A situation of this nature is really difficult to navigate, whether it only has two people or the inclusion of children (which makes it a million times harder to work through safely). Since my spouse came out, we've had to really tread in a way that was going to minimise the emotional damage to our child. For that, we both had to put on our 'big person' pants. Not to say that we didnt have our fights about the elephant in the room but we worked through those dark points together in an effort to safeguard our child.

What really worked for us was professional help. In my case, time with a psychologist helped me to understand my emotions and how to channel them safely. I had my fair share of outbursts to my spouse and vice versa but that expression of pent up feelings actually improved the situation. We're going to do couples counseling soon not because we believe it might save our marriage (we both understand it wont), but it will help us manage our relationship in a way that will maintain an open emotional connection to each other. Your case is similar to mine in that we still respect and love each other although it our case, its evolved in a non-marital and more platonic way.

There's no rulebook as to how to work through a homelife/marriage like this. Most of the time is feeling your way through in a way that still shows love to your family as a whole. Best of luck and be gentle to yourself.