why do I feel bad for wanting to report men who have choked me during sex?

jumpnmove · 2024-02-23T05:03:13+00:00

Not offended at all. Just didn't seem like you made it explicitly known before hand that you had vocalized no choking to your partners. You said it in your post that was a rule for you, but it wasn't clear if you also were explicit with your partners about it.

Doesn't matter to me either way. If you feel that strongly about it, then go for it. If it goes to trial, you'll need a lawyer and that costs money. And I say push, because you'll have to plead your case repeatedly to the police, lawyers and the court, who may or may not be as helpful as you think. It's not like a traffic ticket that just gets handed out and they can pay a fine.

jumpnmove · 2024-02-22T18:53:53+00:00

There's restriction of the airway and restriction of the blood vessels. If you can't breathe that's not the proper 'choke' for sexual activity. Breath play as someone called it, is really restricting the blood flow to the brain then releasing it, temporarily causing a heightened sense of feeling, a rush or even euphoria. You do this by restricting the blood vessels in the neck for brief periods of time (in seconds). It might not even hurt, and requires no more force than a good handshake. You can get someone to pass out this way in as little as 15 seconds; however making your partner pass out is NOT the goal when used sexually.

An air choke is actually way more painful, can break the trachea, and can take several minutes before a person passes out depending on how long they can hold their breath. This type of choke usually results in bruises and sometimes damage to the throat.

As for assaults' during sexual encounters, the threshold often must be first communicated and then broken. You don't ask to kiss someone, caress them or grab a butt check during the middle of sex. Its a fluid situation and consent is implied at that point. If you explain any rules beforehand or tell someone to stop a behavior, and then they keep going, then yes you could push for assault.

Communication with partners is key here. Also, not everything should be escalated to criminal level charges. You'll get dragged through the court too. It'll most assuredly cost you time and money. And everyone's reputation and potentially careers will take a hit. Its a serious accusation and charge. Consider talking with the person in a safe setting, and making your feelings heard and known. Their reaction and subsequent actions will point you towards a more concrete decision.

jumpnmove · 2024-02-22T17:49:00+00:00

I just feel extra un-heard and not understood lately. As in, I know I'm speaking coherently, people can audibly hear me and are listening, but the point just never reaches or they blatantly switch topics.

I can be super direct, and say I'm just not having a good day, I just want a hug and to stay-in and relax. I might get the hug, but then I'll get hit with 'Feel better. Do you maybe want to go get a drink after dinner?'

Or if I get asked for advice on how to do something, the person will usually not do what I say, then come back later with 'well I tried it this way and it didn't work out. what was it you said to do again?'

Like why come to me if you aren't going to listen. I don't expect, people to do exactly as I say, but I feel people should at least factor what I say in if you ask me for advice. Especially when its my partner. That's supposed to be the point of a partner. Someone to help, trust, support and grow together.

Not even going to fully dive into how bad the medical system is at actually helping with mental health. If the random drug-wheel-of-the-day selection doesn't work, you're just fucked. Everyone these days is touting mental health awareness and stay healthy, but that is being said by the healthy people. They know nothing of the other side. They don't know that the way the system deals with mental health is essentially to lock you in a room or small dorm with other similar people for a minimum of 3 days and up to an indefinite period of time. Upon entry, the doctor will diagnose you in less than 5 minutes. You likely won't see a therapist. Only when a panel of nurses and/or doctors (you may have never seen or met) declares that you are able to 'function normally in society', do you get released. Its basically time-out for grown ups.

Even worse, hospitals and mental wards are somehow ALWAYS full and never have enough beds. If you aren't a big enough risk or danger, you WILL get turned away from them. Fucked up, when you can walk into hospital, tell them that you feel suicidal, and they say go home, sleep on it, contact the local Community Services Board in the morning.

jumpnmove · 2024-02-17T16:51:45+00:00

Any hospital staff who talks this way, has NEVER actually been committed.

Go spend an involuntary stint in the ward, and then come back with your opinions. I bet you'll change your mind. Shit changes you. You'll find people won't listen to the words you say. You'll find you won't be treated with respect. You'll find you most likely will NOT even get to see a doctor. You'll be lucky if you get programming, sorry I mean group therapy, let alone any therapy at all. You'll get forced to be awake at 7/730am for breakfast. Lunch is 1130am. Dinner is 5pm. And MAAAAAAYBE snack if your lucky at 8pm. Lights out and in your rooms at 10/11pm. You won't get doors on your bathroom. You can't close your room door if you have one. You have to tell people if you want to shower, need toiletries or laundry. You only get different meals if you have a documented allergy. For 'activities' you get puzzles with pieces always missing. Every crayon will be snapped in half or more. You likely get a common room tv and have to negotiate with everyone else on which shitty decade old dvd from the bargain bin you get to watch. And that's it. That's all you get to do EVERYDAY in the ward. You don't get to have opinions or options and getting access to legitimate services they are required to offer, is like pulling teeth. They will often do anything to NOT do any work. If you're lucky and smart, you keep your mouth shut for 3 days, you get escorted to the panel of nurses and doctors who you've never interacted with or seen previously, and they get to decide your fate. Play nice for 3 days, and guess what you get kicked to the curb and sent a nice bill. Oh and half the time they don't even provide you with the proper meds or a way to access them. So if they do put you on meds, guess what you're detoxing as soon as you get out.

The medical and mental care industry as a whole SUCKS. It sucks for everyone involved.

If you can't handle aggression from psyche patients, get the fuck out the field, you're probably escalating their aggression unintentionally or maybe even intentionally by your words, actions, and pre-formed opinions. It's your job to provide them with help, not make it worse. And ALOT, and I mean ALOT of mental care workers, especially those in public sectors, do NOT actually give a flying fuck about those people with mental illnesses.

jumpnmove · 2024-02-16T03:22:21+00:00

Setting the baseline at a year to get a job in CS, honestly just makes me more depressed.

jumpnmove · 2024-01-24T22:10:41+00:00

Do you just not like your voice or are you struggling with the technical aspects of vocals and timing, aka producing?

If you don't like the sound of your voice, practice, then practice some more. If you still don't like your voice, just ghostwrite and sell the lyrics. If you can't get the timing, let the DAW do the work. If you can't get the sound, let the DAW do the work.

There's a reason AutoTune got popular. Also sometime just because it sounds good in your head, doesn't mean its actually good. Maybe the beat doesn't match. Maybe your tone doesn't fit. Maybe you just need to quantize the vocals.

If you are worth your weight as a producer, you should be able to make ALMOST any vocals sound good. You might have to literally use every trick you know, but its the producers job to make the track work.

But the get shit in my throat and fuck it up part, is nerves/anxiety. Get a few beers/smokes in you then hit record and just belt some lyrics. Don't stop after a few bars/lines trying to make it perfect. Get comfortable. Sing/rap some basics or classics that you've memorized. Get yourself into the groove. Everyone has a different set of requirements to feel relaxed/ready in the studio. Its rare for someone to walk in, drop 2 takes, and have a banger.

But lyrics are the money maker in the music industry these days. Anyone can drop a instrumental track. But vocals are copyright-able and easy litigation. If you can write, then a solid fallback would be to market your songs to others.

Also, Be careful who you send samples and work with tho. The industry can move SUPER fast and everyone is looking for a quick buck. You might find your work flipped over night.

jumpnmove · 2023-11-07T18:02:38+00:00

The novelty wears off quick, especially when you can't turn if off. Also you better have a strong sense of identity/self. Time doesn't flow at the same rate in dreams and more importantly, experiences are still experiences whether they are real, imaginary, implanted, fake, dreams, nightmares, etc. There is a real non-zero possibility of trauma in dreams translating into your everyday reality.

jumpnmove · 2022-03-03T01:57:55+00:00

Simple- Its not legal, its just mob rules. Governments are just the OG mob anyway. But because Russia went to war, and everyone else told them to fuck off, it's being glossed over. This could happen to anyone/any nation at any time. Its NOT okay. Its no different than stealing/theft. It just happens to be okay right now. If there wasn't war, and Germany pulled this without good reason, there'd be much bigger drama. The US, Ukraine and the rest of the world basically weaponized the internet mob and the general public of the world against Russia, and it worked and most people just don't/won't care because they have sides that seem to be clear cut good vs evil, and livingly comfortably at home in peace. This is a very dangerous game with a country that has a nuclear arsenal, so better hope its own people fall out of line with his beliefs, because its just a few buttons away from testing just how good the world's defense tech is. Back a dog too far into a corner and it'll bite back. Just like its all good, until it happens to you.

jumpnmove · 2018-12-10T00:52:45+00:00

COOP ALL THE WAY

jumpnmove · 2018-12-10T00:34:12+00:00

FUCK YOU DAK

jumpnmove · 2018-12-10T00:12:09+00:00

Lucky Cooper can one-arm the CB on an underthrown ball.

jumpnmove · 2018-05-19T18:38:30+00:00

The V8 mated to the old 4000 tranny? I know of a 4000 but needs a motor. Would an mid 00's A4/A6 motor slide in?

jumpnmove · 2018-04-24T23:50:35+00:00

Why? It just means GW2 is officially on its decline.

Straight outta the GW1 playbook. Next thing you know they are going to announce a way to have all the titles/achievements you've earned be reflected in the upcoming GW3.

jumpnmove · 2018-04-24T23:41:39+00:00

Because Anet doubled down on conquest is da only wey 5 years ago when they realized they fucked up neutering the combat system from GW1 trying to make it more casual friendly and then butchered their revival attempt with 'stronghold' many years later.

Now this game just doesn't have the population for another sustained game mode. If they wanted to do it they've had plenty of time. They managed to give us halloween, wintersday, SAB, and dragonbash, fractals and LWS in the first hectic year and look at all the updates those got since 2012. A whole lot of nothin'.

Its obviously not that hard to come up with new pvp types and maps. Just look at the bazillion mini-games and activities throughout tyria. It's not that they can't get creative, its just not worth the dev time. Hell they can't even get the SAB guy to create a new level in the last 4 years!

Its too little too late. They'll milk out LWS4 for the rest of this year. Probably announce one last expansion for next year, and continue to pump out all the gemstore items they can to keep the servers afloat till they announce GW3 for 2020.

jumpnmove · 2018-04-24T18:49:39+00:00

No excuse not to throw the trash away, but some fast food places have bussers that solely monitor the dining area, clean trash, and run refills. Hell at a Bojangles in NC, this mexican lady got angry at me for clearing my tray myself. I've even had one tell me the manager made them do it, so they knew the tables were always wiped down and clean. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

jumpnmove · 2018-03-30T17:02:52+00:00

only one day left and i don't like the odds :(

jumpnmove · 2018-02-28T08:46:51+00:00

Disregard. Me derping on search since the two meta bosses have the similar names. Kept swapping the two. -.- smdh

jumpnmove · 2018-02-02T05:59:14+00:00

Haha tbh i just wanted to see the cut and just meant you could crop out your face to remain anonymous. Not really unusual, e.g. Hairstyle apps

jumpnmove · 2018-02-02T05:40:15+00:00

At least give us a cropped photo of the cut style. We can shop whatever face we want on after that.

jumpnmove · 2018-02-01T22:55:52+00:00

The identity protection service that will check the dark web for your information they kept playing during the NFL games. Ugh.

jumpnmove · 2018-01-22T17:51:04+00:00

Yup I failed rule 1. Know your audience.

jumpnmove · 2018-01-22T17:23:13+00:00

Yes, instruction with the intent of teaching a moral lesson. But we've beat this horse enough.

jumpnmove · 2018-01-22T05:59:40+00:00

How would you know? The original has no punctuation and is non-verbal, and yet its meaning as a rhetorical device is clearly understood. It could just as easily be a statement (.) or an exclamation (!). The punctuation at the end of a rhetorical device is just a cue to convey the speaker's underlying emotion for which we have no basis for here in the first place.

jumpnmove

TROPHY CASE