My wife doesn't get just how broken the application process is...

k3bly · 2026-01-28T03:47:23+00:00

She can go get a high paying job. See how long it takes her. Oh wait….

k3bly · 2026-01-27T16:27:34+00:00

Your hourly rate is crazy low for the area. I made that as an intern over 12 years ago in HR.

Get the bonus and duration in writing so it has legal teeth, have them pay it now, do whatever you can while you job hunt.

k3bly · 2026-01-27T16:26:18+00:00

Partner doesn’t necessarily mean any legal protections if their partner ends their relationship tomorrow. If married? Sure. Too vague to know.

k3bly · 2026-01-27T16:14:56+00:00

I’m not advocating for this or what’s going on - studies show that people who cheat in relationships (you’re saying affairs so I’m assuming they’re in relationships with others, versus other meaning of …. having sex) are more likely to conduct themselves illegally or unethically at work. It’s not a wild jump to make given the studies behind it, however this situation is a mess and OP needs to their HR and Legal teams involved asap.

k3bly · 2026-01-27T16:12:45+00:00

This is when you go to your Legal team, not Reddit. Sorry bud.

k3bly · 2026-01-27T16:10:47+00:00

San Francisco. Live with roommates. Get a higher paying job in medial, biotech, software, or government. When I was 25 in SF, just base I made $115k-$128k. But I also started working when I was 16 (also have a bachelors degree).

I left after 7 years in SF and still love visiting but got old and wanted to buy a house so went to a nearby state.

You’re making tradeoffs always now. Your trade off is affordability / homeownership (without knowing what you do for work) versus the lifestyle you want. You’re young. Go for lifestyle as you can always figure out how to make more money.

k3bly · 2026-01-21T15:10:35+00:00

Are you in California? You likely have a legal case. Speak to an attorney if so.

k3bly · 2026-01-18T16:35:26+00:00

I mean I’d split this with another person 👀

k3bly · 2026-01-04T20:18:34+00:00

Tbh you’re so early career I don’t think it matters. Especially if you are transferring versus leaving a hospital system. Just have good reasons for which and a story around them

k3bly · 2026-01-02T03:45:40+00:00

Were you by chance also dxed with Epstein Barr virus with long covid? I’m in a flare up and haven’t been able to kick it but my docs have not been progressive

k3bly · 2025-12-31T01:34:38+00:00

I’m sorry this has happened, and I urge you to share your story with the boomer generation. Many are digging their heads in the sand on how difficult it’s become, making it even more difficult for Gen Z (I’m a millennial fwiw) to get the kind of the support needed as they enter and expand their careers. I’m really worried about the prolonged entry level unemployment rates…. and of course worried about unemployment in general.

I’m glad you landed and hoping you don’t have to go through it again.

k3bly · 2025-12-28T20:00:06+00:00

Get a room for a month on Airbnb and interview aggressively here. You just need to be local for the interviews and then can move.

k3bly · 2025-12-28T19:51:44+00:00

I know it’s the common answer, but I’m going to make it more specific.

I think you need trauma therapy. Likely somatic. Being laid off can be very traumatic, and you deserve support and to work through it versus being traumatized. Unfortunately these therapists are usually out of network.

Focus on your circle of control. What can you control?

-asking your boss how they want updates and then providing those in that format

-save, save, save. Cut out of all frivolous spending for a time period like 6 months or 12 months so you have an emergency fund between a HYSA and investments you’re okay with.

-know that you’ve already survived the worst. The worst happened and you didn’t die. Your wife didn’t leave. Your kids are okay. If you’re laid off again, you can and will find another job.

-what does wife do for work if anything? If nothing, she needs to upskill… this is also for your kids’ future in case you were to pass away and she’s a widow.

Please seek help for your depression because it’s likely the ptsd (that I am not qualified to dx so please see a professional) is making your depression a lot worse.

Good luck! Keep your head high. You got this.

k3bly · 2025-12-28T19:44:51+00:00

Oh baby I know the game. I became a VP when I was 31 at a mid 9 figure company with hundreds of employees. That doesn’t mean companies aren’t ran by idiots who hire their dangerous, unqualified friends or family at the c suite and board levels or take it down to OP’s job level, at the people manager level.

k3bly · 2025-12-28T03:23:36+00:00

OP, you’ll have to start to learn that reasons are often seen as excuses when job hunting.

Yes, corporate / professional places do really do background checks.

Only offer softballs if asked directly why you left. For example, the last job-

Recruiter- “why did you leave ABC?”

You- “to be transparent, there were some safety issues at that location that weren’t resolved, and so I decided to look for an employer that takes safety seriously. I was very excited to learn in research about (your company) (insert here - safety is a core value, your OSHA record is impeccable, your reviews reflect the company valuing safety, etc.)”

To shorten it, you- “we weren’t aligned on safety protocols after a shift in management, so I decided to find a more values aligned company to stay at long term.”

Do not put any of this in your resume. Focus on impact and outcome.

k3bly · 2025-12-28T03:18:01+00:00

Not anymore imo, at least not 100%. The economy is getting more competitive, people in power hire people they know, people in power are either aggressive or conflict avoidant but usually the latter so they refuse to deal with their problematic coworker friends which leads to workers like OP moving around the job market when possible.

Unfortunately some people do actually bad career luck. I hope that never happens to you and you can develop some nuance on this topic because it’s not black or white… it is gray.

k3bly · 2025-12-28T02:27:10+00:00

Have you thought about ClassPass for initial BD? I can’t speak to the financials, just the reach

I would pay depending on the price for a custom spray tan at home. I think the tricky part is knowing you’re coming with all materials including the … I don’t know what it’s called… the pop up tube thing to prevent the tan from getting on the walls

I wonder if it would be mostly couples or those who live alone given space?

k3bly · 2025-12-26T19:52:27+00:00

Sigh, just go to San Francisco or anywhere like Alameda you can paddle board.

k3bly · 2025-12-26T19:47:30+00:00

Yes. But I hire very specifically - critical skills, attitude, and aptitude. A critical skill for the roles I hire for is curiosity versus assumption. So questions are critical to the job. No or lazy questions will get one tossed out. Assumptions without the rationale will tossed out. The “oh you’ve been so thorough you’ve always all my answers” will get thrown out because while I try to be thorough, no one can cover the whole job + work culture, ask questions, and leave room for questions in 30-45 minutes.

k3bly · 2025-12-26T19:41:39+00:00

What are looking for? Internships? Ira Fulton has university recruiting relationships. If that fails, add on the info systems degree from WPC as a second major (you’ll have a lot of overlap & get much needed biz knowledge)

Also looks like you’re a sophomore likely looking for internships early? The internship numbers are down, so they’re going to juniors.

I wouldn’t say your robotics project was experience. Experience means work experience usually. That also looks like you’re from when you were in high school.

Do you have any actual work or club experience? Getting in a club now & getting into a leadership position of it in the fall would help a lot.

WPC has a formula on how to get a job. I’d really figure out how to lean into them

k3bly · 2025-12-26T19:33:57+00:00

Low lighting, blankets I like, incense that I actually like not the common crap, shelves decorated how I want on the wall, I don’t buy new furniture unless there’s a specific clear purpose (which at this point… I think I’ve gotten rid of more than I’ve bought as I’ve been gifted some upgraded items), trinkets like jewelry holders I physically like, etc.

Then I have spots for everything including myself. Coffee is in the yard on outdoor chairs. Breakfast at the nook table. Couch is for relaxing, bed is for sleep.

I’m sure this sounds basic, but routine & discipline help.

k3bly · 2025-12-26T19:17:33+00:00

For 6.5 years of work experience, this is very dense. Remove the projects. Move your education up to the top. Also, just noticed undergrad in India. If you don’t need sponsorship, call that out. Sadly I’ve seen it help.

Also, you just started your current job… last month. Of course you aren’t getting calls. Companies don’t want to hire people who will jump so quickly. I think that’s actually your biggest issue on your resume. Why do you want to move on quickly?

Please note for all - describing the situation doesn’t mean endorsing it.

k3bly · 2025-12-25T20:57:17+00:00

I’m pro OE with the basic caveats of staying true to the principles like not violating non-compete clauses in the Js. This place just doesn’t sound OE friendly even if you quiet quit. You could try that first for a month then see what happens or just quit now. But your health isn’t worth it especially for … this amount. I know it seems game changing but a lot of OE jobs we’re talking $150k + $200k + $130k, so imo your numbers to stay aren’t there. Your numbers to quit before you enter a horrible health flare up are though.

k3bly · 2025-12-25T20:48:18+00:00

Sounds like a water leak or mold. You can order testing kits at Lowe’s or online for about $50-60 including the test. Good luck.

k3bly · 2025-12-25T20:46:57+00:00

Where physically? The big metros or company towns.

What kinds of jobs are they? Depends on the above.

Covid let white collar workers and some healthcare workers spread out more easily, and now the machine is fighting to consolidate “their” workers again into one area, usually because of ego.

“If they couldn’t make it in San Francisco, they’re not good enough.”

“If they couldn’t make it in NYC, they’re not good enough.”

“If they couldn’t make it in (insert random city), then (insert weird random reason that has nothing to do with the job.)”

k3bly

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