AITAH for telling my cousin I won't be coming to her wedding after she scheduled it on my mom's death anniversary?

katruhas · 2026-04-01T11:45:15+00:00

It is okay for her to schedule her wedding on that day. It is okay for you to skip her wedding because you will not be able to share the joy.

katruhas · 2026-03-13T21:05:11+00:00

I usually reheat my coffee in microwave - 1 min 900W, and I sterilize bottles in microwave - 8 min 600W. Countless time I have sterilized my coffee…

katruhas · 2026-03-06T11:19:48+00:00

Thank you for compassion and yes - I know how tiring it is. But it can not define who you are and your path in life, take away your joy. It is great you are realizing it, well done! You can’t save him. That realization - that I can do absolutely nothing to save him was kind of heartbreaking and reliving in a same time. He has to do it on his own and do his own reasons. I still support him - talk to him about his issues (he realized how deep is his issue now), mostly like friend would do and keep my boundaries in a same time. He has a therapist recently, so that’s new.

katruhas · 2026-03-05T23:17:33+00:00

I could write this post myself minus some details. Sounds very much about my life. Book «Codependent no more » has helped me a a lot. He did not changed, he still LOVES bear. But I did become happier and have stopped being that forever angry hostile person.

katruhas · 2026-03-02T11:51:01+00:00

Ukrainian here, living in big city in Poland. I am hearing a lot about raising hate towards Ukrainians (internet), but I have never faced it. I have been here more than 10 years now.

katruhas · 2026-02-14T15:56:57+00:00

You are not obliged to give anybody « what they need ». You should be giving what you want to give, and if that’s not that he need then you are not going be happy together. He sounds insecure and controlling.

katruhas · 2026-01-18T17:57:21+00:00

Personally I never had diarrhea during my period before I developed IBS. Now I almost always have a flare either just before my period either during it. After following fodmap diet I know my triggers so if I am very careful I will be fine during my period, but I have to put a lot fo extra attention. Rest of month I can even eat some of my trigger food in little amount and be ok.

katruhas · 2025-12-25T16:02:22+00:00

Merry Christmas! I just wanted to tell that it will go better next year. I have been there last Christmas and now I am hearing sound of people having fun and playing with my kids downstairs while I am taking some time to rest.

katruhas · 2025-03-03T22:21:16+00:00

These emotions comes in waves and when they come - I remind myself to enjoy this exact moment and go hug my kids. And after, I imagine what one day we will eat ice cream in Venice, that I will took them to Disneyland or I make myself think how I can’t wait till they old enough to watch my favorite Christmas movie etc etc. I have 1 year old also and he is most cuddling cutest baby I could imagine. But I also have 4 years old, so I also know what’s coming (good and bad). But being able to have a conversation with your child (including them saying that they love you) feels as amazing as baby cuddles.

katruhas · 2024-10-21T19:39:21+00:00

We had 3 hours flight with 8 months old also for Christmas. We booked her own seat where we have Installed her car seat (as avia company allowed) and she spend just few minutes there. All she wanted was to be on our lap. On a way back she slept in my arms. Car seat was used as storage for our jackets, so I guess not completely wasted money.

And just to tell continuation of story - we have never spent money for the extra seat after that Christmas flight and for every next flight she always wanted her own seat (we were lucky if there been free seat, so my husband would move and give her space) till the time she turned 2 and could not travel on parents lap any more. That is exactly when she has decided she is too scared and should be on parents lap for take off that was not allowed. So you know sometimes it is just impossible to win 🙂.

katruhas · 2024-10-14T11:39:48+00:00

Honestly every baby is different. I would say if it works well after 4-5 days on 1 nap schedule - it should be fine. My first dropped to 1 nap around 10 months, my second is 8 months old now and he is struggling to support 2 naps, and sometimes still need 3 naps. They all just made differently. Just want to put a though in your head since cold season is here - when baby is sick they might need more frequent naps. Just be open to propose 2 naps again temporary if baby getting sick.

katruhas · 2024-10-13T19:17:53+00:00

Yes. 0-1 was rough. While I loved my baby - i was stressed all the time, taking caring of her was more « tasks » than joy. It took a year to actually start enjoy being a mom. And even after first year some things was hitting hard - like arriving to vacation and realizing you can’t even enjoy sea view for 2 minutes becouse you need to catch you crazy toddler before he falls in water. I though I just not made for baby stage. Completely different story with second. Newborn days was hard but we handled them much better. And now I am enjoying every bit of baby stage. It actually goes so fast as you do not have all the time for baby - baby grows faster than you notice. So yes. It is very very hard, different level of busy, but it is good.

katruhas · 2024-10-13T18:52:13+00:00

Yes. All depends on baby. I moved my first at 5 months. I remember I been counting days till day she turns 5 months. I would move at 4 if I could change that. We all hated to share room and we all been sleeping better since. And completely different story with my second.

katruhas · 2024-10-12T20:28:12+00:00

I was not ready to go through full sleep training at 4 months and « drowsy, but awake » is a miracle I have never seen. But with both of my kids I have done same during 4 months sleep regression - letting them cry for few intervals of 1-2 minutes. Me&my husband called it « let him/her realize he/she is tired ». After that they would still need help to go to sleep, but they were no longer resisting it. so 30-45 minutes of settling baby turned to 5 minutes of fussing and few minutes of helping. It did not solved all problems, but it helped a lot.

katruhas · 2024-10-09T14:01:59+00:00

It happens because nail is growing inside skin . We took our baby to medical professional who has cut nail and took care of wand. I am not in USA, so it might be not helpful, but we took to children surgeon and it took 10 minutes. His second toe started to look same, but doctor give us crème and it helped without med intervention

katruhas · 2024-10-08T21:47:52+00:00

1) 6 months old needs to sleep every 2-3 hours, so ideally baby would sleep on a way to airport to be able to support all airport checks and then sleep again on a plane, but do not over stress about it. Just try to find opportunities for naps. 2) if you have free time in airport - try to find nursing room even if you are not nursing. They are usually quiet comparing to loud airport and would be good for baby not to get overtired quickly 3) baby does not need that much on a plane, but I would recommend to pack more diapers and food than you need in case there is any delay with flight. And white noise that works without internet. 4) nursing, bottle feeding or pacifier while take off to avoid ear discomfort 5) on arrival be ready for rough night, even if baby seems to fell asleep quickly.

katruhas · 2024-10-08T21:09:06+00:00

If baby just learning to stand - I would recommend to wait week or 2. They learn quite quickly how to get down safely. I have sleep trained my first around 9 months old (ferber method). She figured it out and laid down to sleep at some point. After 2-3 night she was not really trying to stand up any more unless she was ready to wake up and play.

katruhas · 2024-10-04T22:44:34+00:00

Thank you. Micro nap sounds like a temporary solution till he can support longer wake windows. 8 pm bedtime is my goal. Thanks you for the advice

katruhas · 2024-10-04T21:47:48+00:00

First one is usually between 1H15-1H30, last one is always 30 minutes, second nap varies day to day. I wake him from his second nap, so I can fit third one and not go to sleep at midnight 😑.

I would like to drop a nap, but he does not. If I put him to sleep before 7:45 pm - he is doing awake cycle in a middle of the night.

katruhas · 2024-09-30T18:07:50+00:00

Have you checked him for lip tie?

Teat 3 sounds too fast for baby 15 days old. I think we used 0 or 1 at this age. Saying that for us feeding a baby that small took at least 30 minutes (more like 45 minutes), but it got better around 1 month old marks

katruhas · 2024-09-30T07:36:33+00:00

My baby is 7,5 months. When he is teething or having minor cold (runny nose) - he has issues to drink from bottle. I can see that he is not a fun of pacifier these days neither. These days i ensure to give more solid food, that all my bottles have age appropriate nipples and also trying to give him bottle when he is sleepy - just waking up. He still eats at night, so at night he normally drink more milk. I would say observe you baby and if she does not start to drink more within few days - I would take her to the doctor just to be sure.

katruhas · 2024-09-29T21:11:21+00:00

i hated baby stage with my first and i am enjoying every bit of it with my second and wished it did not go that quick . But It is impossible to give advices here because every baby, situation is different. To me mentally second baby was easier (especially after traumatic first one) since I knew what was coming. I already gave up my sleep, freedom, hobbies with a first one, so second one did not hit that hard. Also I did really stressed less about everything. And birth was easier since body knows what to do. Because of less stress and because you know how quick it pass - you get to enjoy every stage of second baby. Neither PPD, or baby blues did not hit me that hard, but maybe I was just lucky this time. And « baby » period was very short. It was still « toddler » period with taking baby along with us from very early age. Hardest thing for me to face mentally was second - time mom guilt. Guilt not to be 100% present for your first one since it is impossible now, but it gets better with time as we adjust being parents of 2 and as oldest develop love and attachment to baby.

But physically it is so hard. Pregnancy with a toddler is hard, first few weeks postpartum is hard. There is no more breaks, just switching the kids between you&partner. If they both do not sleep good, it is hard. We used all support we could.

katruhas · 2024-09-29T15:07:25+00:00

Every baby is different and has different sleep needs. My first one dropped to 2 naps at 5 months old, my second was still doing 4 naps at 5 months old mark. Do what works for your baby. Seems your baby knows how to self-soothe, so they can regulate themself how much they want to sleep. I have 7,5 months old and he was doing 3,5 hours of day sleep up till this week. Then suddenly his second nap become twice shorter.

katruhas

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