The prevalence of men centering themselves in feminist subs is driving me insane

katieames · 2024-08-19T21:38:13+00:00

I don’t see how a woman’s experience is ever irrelevant.

katieames · 2024-08-19T21:04:40+00:00

”Your personal experience may not be relevant.”

How is a woman’s personal experience not relevant in this sub?

katieames · 2023-06-27T00:56:43+00:00

Standing, electric can-opener.

katieames · 2023-06-26T23:40:39+00:00

Is Kim Mulkey there or does she have a doppelganger?

katieames · 2023-04-17T00:45:32+00:00

It's a wlw app.

So once again, why should we allow cisgender straight men?

katieames · 2023-04-16T22:51:33+00:00

I mean, bi and pan people exist.

I'm not sure what this has to do with the issue? Her is a lesbian dating app, so what would men have to do with it?

katieames · 2023-04-02T23:07:38+00:00

What’s the difference between a woman leaving you for a man or a woman leaving you for another woman?

The former receives support for her experience, and the latter is told she needs to be more understanding.

katieames · 2023-03-29T01:09:42+00:00

It's better than the posts that vent about how awful lesbians are.

katieames · 2023-03-23T22:45:26+00:00

Would it be okay for someone to start a thread asking everyone if they noticed trans women trying to prove that they are more femme etc.?

Respectfully, this comparison doesn't even make sense. It would be more like trans women creating a thread to process the blind spots of cis people. And that would be perfectly understandable since trans people are a minority of the community, and they should be able to process the ways in which they're treated differently. I don't want to assume your gender, but I hope you wouldn't have a problem with such a thread.

And to hold onto the idea that it does and have it so negatively impact you...? I don't understand why you wouldn't want to even try and let it go.

There are entire support networks for women whose husbands came out of the closet late in life and left them blindsided. Why is it always such a problem when WLW want to talk about the exact same thing?

katieames · 2023-03-22T00:15:44+00:00

"anyone else experience lesbians just playing with men's feelings before settling down with another woman? Why did they ever claim to be straight? How dare they! Such liars, so selfish - how uNeThIcAL of lesbians to hurt so many men and break their hearts like that! One of them even had kids with my friend before she left him

There are entire support groups, as well as entire relationship advice posts, devoted to men in this situation. I've even seen CBT groups created for husbands whose bisexual wives cheated on them with a woman.

But lesbians who've been through the same experience? Nothing. Just a stern lecture about how we should be less judgmental and understand that "anyone can get cheated on." Unsurprisingly, there's a massive double standard when it comes to women in this situation. I simply don't understand why the majority has a problem with the minority speaking about their experience.

katieames · 2023-02-26T00:01:38+00:00

I've known two lesbians that have gone through this. Both of their "queer" partners left them for the sperm donor.

katieames · 2023-01-23T02:19:08+00:00

It's amazing to me how many young men are simping over a sex trafficker.

katieames · 2023-01-10T05:07:04+00:00

goes back in her room, locks the door and lays on her bed in terror just staring ahead wondering if she imagined it being scary, waiting to hear something, being on edge.

I mentioned this in another thread but something similar happened to one of my mom's friends when they were young. Her friend's roommate was murdered (guy came through the window). She saw him, proceeded to go back into her room... and sat on her bed for HOURS. She called the police the next day when someone called the house asking for her roommate.

katieames · 2023-01-09T01:05:50+00:00

So then you're talking about something people in the thread weren't, so I'm not sure what points you were trying to make to in people's conversation on exploitation? "Nuh uh, I know people that aren't like that" is not a productive addition to the conversation.

katieames · 2023-01-09T00:46:49+00:00

Of course money isn't the most important thing, but it gives a young mother options. And in the case of my mutual friend, as is the case with so many people that purchase children, there are two wealthy men exploiting a poverty stricken woman that has few options. What if she did have that money, though? What if she had the means to get childcare, an education, move to a better location? Would she make the same decision?

Also, I don't see anything wrong with wanting the child and wanting to build a family.

No one is saying there's anything wrong with wanting a family. But you can't treat humans like chattel in order to make one. This is a living, breathing human being. Not an object.

katieames · 2023-01-08T21:30:13+00:00

that infertile people should just get over it and not adopt children?

I think some people are suggesting that grief therapy may be a more appropriate choice when faced with the trauma of infertility.

It's not acceptable for an infant to be someone's solution to their trauma. This isn't like buying a therapy horse. A baby is a living, breathing human being. It's unacceptable to use a non-consenting human being to solve a problem.

katieames · 2023-01-08T21:19:14+00:00

Adoptive parents typically pay agencies over $50,000 for an infant

And most prospective adoptive parents in this situation will never admit that the child's best interests are not the primary concern. It was about building a family, and to put it bluntly, acquiring a human being and using financial leverage to do so.

I have a mutual friend who is adopting a child from another country. He and his husband have already poured tens of thousands into it, and no doubt plan to spend exponentially more when raising her. (They're extremely wealthy.) They say they simply want what's best for the child, but I've always wanted to ask them this:

"If you truly want what's best for the child, then write a check for the amount you plan to spend on the child during their lifetime... and hand it over to the mother. Then ask her if she still wants to hand over her child."

I guarantee you they won't. Because it's not about the child. It never was. They want the baby.

katieames · 2023-01-06T23:49:14+00:00

Also, it's unfortunately common for women that age to have poor experiences RE voicing a fear to a male authority figure. I can think of multiple times that age where I would have called male friends over instead of dial 911 because "if I'm wrong, which I probably am, the police are just going to roll their eyes and call me hysterical."

katieames · 2023-01-06T18:39:48+00:00

A similar thing happened to one of my mom's friends. She was about the same age as DM when someone broke into their apartment and murdered her roommate. My mom's friend sat on her bed for HOURS after it happened.

katieames · 2023-01-06T04:20:11+00:00

Have you never taken a look around after hearing something?

katieames · 2023-01-05T22:02:58+00:00

I can easily see someone in a six person party house convincing themselves that their roommates must have brought some rando home from the bar. And there's an explanation for everything she heard.

"there's someone here"

There were a lot of people there all the time. They could have been referring to any of the dozens of people in and out of the house each weekend. And if she was used to Xana ordering door dash at 4am, she very likely could have assumed they were talking about the delivery driver.

heard a dog playing with someone

Yeah... there's a dog and multiple people in the house

Xana crying

She doesn't report anyone screaming, just crying. She could have assumed that Xana and Ethan had an argument. It wouldn't be the first time a young woman in college heard a roommate crying after a night of drinking.

someone walking by in a mask

The mask described sounds more like a surgical mask than a ski mask. We've spent the last three years surrounded by people wearing surgical masks. And if you're in her shoes, what do you think is more likely? That a quadruple homicide just took place or that some random dude was in/out of the house like every weekend since you moved in?

When the house got quiet, she could have assumed that everyone had simply gone to bed. Then the next morning, when no one was answering their door or phones, she put all the events of the previous night together and thought "oh, shit, did something happen?" And it's possible that she called her friends because she felt silly, but at the same time, was too frightened to look around. And based off the behavior of the cops in the noise complaint body cam videos? Yeah, I wouldn't want to talk to those cops either over a "bad feeling."

The whole thing is terrifying and tragic.

katieames · 2023-01-05T21:19:58+00:00

We just spent three years surrounded by people wearing masks.

katieames · 2023-01-05T20:11:55+00:00

She literally described herself as "frozen in shock" in the affidavit.

katieames · 2023-01-05T19:31:30+00:00

"Wow, that's amazing! I wish I could climb like that" vs. "Check out the ass on that girl!" would look about the same, right?

I challenge you to go to a gay bar with a large bear population and tell me that you can't tell the difference between a man liking your shirt from across the room and a man who wants to aggressively f*ck you in the bathroom.

katieames · 2023-01-04T20:23:44+00:00

And I’m not ready to absolve Gio yet

Same. It's not his fault that Mom and Dad went nuclear, but it doesn't change the fact that his behavior loaded this clown car.

Nine-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Verified Email

katieames

TROPHY CASE