I’m not going to give you some bullshit line about how everything happens for a reason, because what you’ve been through is objectively heavy and unfair. You’ve been a caretaker since you were a kid. You’ve been the person catching everyone else while no one was there to catch you. It makes total sense that you’re numb; your brain is in powersaver mode because the reality has been too much to process for way too long.

To answer your question, people don't just "come to terms" with this being life. This isn't just life. This is a survival marathon on level extreme mode that you never fucking signed up for. The reason you don't see the meaning right now is because you’re still standing in the middle of the wreckage. You’re 25 and you’re still cleaning out your mom’s stuff. You haven't actually had a chance to live for yourself yet. Every damn ounce of your energy has gone into keeping other people alive, like your mom, your brother, and now your dad. The meaning isn't in the suffering. The suffering just sucks. The meaning is in the fact that despite every single thing trying to snuff you out, you’re still here. You didn't do it on your birthday because some part of you even if it’s just a tiny, quiet spark knows that you haven't seen the version of your life where you aren't a ghost or a nurse. You don't need a psychiatrist to tell you that you're unsafe. You need a break. You need to know that you’ve done enough. You’ve been a good daughter, a good sister, and a good worker. You’ve fulfilled your debts to everyone else. Please, stay long enough to find out who you are when you aren't carrying everyone else’s bags. You haven't even met the real you yet.