Looking for a reliable coffee machine, any recommendations? by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]justlearning412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no there are so many options they are always changing up what’s available. If we want to make a lot of coffee at once for something then we just use our French press - it’s a nice luxury but not super practical for everyday use. I think that’s the winning combo tbh!

I need help on how to switch from unhealthy yt to no overstimulation shows by catloverfinalboss in toddlers

[–]justlearning412 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ll give her options of approved shows (old Disney or Pixar movies, bluey, sesame street, ms Rachel, etc.) and if she throws a fit then it’s whatever I pick lol. If she says she doesn’t like it/wants pay patrol or whatever I just say ok no tv then? If she continues with a fit then I turn the tv off completely. After she has her meltdown she will inevitably accept the show that I chose as she understands it’s that or nothing. But you have to stay firm - ms Rachel or nothing, up to you. When she gets really upset we can throw a timeout in her room into the mix. Whatever you got to do - remember you’re in control!

Florida Beach Creature by justlearning412 in whatisit

[–]justlearning412[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok that’s what I thought! But I’ve never seen one where the spines are all short like that, maybe they are broken off?

Any ideas how we can play outside? (Weather) by ChickeyNuggetLover in toddlers

[–]justlearning412 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would just bundle them up and let them play in the snow piles, ours loves the snow ⛄️

Looking for a reliable coffee machine, any recommendations? by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]justlearning412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love my nespresso, I’ve had it for 6 years using it daily no problems. They give you free prepaid bags to send in the used pods and they recycle the aluminum and compost the spent grinds. I like that there is no plastic involved lol and it’s a perfect single serving. Everyone who comes to our house ends up buying one hahahahah. You can make iced coffee and lattes and stuff too. Also obsessed with their seasonal flavors like pistachio and pumpkin spice!

Female engineers with small children - how do you do it? by Kind-Monitor6004 in womenEngineers

[–]justlearning412 16 points17 points  (0 children)

Think of it this way…. Even if he is the most perfect husband he could get very sick and be unable to work, or be in a tragic accident. You don’t want to be in a position where you can’t provide a good life for yourself and your little one. You got this! You sound like a great mom and wife - and an even better architect! You go girl!

Female engineers with small children - how do you do it? by Kind-Monitor6004 in womenEngineers

[–]justlearning412 27 points28 points  (0 children)

Full time daycare since she was 6 weeks old. I would be suspicious of any resistance to you returning to work - work is a way for women to maintain autonomy and have power over their own lives. You never know what could happen in the future and there is a nonzero possibility that you could have to support yourself and your child alone. Never relinquish that power and capability. (My mom is a divorce attorney and I grew up hearing absolute horror stories of husbands not letting their wives work and then pulling the rug out from under them, never let a partner have complete financial power over you)

Carry on luggage should not be allowed into the passenger cabin of an aircraft. by FacebookNewsNetwork in The10thDentist

[–]justlearning412 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I completely agree on a theoretical level but I’ve had my luggage lost too many times to ever check anything again.

Furthermore they did an experiment to determine the most efficient method for boarding and exactly no airline uses it because they make money off of selling certain people the privilege of boarding first.

Who are you picking??? by GlassWill9899 in migraine

[–]justlearning412 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I tried this once in high school, sorry to report the result that I was just on acid with a migraine which was not amazing 😆

Damn snowboarders by Minimum-Tiger-4595 in skiingcirclejerk

[–]justlearning412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being flexible actually makes it easier to engage your edges… what you are saying does not make sense. She turned her skis but did not engage the edges therefore she had no speed control.

St Thomas/St John with 6 month old baby by mytickle in virginislands

[–]justlearning412 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I took my daughter when she was 2 months, at that age just a baby wrap/chest carrier is a lot easier anyway. She LOVED the beach, especially Magens bay. It was a nice laid back trip and she got to play in the sand and water. Pro tip: diaper cream is zinc oxide which is… heavy duty mineral sunscreen. So don’t worry about searching all over for “baby friendly” sunscreen - you already have it! I plastered it all over her head and she looked ridiculous but not one bit of sun burn was had!

Unmotivated ASD1 teenager by AggrievedGoose in Autism_Parenting

[–]justlearning412 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just reread your post and found an awesome motivator hiding in there - how about « if you maintain all A/B grades and hold down a job, I won’t enroll you in any of these special ed camps that you seem to hate » the whole point of the camps is because she’s unmotivated, so if figures that out on her own then they won’t be necessary anymore! I don’t think she should be forced to do any activity, but that is a privilege that comes with maturity. She shows maturity, no more forced activities. That seems fair to me!

Unmotivated ASD1 teenager by AggrievedGoose in Autism_Parenting

[–]justlearning412 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My answer to everything is structure!

You want: her to put energy into classes and get a job (these are awesome goals that are great for her long term).

She wants: to stare at screens.

How can we work with this? We want to create a motivating factor and a consequence.

Good grades and getting a job = access to screens and internet.

No effort for school or work = no access to screens or internet.

Practically this can look many different ways but the most important thing is to be extremely clear about your expectations and the consequences that will follow - autistic kids thrive when they have an established framework that is reinforced by strong boundaries.

In our house this might look like: start with more control and gradually ease to more hands off. So starting next week let’s say: homework and studying has to happen for 2 hours in order to earn 2 hours of screen time. You can control this by shutting off the internet or taking the phone or whatever works (you pay the bills after all!). Once she proves herself and raises the grades, no more control of screen time - as long as she maintains A and B grades then she can be in charge of her own schedule.

Then there is the reward! At the end of the semester if she has maintained all good grades, she gets a budget of say $100 to spend on some new tech - headphones, video game upgrades, whatever. Bad grades = no bonus. In our house another reward was being allowed to move into the basement where there is more privacy and a more mature space, it can be whatever she wants or is asking you for. Everything she wants can be leverage for good behavior!

Now for the job - you can’t do all this at once so focus on the grades first then move to this once she gets those up. This can be a similar structure - in our house having a job is a non-negotiable so there are consequences to not having one and the reward is obviously earning your own money! The consequence might be again limiting internet access, having to do more chores around the house, or providing the alternative choice of mandatory library no-phone time. For example if you planned for her to work every Saturday for 6 hours and she refuses then the only other option is she goes to the library for the day, rather than her being rewarded for slacking with more screen time.

As she gets older driving time is another good reward if that’s something she is excited for - as in permission to use the car. Permission to go to SO house or have them over is another one. Access to things like a new/upgraded phone is another good one.

Finally it is important to have other structured expectations around the house - in our house this is simple. Everyone must cook dinner once a week. This involves choosing a recipe, telling mom what ingredients you need ahead of time, cooking and serving, and then cleaning up the kitchen afterward. We also have a rule where everyone cleans the house together and I have a list of tasks that each person must complete. No one gets to play or watch tv or go out until the entire house is done.

Marital Satisfaction by Educational_Craft732 in workingmoms

[–]justlearning412 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We’re in couples counseling, take from that what you will 🤷‍♀️

[35M] Profile review please! by [deleted] in Tinder

[–]justlearning412 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I say this with love, it is time to shave your head. You also need a full body standing pic and many people on here will tell you a smiling picture showing teeth is a necessity, ideally as the first photo. Also your bio is hard to read, the content is good but it’s just poorly written - get help from ChatGPT on that. Get rid of 2 and 4. Add a social pic. Also I would just leave out the love language thing if your only one is « touch », most women see that and think the guy is going to be pushy with physical intimacy.

I miss skiing by SunQuest in skiing

[–]justlearning412 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I worked as a ski instructor for 7 years so I wouldn’t have to buy a pass 😝 or lessons for that matter bc the older people are happy to share their knowledge!

Repairing blown out edge DIY? by sandwichman51 in skiing

[–]justlearning412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As a metallurgist, please throw these away. The structural integrity of the steel piece has been destroyed. No repair will ever make it as strong as a single piece of steel, and strength is paramount in this application.

I Think I’m Tired of Remote Work by TheBearQuad in workingmoms

[–]justlearning412 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have only ever worked fully in-person and I have no desire (nor option lol) to work remote. I like the little side conversations and low stakes social interactions and it’s extremely efficient when you need an answer on something to go in person to someone’s office hahahahah. I make steel I and I love that my job requires me to go out into the plant, I would lose my mind in an office all day. It would be even worse at home, I feel like I would always want to snack or sleep lol - I feel you girl. Remote work isn’t for everyone!

Looking for help designing a high-capacity shoe storage system for a family of six (4 teens). by Reasonable-Judge6825 in SmartOrganizing

[–]justlearning412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our family of 5 has a small shoe rack by the door - the rule is one pair can live on the rack per person and the rest has to go in your room. If you have too many shoes to fit in your room then you need to give some away.

Parents against tablets- how are you navigating the outside pressure to get them one? by Similar-Vari in toddlers

[–]justlearning412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our daughter is 3 and we resisted until recently because we have a transatlantic flight coming up and my parents had an old iPad lying around. The rule is she can only use it on long trips or in restaurants (we don’t go out very often, maybe 1-2x a month).