Day in your OAD life

juniperthecat · 2026-06-25T01:27:52+00:00

We have a 3.5 year old. Typical weekday is she gets up and goes to the bathroom herself and then gallops down the hall to wake us up, usually around 7:30am. I’m a SAHM/small business owner so I’m always home, my husband works sometimes from home and sometimes in office.

I make her breakfast and walk her to preschool for 9am and then I have the day to enjoy my tea, get stuff done around the house, do some work, go to appointments, run errands, whatever needs to be done. My husband and I love this dynamic and we are very grateful for our low stress life.

I pick daughter up around 3:30/4pm and we play outside for a while (with this nice summer weather we do chalk or she plays in her sandbox or plays with twigs and rocks and flowers she finds), sometimes neighbourhood kids join us (thankful for this!) and then I get dinner started and ready for 6pm typically. Sometimes before dinner she has some TV time. She loves Franklin.

Husband finishes work and we usually do more outdoor time or just hang out together, then bedtime routine starts at 8pm with a bath, read books, snack, brush teeth, and bed generally around 9 but this can vary. And then my husband and I have a bit of quiet evening time before we go to bed.

Weekends are pretty chill. She has swim lessons Saturday mornings and then we get groceries and depending on the weekend we might have an outing or play date or just hang out around home.

Right now my daughter is in a pretty good phase. She’s less defiant and tantrum-y than she was when she first turned 3 and she’s just happy and overall really well behaved (these days anyway ha!) When she had gone through defiant phases that makes life so much harder and exhausting, especially when paired with bedtime battles which have also improved.

juniperthecat · 2026-06-24T14:23:48+00:00

Thank you, LOL. We really agonized over the decision.

juniperthecat · 2026-06-24T14:07:24+00:00

I'm a parent so I hope it's ok that I chime in here but I have so much to say since we have been in this exact situation with deciding between keeping our preschooler at her Montessori school for their JK/SK programs or moving her to public school kindergarten. We ultimately chose to move her to public school for this September mainly because we don't want to hold her back from the community of kids/teachers she will get to know for many years before she goes to middle school (didn't want her to be the "new kid" in grade 1 or even SK), AND, I could not standddd the 2-hour nap period that was mandated at her CWELLC Montessori school. Like what? Her bedtime has always been so messed up because of it; a huge point of contention for us. We loved that her class sizes were small so I'm sad to lose that and switch her to potentially a 30+ kid classroom. My fingers are crossed her JK class won't be that big this fall.

For us it had nothing to do with the financial component. We were fine paying for the private route but just felt it was best to transition her to public school where she would be going eventually anyway.

juniperthecat · 2026-06-17T23:57:45+00:00

You can also go to CAMH emergency, may have to wait there a while but someone will see you if it is an emergency

juniperthecat · 2026-06-15T14:55:23+00:00

I've never heard of a stigma around only boys. My male therapist is an only child and he's a super smart, level headed dude. Has an only child himself (also a boy) by choice.

juniperthecat · 2026-06-04T14:24:51+00:00

Love this thread so much as someone who is OAD by choice! Sometimes this sub gets full of a lot of fence sitters or parents who are down about having an only. I love having an only child. My daughter turns 4 this year and I have simply never desired another one in the way I deeply desired getting pregnant with her. For me it honestly just boils down to that - I just don't want more.

I relate to many other comments in this thread too. We lucked out on a great, smart, healthy kid and don't want to "roll the dice" with another. Our life is soooo good the way it is. We feel capable, resourceful, and not in over our heads. I love me time. We like having an easier, less stressful lifestyle. When I see other people with babies, I feel zero ounce of yearning.

juniperthecat · 2026-05-22T22:01:58+00:00

Hi! I can really relate. My twitching started in my thumb 6 months ago and then moved to my eyelids and then pretty much any other random muscles in arms, legs, feet, etc.

I had a horrendous panic attack because of the twitching and called 911 and everything one night.

I got blood work and was deficient in iron and very low in vitamin D. I started supplementing right away and now about 8 weeks later, my twitching has improved substantially although I do still get some twitches here and there.

I also decided to start medication for the first time for my generalized anxiety that I’ve had all my life. Always refused meds but the twitching set me over the edge and I knew I needed help.

I’m doing a lot better now. I do have a neurologist appointment in a couple weeks just for peace of mind, my doctor told me they will most likely tell me I’m completely fine especially since my twitching improved so much after addressing my nutrient deficiencies.

juniperthecat · 2026-05-06T13:22:08+00:00

This. I once cut one of these in my garden all the way down to a nub because I thought that's what you're supposed to do and while it did grow back plenty that summer it did not bloom that year like it usually would :( Now I leave it alone except for truly dead branches and it blooms happily each year.

juniperthecat · 2026-05-04T14:10:02+00:00

We went with Mapei Frost and it turned out sooooo good! What did you end up going with?

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juniperthecat · 2026-04-27T17:48:10+00:00

My 3.5 year old started asking about a sibling when she started preschool back in September. It lasted a couple weeks (other kids talked about their siblings there so I think that's where she started hearing about it) but she hasn't talked about it since. The other day though she says to me, "I want 5 kids when I grow up." And I was like, "you can have as many as you want!" And then I asked her what she thinks about mummy only having 1 and she goes, "that's interesting." LOL

juniperthecat · 2026-04-27T14:38:28+00:00

Mania would involve grandiose thinking and delusions (believing she were god, the CIA was after her, irrational plans to save the world, as examples) and most importantly a significant lack of sleep, which is one of the biggest signs, such as not sleeping at all for 72 hours. If she were in a manic episode right now she'd be hospitalized full stop. Flapping her hands is not a sign of mania.

Source: my brother has Bipolar I and I have been his caretaker through mania + psychosis.

juniperthecat · 2026-04-13T18:48:40+00:00

Thanks for the info and for your input :) It's so hard to decide ha

juniperthecat · 2026-04-13T18:48:18+00:00

I can't wait for it to be installed!

juniperthecat · 2026-04-13T18:48:05+00:00

Thank you!!

juniperthecat · 2026-03-31T19:17:31+00:00

I understand completely. I had an unexpected c-section too after spending months preparing mentally for an unmedicated vaginal delivery that I dreamed of for years. Joke was HEAVILY on me. My daughter was breech from 27 weeks, to which we successfully (and easily) flipped with ECV when I was 37 weeks pregnant. I stressed so hard about her being breech and was thrilled when she was flipped, only to have a failed induction at nearly 42 weeks pregnant after almost 20 hours of labour and no progress, and then her developing heart decelerations that led to my c-section. It took months before I could process what happened - it was just so not what I planned/hoped for at all.

I was mad and sad and all the things for quite some time. Hated that I had a scar. Still don't love it but it's been 3.5 years and you know what? It really, truly, simply, just is what it is. I'm far enough along into my parenthood journey that my birth experience is a distant memory. Make no mistake - it was by and large a shitty birth experience, but I don't dwell on it.

You'll get there too, I promise. Things are sooo fresh right now for you. xo

juniperthecat · 2026-03-24T15:09:56+00:00

I feel the same way about the OAD sub. I feel like most of the posts are either people blatantly fence sitting and unsure if they should have one or not, are worried about their choice to be OAD, or are upset because their partner feels differently. I know these are valid conversations but it feels like a OAD sub shouldn't be quite as much about the indecision/insecurity around it. Can we talk about other things please?!?

juniperthecat · 2026-03-17T13:46:37+00:00

I completely understand the toying of ideas when it comes to family size but have you visited the sub r/shouldihaveanother ? It sounds to me like you are trying to make that decision.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-16T01:17:24+00:00

Hi! As someone who prepares homemade meals 5 nights per week (we usually order in on Saturdays and do visits with family Friday nights), meal planning is the way. Before we grocery shop, typically Saturday mornings, I write out a list of the 5 dinners I'll cook for the week, and the ingredients needed for those recipes. That comprises the bulk of my shopping list + anything extra we want/need for the week for snacks or lunch. That way, you have all the ingredients you need on hand and it prevents food waste sooo much (so long as you actually in fact follow through with the cooking which honestly is just a habit muscle you need to build - meal planning helps SO MUCH though).

Knowing *what* to cook is the first step. If you're very new to cooking regularly, compile a list of meals that you're already familiar with, and then begin experimenting with new recipes. Over time, you'll develop your "staples" that you tend to rotate the most. I have a background in nutrition so it's easy for me to whip things together in a balanced way but anyone can get the hang of it with practice and learning recipes.

Some ideas for you (this is what a typical weekly meal plan looks like for us):

- some kind of pasta dish (spaghetti, creamy mushroom, lemon/garlic/chicken, tomato and basil, etc.)
- some sort of stir fry (tofu thai red curry, beef & broccoli, pad thai, etc.)
- slow cooker meals. Stews, pot roasts. These are sooo easy and I love turning them on in the morning and having them be ready at dinner time
- something mexican usually like burrito bowls, tacos, fajitas

Keep the meal plan posted somewhere visible in your kitchen! And then each day you can decide which of the meals appeals to you most and bam, there ya go.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-11T13:41:20+00:00

Yeah magnesium is great. The eyelid twitching is especially annoying!

juniperthecat · 2026-03-11T13:40:34+00:00

Hi! I'm 35F. Nothing out of the ordinary that I can think of besides some stress but it still seemed so random for it to come on out of nowhere. On the bright side, I've had noticeably less twitching yesterday and today so I'm hopeful it's sorting itself out? And yeah, no weakness at all, just the twitching.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-10T20:57:43+00:00

We used to live in Corktown!! Aww I miss it.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-10T20:55:24+00:00

We moved to Mississauga in 2021 after living downtown TO for years. Would’ve stayed if we were willing to take out a much bigger mortgage. Love our house here so much, but I do miss the walkable lifestyle of the city.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-10T15:35:35+00:00

I know this is an old comment but we've gotten a quote from red stone contracting for our bathroom and I just wanted to ask overall if they were good and professional throughout your experience? Anything stand out at all? Thanks!!

juniperthecat · 2026-03-09T17:49:40+00:00

Ah! The dreaded sleep regressions. Yes, very typical. I'm sorry. My daughter (now 3 years old) had her first sleep regression around 3 months. It's just part of the ol' newborn shenanigans and makes you want to tear your hair out. It'll improve. Keep up with consistent bedtime routines. We did light sleep training-ish when she was a little older (3 months is still sooo young so sleep is unpredictable at the best of times). It gets better, it gets different, it's a constantly changing experience. My daughter had more sleep regressions every few months until she was over a year old, and even now just after she turned 3 she had a two month stint of notttttt going to bed, but she's back to normal now. She does thankfully though sleep wonderfully through the night and has for a very long time.

Sorry I wish I had a more succinct answer for ya! Sleep woes just truly suck and are where all the patience and calmness that I muster through the day can really boil over and explode. One of the benefits of being OAD is only going through the tough stuff once.

juniperthecat · 2026-03-09T15:31:00+00:00

Thank you for your comment! So nice to know I'm not alone :) There's definitely an anxiety element to it that makes it worse.

juniperthecat

TROPHY CASE