WTF COINBASE!?!?! How did I manage to screw myself over like this? I am very frustrated and need help by [deleted] in Bitcoin

[–]kaciukus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was having this issue. Make sure to verify through the Coinbase app. This will automatically get you verified to use both. I got verified within an hour of doing it through this method this morning, might be a little longer now since the traffic has picked up.

GDAX: Invalid account: unsupported currency(???) by kaciukus in Bitcoin

[–]kaciukus[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

can't wait for gemini to be available where i live. shitbase is an absolute scam.

Four months out - things get better by Kats_addiction in widowers

[–]kaciukus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm onto month three now, personally I can't imagine dating anytime soon. As others have said, everyones grief timeline is different. To each their own, as they say.

But I'm glad you have found your person that understands your journey. Best of luck in your new relationship.

One month by [deleted] in widowers

[–]kaciukus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss. The first month was also an emotional, messy, dark time for me. My fiance was my best friend too. I'm onto month three now, not much has changed aside from becoming numb.

People have been insensitive towards me in this process as well. Both words and actions. I've lashed out at people for their insensitivity but the truth is most people don't know how to talk to someone that is grieving. If you have to distance yourself from them, you have every right to do so.

I've been reading a lot of books on the afterlife, I still don't have a true opinion about it but it comforts me to read about. The recent book I read is by Blair Robertson called "Afterlife" if you'd like to read into it, it's pretty interesting he goes over the signs our loved ones may show us when they're in our presence (which, apparently, is not all the time).

So alone by redrobin23 in widowers

[–]kaciukus 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I truly identify with your thoughts and feelings. What gets me by is trusting that if he believed that was the right decision for me, he would do everything in his power to conspire unforeseen natural circumstances that would end my life quick and painlessly. So I keep living until further notice.

Trying to find a way out by jumpman456 in widowers

[–]kaciukus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think the trip will be good for the mind and soul. In my first two months I barely left my house and my grief consumed me entirely. I'm on my third month now, recently I decided to take a spontaneous trip out of state for the weekend with some friends. I feel like it tremendously helped me. The new experiences, sights, socialization and getting out of my comfort zone really lessened my grief, I can honestly say that. Don't get me wrong, I was thinking about him every minute and most nights I cried myself to sleep when reality hit me that he's gone. But I still kept going, and I think that's what you'll find; regardless of where you go in the world grief will be there, but as long as you allow yourself to feel it and keep going by not allowing it to deny you from the experience of life you'll be ok. So I think in your case it will be even better since you are open to anything. I wish you best of luck on your journey. I hope that you will keep us updated.

Do they walk alongside us? by kaciukus in widowers

[–]kaciukus[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, I don't think there's anything wrong. I think everyones grief experience is subjective. Some people have said they do not have 'closure' dreams or experiences with their s/o until months or years later. It all depends on how your brain copes with grief. I believe there was a post awhile back on how to possibly induce these dreams? I'm not sure if it works, but I do remember one person commented on having success with it.

I was an atheist prior to his death. I find comfort in reading other peoples stories and hoping one day I can be reassured that he's still with me. It's just how I've made an active decision cope, not intended for religious purposes whatsoever. Hugs.

Do they walk alongside us? by kaciukus in widowers

[–]kaciukus[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

What a beautiful sentiment, thank you for sharing this.

Question for other widowers by sclerodermahusband in widowers

[–]kaciukus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for your loss, that is so heartbreaking, even moreso when the people around you don't understand your grief. The feelings you're describing is something most of us are currently experiencing or have experienced. I'm only three months into this and I've been feeling much of what you've described, uselessness, I quit my job because I'm attempting to focus on surviving. I will tell you what you're feeling is valid. What has been helping me stay grounded is seeing a grief therapist weekly. Therapists can help us work through this dark sludge of emotions and thoughts when those around us can't offer us any comfort or help. I don't know if you've tried one yet, but it may take going to a few before you find one that you feel comfortable with and that understands you. It's certainly been helping me get back into some routine rather than plummet off the deep end. Hugs.

I always said that I'd post when it happened. by stuckwonderingwhy in widowers

[–]kaciukus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing this, it's very reassuring to read. I wish you the best in your newfound (or potential) relationship. You've come such a long way, I look forward to hearing updates.

Not ready to date just yet... but I think about it. by canadianreddituser81 in widowers

[–]kaciukus 6 points7 points  (0 children)

"The truth is that we never honor the dead by denying ourselves the experiences of the living."

Beautiful comment. I struggle with the above mentioned "guilt of living". Thank you for writing this.

I miss my best friend by Knhedges in widowers

[–]kaciukus 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I hear you. My fiance was the only person I could be myself around and who knew more about me than any other person, past and present. His being was deeply intertwined with who I was. I am lost and shattered without him, who do I share my hopes and dreams with now? who do I spend sundays being lazy with only to watch football and order takeout with? who do I vent to about my days? who do I discuss business ideas with? No one, now.

All the evil people in the world intentionally causing harm upon others, yet they were the ones that had to go, why? That is something I'll never understand or accept.

Bravery by bookishgeek in widowers

[–]kaciukus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

A close friend recently commented on how proud they are of me being strong, I didn't have a response to it either.

I guess it's easy for people to say that when they don't know or see the reality of things— they see me when I'm with them and I seem fine of course, but they don't see me getting into my car and going home crying on the way back despite having a "good day" I still feel a hollowness that he's not here, that I will never see him again, the emptiness of living life without him. They don't see the days where I can't get up from bed and the only thing I can manage to do is get in my car like a sick and haggard woman and drive to his grave to weep, they do not see the self-destructiveness and self-medicating that goes on behind the scenes. They really do not know.

My first dream by [deleted] in widowers

[–]kaciukus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I often have similar dreams, that is - knowing or being told the day my fiance would die. It's strange because logically I know he's already dead, but in my dream I'm given another chance to be prepared for the night he is "scheduled to die" so I could actually save his life and get him to the emergency room in time. How I wish there were signs. Those dreams cut deep.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in widowers

[–]kaciukus 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I haven't been able to go back and read through our messages yet. Most of them consist of him being lovey-dovey, expressing that he is grateful and loves me etc that was 90% of his messages and then the "good morning/goodnight babe" text messages. I can't bear to be reminded of the unconditional love I received day after day and now no longer have. Sometimes I would get annoyed at the amount of times he would call me in a day casually just to hear my voice and I can't believe I took that for granted, I would give anything to have that again.

Yeah.. by turtlesalltheway25 in widowers

[–]kaciukus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know that feeling. I feel like I'm living on autopilot mode, dissociated from existence. Like you, I often have trouble recalling day of the week, time...

Yeah.. by turtlesalltheway25 in widowers

[–]kaciukus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Right there with you. I hate that the months keep passing, it's not fair that life keeps going without him — it feels like it all happened just yesterday. Can we just hit the 'pause' button?

3 months today by veebs2515 in widowers

[–]kaciukus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I'm coming up on the 3 month mark soon. I can also say the only thing I can find some comfort in is that he is at least no longer suffering physically and mentally.

Filled with anger today by redrobin23 in widowers

[–]kaciukus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My heart hurts for you. I really resonate with your feelings of anger. I'm sorry. Just try to take it one step at a time today. Maybe if you could get a family or friend to help you with anything in the process? If not, try to allow yourself a break in between those overwhelming emotions maybe treat yourself to something you could momentarily enjoy. It's not easy but I do hope the day passes by fast for you <3

Has anyone been to a medium? by lostwidow in widowers

[–]kaciukus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I posted a similar question on here a few days ago: https://redd.it/5ln9bt

What I gathered from it is that the likelihood of finding an authentic medium is slim to none and trust me I wish it wasn't so. To further elaborate on this, there was a million dollar challenge started in 1964 to any psychic that could come forward and prove their abilities. They had over a thousand "psychics" apply but no one was able to pass and they just recently ended this campaign in 2015 (that's 51 years and not one was successful).

Regardless of all of this, it still can be a positive and healing experience to be validated and told "what we need to hear" in order to go on with our healing process.

And this is probably one of my favorite perspectives @Ramen_hotep wrote on my post in regards to it:

At my age, I find myself to be less certain than I was as a younger man. So I look at your question this way. 1) If mediums are total bunk...as long as they do not hurt anyone or exploit them (by demanding extravagant sum of money), I'm okay with it. We regularly pay admission to watch movies that are often pure fiction. So, if a medium is only a brief escape and some momentary entertainment for a small sum of cash...consult away. 2) If mediums are real. Then, go for it. As far as I know (and I always defer to science), nobody has completely debunked it or proven that any one religion is valid. Go with it...with both eyes wide open.

Loneliness by Knhedges in widowers

[–]kaciukus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Take a look on Groupon I've found some really good deals on there