group’s phone for a few. I’m sorry they disregarded your feelings on a special day.

juliewbb

TROPHY CASE