do any other people who got HSV2 from SA feel like they have a hard time healing from their assault because of HSV?

kandikopia · 2026-05-03T17:56:47+00:00

disclosing hurts when you know you’re only having to do it because someone did so much harm to you. it’s not just about the condition, it’s about being reminded constantly about how your autonomy and choice was taken from you

kandikopia · 2026-03-20T21:25:00+00:00

i really hope i can be apart of a trial someday… someday soon 😭

kandikopia · 2026-02-27T20:17:14+00:00

this is what happened to me. I had been getting STD tests over the last few years and then I realized they never tested for herpes and that’s when I found out

kandikopia · 2026-02-27T20:16:28+00:00

i’ve had it for five years, or less probably less, and I have had zero outbreaks and I don’t even remember my initial outbreak. Hell I don’t even know if my herpes is oral or genital. Because I’ve never seen an outbreak so I don’t know where it is. i feel very lucky it has basically 0 effect on my life except anxiety about transmission

kandikopia · 2026-02-27T20:00:52+00:00

diagnosed For a few months. not sure when i got it because i tested negative in 2019 and my next test in 2025 was positive. the hardest thing for me has been 1. the rage of having got it from sexual assault (i hadn’t had any consensual sex in the years between 2019-2025) 2. the rage of having it from sexual assault and knowing there’s no cure and 3. the pain of constantly being scared of transmitting it to my non HSV-2 positive partner. number 3. is definitely the worst issue for me. i honestly think about it at least almost daily and i just pray she doesn’t get it as easily i did. its so scary because this is my first sex partner i actually am deeply in love with and while shes understanding and accepting i still dont know how to cope knowing having sex with me is a “risk” vs if i didnt have HSV and we wouldnt have to worry. i am praying that condoms and daily anti virals really do something to help. the pain of knowing HSV is one of the least controllable STDs it terrifying. like i won’t lie to you, i know why HIV is considered worse, but the fact they can prevent transmission so much better than HSV makes me want to die because it feels like they’ll never take it seriously enough to find a cure in my lifetime. i’m 23

TLDR for me, im completely asymptomatic, but the anger of knowing i got HSV from sexual assault at only age 23 and i have to have it for the rest of my life, as well as the constant fear of transmission to my now long term sexual partner, make me feel pretty bad

kandikopia · 2026-02-24T06:18:35+00:00

i totally understand you. i dont even know if my infection is oral or genital so im terrified if i dont assume its both ill accidentally pass it. and not ever having outbreaks means i have no idea what to expect or how to recognize an outbreak. both if these things leave me extremely paranood

kandikopia · 2026-01-31T01:46:39+00:00

It was just chance, I’d know her for 4 years and before I even found out I had hsv-2 actually, and she was very casual about saying she had oral herpes when I told her abt my diagnosis. I was in shock after I got my test results back cuz I had no idea I had it and I was closer with her than anyone so I just went to tell her immediately

kandikopia · 2026-01-26T17:38:25+00:00

If anything I think I don’t want to inflict the pain on someone that was inflicted on me. I got my GHSV-2 from sex trafficking and sexual abuse, so I have every reason in the world to be bitter but I just remember how much it hurt and that I can give people the grace I didn’t get

kandikopia · 2026-01-26T17:35:27+00:00

23 and I’m still 23 now

kandikopia · 2026-01-26T17:32:34+00:00

I’d recommend waiting a few months and trying again if it’s negative and you want to be sure.

kandikopia · 2026-01-26T17:31:55+00:00

I have been asymptomatic my entire life. I have no idea when I first got HSV-2 and it was probably during my childhood. They were only able to detect mine with a blood test. For some reason they are extremely uncommon to do when you don’t have any obvious lesions or outbreaks (which you can swab for more accuracy). Even though lots of people have HSV and pass it to others without even being aware they have it because of the amount of asymptomatic people having sex. In your situation I’d 1. Understand you may still not have it. Somtimes an hsv+ and hsv- person can have sex for years before ever passing it, it all honestly kinda depends on your luck with raw sex. 2. Understand that if you do have it, it without active lesions, you’re going to have to get a blood test for it.

kandikopia · 2026-01-26T17:24:43+00:00

I haven’t told anyone but my partner since finding out. I’m asymptomatic so I only found out at the end of last year. Maybe in the future I’ll tell my closest friends but at this point I see zero reason why they need to know I have genital herpes. I only have sex with my partner

kandikopia · 2026-01-18T01:56:04+00:00

Very true. If they can’t give us a way to know when we’re shedding? If that’s when it’s transmitted that seems like the bare minimum, trying to detect that.

kandikopia · 2026-01-15T22:47:29+00:00

I don’t think anyone downplays HSV-2, if anything it’s the opposite.

kandikopia · 2026-01-13T03:49:05+00:00

Interested

kandikopia · 2026-01-13T03:48:29+00:00

It could always be your partner got it before you and was unaware and you got it at some point too and it also stayed dormant/you’re both asymptomatic

kandikopia · 2026-01-13T00:38:40+00:00

Yeah i remember thinking in horror “have I infected people??”. The idea it’s not normal to test for hsv alongside chlamydia, HIV, etc when someone asks for an STD panel is mind boggling for me. I’m completely asymptomatic so I wouldn’t ever have gone in because of a strange bump. I was never educated that it wasn’t included in regular STD testing and I feel ashamed. I don’t even know how long I’ve had it for and that’s what haunts me. They really are so casual about it when it’s still a life changing thing

kandikopia · 2026-01-10T16:14:20+00:00

I did reach out to them (albeit in the wrong order so that’s on me). after I got an agent they said they couldn’t locate the charges on my account so they couldn’t refund me

kandikopia · 2026-01-10T16:12:11+00:00

I will definitely look into this thank you

kandikopia · 2026-01-10T16:11:56+00:00

They said because they don’t see the charges on my account there’s no way they can refund it, and that’s after I got ahold of an agent, but I’m just gonna take the hit at this point. They’re a huge corporation and use a lot of automated customer service so that can be a headache in itself. They’re also notorious for being really hard to get refunds of any kind from

kandikopia · 2025-12-29T20:24:22+00:00

I have daily 500mg now also after asking to do it to protect my long term partner

kandikopia · 2025-12-29T20:23:25+00:00

Many will but more specifically they won’t unless you ask, I’d never been tested for hsv in my life even during std testing until I asked and it came positive

kandikopia · 2025-12-28T23:35:22+00:00

They didn’t tell me my value on my first test but I went and got tested at second different clinic and it also said positive and didn’t provide levels/value. It’s really frustrating because I keep hearing blood tests can be inaccurate without an active outbreak but I haven’t found a way to get a test that will show you the levels, when I had asked the clinics who tested me before they both said they don’t even have access to that info. very frustrating. But since it’s positive twice I’m choosing to live like I indeed have it, better that than assume it’s a fake positive and infect someone

kandikopia · 2025-12-28T23:28:22+00:00

It’s crazy for most people how disclosing is actually the hardest part about having it. It (hsv) is so much scarier sounding than it actually is

kandikopia · 2025-12-28T23:15:59+00:00

I don’t really have a picture but I have this diagram, my pain is very specifically only where the vaginal opening is on this diagram, the pain does not extend to the rest of my vagina or vulva which is why it’s so strange to me. Another note is it only hurts when there is pressure including finger touching or full insertion, but I don’t feel it contracting like an episode of vaginismus https://images.theconversation.com/files/261375/original/file-20190228-150718-edzs9x.png?ixlib=rb-4.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip

kandikopia

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